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Fauci Denies ‘Deliberately’ Suppressing Lab Leak Theory [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 20 June 2021 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/19/2021 11:33:52 AM PDT by John Semmens

Dr. Anthony Fauci denied that he deliberately suppressed the idea that the coronavirus could have leaked from the Wuhan lab that was experimenting on ways to enhance a bat virus to make it a more deadly pathogen that could be used to infect humans. “I would say my actions were more intuitively driven than consciously deliberate,” he contended. “If the Wuhan lab leak was revealed as the source of the pandemic I felt it would do irreparable harm to the scientific community. So, I came out strongly in favor of the natural mutation theory.”

Fauci went on to point out that “the vast majority of the suppressing was done by Twitter, Facebook, and others. It was there that rogue algorithms identified the lab leak theory as false and removed posts that purported to present evidence and arguments in support of this theory. I had no control over these entities. I was just an innocent bystander.”

“Personally, I was thinking the lab leak idea could be true, but I dared not say so for fear that I would be labeled a spreader of disinformation and fired from my job,” the Doctor said. “That would have left the nation without my essential guidance. There would have been no authoritative voice supporting continued lockdowns, social distancing, and mask wearing. People would have been left to make up their own minds and chaos would have been the result.”

“Now it doesn’t matter that the evidence that a lab leak was responsible is piling up because we have vaccines,” Fauci explained. “Whether the virus evolved naturally or was given a boost by Chinese scientists, everyone still needs to get vaccinated. It is encouraging to see that all those in government and the media are in agreement on this. On the one hand, many ‘carrots’–lottery tickets, cash payments, marijuana, liquor, etc.–are being offered to induce hesitaters to get the jab. On the other hand, various ‘sticks’–loss of employment, loss of access to public venues, and loss of liberty—are also working toward universal compliance. So, regardless of the zigs and zags in policy over the past year, we have achieved a remarkable advance in unity and obedience in this country. I take pride in my role in making this happen.”

In related news, Mariana Mazzucato, a professor at University College London, hailed the pandemic lockdowns as “a model for what we should do to combat global climate change. We’ve seen the sacrifices ordinary people willingly made to fight the COVID menace to their health. If we can frame the climate issue as one that directly threatens their health they’ll be begging for more lockdowns. The resulting decline in consumption, production, travel and other nonessential human activities will move us away from senseless luxury and back toward the subsistence mode of living that prevailed before capitalism transformed the world.”

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://libertyusa21.wordpress.com/2021/06/19/fauci-denies-deliberately-suppressing-lab-leak-theory/


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: carrots; censorship; fauci; fluci; leak; lockdowns; satire; sticks; vaccines; wuhanlableak

1 posted on 06/19/2021 11:33:52 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

It’s not a cover-up if no one finds out about it.


2 posted on 06/19/2021 1:13:53 PM PDT by AndyJackson
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To: John Semmens

Boy oh boy!

We’re sure not seeing a lot of Dr. Fauci on TV anymore these days

Are we kids?

This guy needs to be hung from a crane in Times Square after somebody gets up there and reads all of his evil deeds , and why they’re doing it

Sorry to be so Iranian mullah about it - but that’s the way I feel at this point


3 posted on 06/19/2021 4:41:22 PM PDT by Truthoverpower (Arizona !!!! Now the TRUMP TRAIN is getting back on TRACK ! TRUTH! FREEDOM ! LIBERTY! )
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To: John Semmens

fauxi deliberately ignores the dangers of biden opening our border during a so called “global pandemic”...


4 posted on 06/19/2021 4:52:02 PM PDT by heavy metal (smiling improves your face value as well as making people wonder what the hell you're up to... 😁)
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