Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Biden Fall Blamed on ‘Climate Change’ [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 March 2021 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/20/2021 11:02:23 AM PDT by John Semmens

This week President Biden fell three times on the stairs leading up to Air Force One (AF1). White House deputy press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre blamed “climate change. Scientists have been warning that our failure to take climate change seriously would have serious consequences. Well, the nearly gale force winds that brought the President to his knees and almost knocked me down are a manifestation of the kind of threat we face.”

White House communications director Kate Bedingfield added, “I know folks have seen that President Biden slipped on his way up the stairs to AF1, but I’m happy to report that he is just fine and did not even require any attention from the medical team who travels with him. We were lucky this time. Next time we may not be. The President told me that he hopes this near tragedy will motivate Congress to pass the Green New Deal before it’s too late.”

Vice-President Harris pointed out that “there were similar incidents of near stumbles by Trump when he was president. Clearly, a pattern of increasingly dangerous weather fomented by fossil fuels is imperiling all of us. If Congress does not adequately address this crisis before President Biden is killed or severely injured, I will issue an executive order to implement the needed reforms to combat this global threat.”

According to the National Weather Service, winds at the site of AF1’s departure were 20 miles per hour with gusts up to 25 mph. The wind did not prevent the President’s plane from taking him to Atlanta so he might personally persuade Robert Long, the man arrested for killing eight salon workers, that he is a racist. “His claim that he did it to save himself from a sex addiction makes no sense,” Biden is said to have told his handlers. “I myself have found it hard to resist my urge to touch and sniff young women and girls, but I’ve never thought of killing them to save myself from this addiction. Since the majority of Long’s victims were persons of Asian descent a much more logical explanation for his murder spree was Trump’s blaming China for the COVID virus.”

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://ourrendezvouswithdestiny.wordpress.com/2021/03/20/biden-fall-blamed-on-climate-change/


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Weather
KEYWORDS: biden; racism; satire; sexaddiction

1 posted on 03/20/2021 11:02:23 AM PDT by John Semmens
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Also, all those earthquakes lately and the Iceland volcano made this happen. The Earth was swaying back and forth but Biden was walking straight ahead on the steps. Stop the Earth from moving and he’s fine.

Sort of like the Dean Martin joke: “I’ve been told by a doctor my body’s metabolism causes me to love and crave alcohol. I’m fine. My body’s a drunk.”

Also Frank Sinatra’s quote from old friend: If you can lie on the floor and not fall down it means you aren’t drunk yet.


2 posted on 03/20/2021 11:26:16 AM PDT by frank ballenger (End vote fraud, harvesting,non-citizen voting & leftist media news censorship or we are finished.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Yes. It caused the stairs to warp thereby tripping up Joe.


3 posted on 03/20/2021 11:35:42 AM PDT by SkyDancer (Remember Ashli Babbitt!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SkyDancer

I guarantee he was trying to run up the stairs to show how fit he is. They probably had press releases all ready to go and then .......


4 posted on 03/20/2021 11:47:15 AM PDT by pas
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: pas

One of my old buddies was a hockey player.
Whenever he tripped, he’d always say “penny on the ice”
I guess in the old days kids would heat up a penny with a lighter and toss it on the rink and watch it melt into the ice.


5 posted on 03/20/2021 11:51:27 AM PDT by nascarnation
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: pas

Fell three times - LOL


6 posted on 03/20/2021 11:56:20 AM PDT by SkyDancer (Remember Ashli Babbitt!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
...Karine Jean-Pierre blamed “climate change.

No, it has to be "white supremacy". Or "systemic racism". Or "white privilege".

7 posted on 03/20/2021 12:33:15 PM PDT by sima_yi ( Reporting live from the far North)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson