Posted on 01/09/2020 10:35:21 AM PST by wastedyears
My Dad passed at around 11:45am at the hospital. We were expecting it, but hearing it still hurts a lot.
He got e-coli by eating raw oysters or clams when on vacation in the early 80s, before I was conceived. My parents had been trying to have a kid, but that was preventing it; they eventually found out what it was, but the damage had been done by then.
Some years ago, he found out his kidneys were failing. He found out about the PD dialysis which he could do at home, and was optimistic about the future, how he would get a new kidney and even though retired, relax through his remaining life. Then more things started to go wrong.
Open heart surgery to replace two valves, a pacemaker, and 3 strokes in a year and a half. Winter 2017 he was feeling horrible, and *made a joke* about having walking pneumonia. Turned he out had pneumonia, flu, and an infection of his stomach lining. That stubborn ass conceived me and my sister.
This time, it was just too much. He had pneumonia, for which he waited about 2 months to seek treatment for. During that time, he was eating poorly and sleeping most of the time. Then he had what the medical team guesses were a series of mini strokes due to a clot in his heart, and that pretty much ruined his brain, and that was it. He was intubated Wednesday last week; my sister was his healthcare proxy, and decided on that so me, my Mom and his brother could at least see him while he was alive.
I didn't have a close relationship with him, but he was still my father. Me and my Mom went to bring the original healthcare proxy forms to the hospital this passed Tuesday. His nephrologist and his small team were across the street from the hospital, so we went there first to thank them for everything they tried to do for him in the years my Dad was going to him. Then we went to the hospital to bring the papers, and I turned into a mess after seeing him. He had the breathing tube in and probably wasn't able to say anything even without it, but I'm glad I was able to see him alive one last time. I couldn't really say anything to my Mom or the doctor, as I know it's difficult to understand me when I'm sobbing.
As incredible cold-blooded and rude as it sounds, he did it to himself, because he never sought treatment soon enough for anything, with the strokes being the sole exception.
Sorry for your loss RIP Mark Henriquez
You are being pragmatic. I loved my Dad, but he lived a similar life and died a similar way. I loved him as much as everyone loves their Dad.
As I’ve grown older I guess I get it. I miss him more now than I did then. Often I go to the gym and tell him on the way that I never imagined him doing the same. Then I laugh.
I am sorry for your loss. Don’t be angry at him. People do what they are going to do. All YOU can do is love them.
So sorry for your loss. My father passed after dealing with MS and it’s effects for about 30 years. Like you, we knew it was coming but still sad when it happened. Be assured you are not alone at this time.
Sorry for your loss. I don’t know why men are resistant to the doctor. I am no better.
So sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. Losing one’s parents is always very hard.
Prayers here for you and your family.
thanks for sharing what must be a very difficult situation of conflict.. your honest sharing is wonderful and nothing to be ashamed of. Seems to me you were a supportive daughter despite the frustrations. Your dad was younger than me and it is sad to know a lot of his issues came from the typical man’s reluctance to go to the doctor. Your dad was like so many other men
Yes, close or not, dad is dad ... you only have one and I hope in time the painful memories will fade and the earlier ones of joy in childhood will be your idea of dad.
We all do our best. Sometimes it is not enough and sometimes it is wrong. Life.
Hugs and God bless daughter of Mark..
I’m so sorry about your loss, wastedyears, and I second your exhortation about seeing a doctor!
I’m sorry to learn of your father’s suffering. Most all human suffering is human induced. Life is terminal. I know you will miss him even if you weren’t close.
You are in my prayers for peace.
I’m sorry to learn of your father’s suffering. Most all human suffering is human induced. Life is terminal. I know you will miss him even if you weren’t close.
You are in my prayers for peace.
I’m so sorry. Prayers and fond thoughts sent to you.
May your father rest in peace.
Prayers for you and your family.
Family relationships can be tough. It's even tougher when Death calls.
My the Good LORD comfort and bless you.
you have my sincerest condolences...
God bless you and your family...
God rest his soul...
He sounds like a very rugged (or stubborn) personality. He seemed to have taken adversity as a simple challenge to overcome on his own.
Thank you for telling us about him and yourself. I agree in addressing things early. We have a lot of good capability we can leverage all around us.
May God bless and guide you and your family through this time.
You are in my thoughts. May your father rest in eternal peace. God bless.
Prayers for you and your family.
I am sorry for your loss. So many emotions at the loss of a parent and the knowledge that once they are gone, nothing else can be said to them, no amends made. You and your family are in my prayers.
Sorry Wastedyears,Prayer for His Soul and His Family and Friends.((((Hugs))))
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