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Report: Tallying Votes Could Take Weeks Thanks To Common Core Counting Method
Babylon Bee ^ | 11/03/2020

Posted on 11/04/2020 6:59:28 AM PST by DFG

As America braces to hear the results of the 2020 election, some experts have stepped forward to say "not so fast!" According to election officials, counting all the ballots could take weeks thanks to the brand new Common Core math standards.

"Common Core has provided us a national framework for how to count things," said Florida election official Darla Dibbleton. "Unfortunately, it has required us to completely re-learn math. This is a nightmare. I don't even know what's true anymore. I can't even remember how to count to 10. Somebody help me!" Dibbleton then broke down sobbing in the middle of the polling center.

"I know this seems counterintuitive, but it's actually a really good thing," said one education expert from a gleaming tower where he lives. "You just have to trust us. We know what's best."

Election workers are furiously trying to get a crash course on Common Core math via Zoom classes with public school teachers so they can get counting. They hope to have final results within a month or two.


TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; commoncore; counting; election

1 posted on 11/04/2020 6:59:29 AM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

With Dimbulbcrats now counting ballots (and we know where that leads), we must remember that they only have ten digits on the arms and ten toes - so counts can only get to twenty.

CW-II. Only a matter of time.


2 posted on 11/04/2020 7:00:52 AM PST by Da Coyote
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To: DFG

I heard that Iowa Caucus counters were brought in.


3 posted on 11/04/2020 7:04:25 AM PST by Huskrrrr
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To: Huskrrrr

Have they finished tallying the Iowa Democrat Primary yet?


4 posted on 11/04/2020 7:19:41 AM PST by a fool in paradise (Joe Biden- "First thing I'd do is repeal those Trump tax cuts." (May 4th, 2019)l)
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To: DFG

I would wager most are currently too PO’d to laugh at this.


5 posted on 11/04/2020 7:25:18 AM PST by KobraKai
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To: a fool in paradise

Good question. :0)


6 posted on 11/04/2020 7:28:33 AM PST by Huskrrrr
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To: DFG

2 + 2 = 5


7 posted on 11/04/2020 7:43:26 AM PST by OrangeHoof ((tagline covered by PPE mask, shield and hazmat suit))
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To: Huskrrrr

I’m not really in the mood for this right now.


8 posted on 11/04/2020 8:17:04 AM PST by nikos1121
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