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Dems & Pubs Battle Over Food Stamps [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 18 Feb 2018 | John Semmens

Posted on 02/18/2018 10:55:51 AM PST by John Semmens

In a proposal dubbed “America’s Harvest Box,” President Trump’s new budget calls for replacing half of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) vouchers with actual food for 80% of the program’s recipients. The “box” would contain allotments of shelf-stable milk, ready to eat cereals, pasta, peanut butter, beans and canned fruit and vegetables.

Democrats were quick to attack the plan. Michigan Sen Debbie Stabenow, the ranking Democrat on the agriculture committee, labeled it “not a serious proposal.” Rep Jim McGovern (D-Mass) called it “a cruel joke. It unfairly limits the choices of those dependent on the government for their living. We’ve been moving toward expanding the options for those in the program. The vouchers can and often are exchanged for cash that could be used to buy cigarettes or beer. The distribution of food would make these types of exchanges more difficult. It would be a step backward. Why should government dependents have fewer choices than the rest of society?”

Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue defended the plan as a “cost saving measure. The vouchers must pay for food at retail prices. We can buy the food at bulk rates and get more bang for the taxpayers’ money.”

Chairman of the House Agriculture Committee Rep. K. Michael Conaway (R-Texas) was cool to the idea. “I’m drafting a bill that will save billions in the SNAP program by tightening eligibility and requiring able-bodied recipients to work. Statistics show that fewer than half of the able-bodied in the program have jobs. This unforced dependency is both an unnecessary burden on taxpayers and ensnares millions in a perpetual cycle of idleness and dependency.”

McGovern also denounced Conaway’s idea that recipients ought to have to work if they are able. “It’s petty for a country as rich as America to force people to work if they want to eat,” he argued. “We abolished slavery more than 150 years ago. I find it reprehensible that Republicans are trying to sneak it back in as a budget economy measure.”

In related news, former New York City police officer Jose Vega is suing the Police Department for making him obese. Vega is currently living on a $4,000 per month disability pension. “My goal was to become a first-grade detective and homicide detective,’’ he said. “But they made me walk a beat where many of the vendors and restaurants expressed their support of law enforcement by giving me free food. I ballooned from 180 to 395 lbs. and couldn’t work anymore.” Vega is demanding that he be “taken back on the force part time for $6,200 a month. I could be kind of a ‘Nero Wolfe’ and solve crimes without ever having to leave my apartment."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://azconservative.org/2018/02/17/fbi-whiffs-on-school-shooting/


TOPICS: Food; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: democrats; republicans; satire; welfare

1 posted on 02/18/2018 10:55:52 AM PST by John Semmens
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The Dems are fighting with establishments that serve alcohol over food stamps? 😊
2 posted on 02/18/2018 10:59:30 AM PST by Olog-hai ("No Republican, no matter how liberal, is going to woo a Democratic vote." -- Ronald Reagan, 1960)
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To: John Semmens
The distribution of food would make these types of exchanges more difficult. It would be a step backward.

Yes it would be cannibalism because they're bananas!

3 posted on 02/18/2018 11:01:02 AM PST by rawcatslyentist ("All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing")
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To: John Semmens

I would still prefer:

Government Cheese
Soup Kitchens
Bread Lines

Bring it ALL out in to the Open!


4 posted on 02/18/2018 11:04:07 AM PST by eyeamok (Tolerance: The virtue of having a belief in Nothing!)
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To: John Semmens

The Harvest Box will help out tremendously in “food desert” communities. It will also provide local jobs for the delivery drivers while building up infrastructure for e-business.


5 posted on 02/18/2018 11:32:37 AM PST by BlackAdderess (MAGA!)
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To: John Semmens

Which part is satire? All sounds exactly like the Dems.


6 posted on 02/18/2018 11:40:22 AM PST by Teacher317 (We have now sunk to a depth at which restatement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men)
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