Posted on 09/04/2021 1:59:47 AM PDT by John Semmens
Fresh off its triumph of getting the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) to approve its comirnaty vaccine, Pfizer has announced its success in developing a cure for COVID.
Company spokesman Brad Lyman explained "while we have every confidence that comirnaty will prove invincible against the coronavirus we acknowledge that it may not be possible to vaccinate everyone as often as is needed to maintain immunity. Not wanting to leave the world without a back-up plan, we developed covicure. This oral medication comes in two versions covicure-H and covicure-I."
"Both of these drugs contain a proprietary blend of vitamins B, C & D, zinc, lactoferrin, melatonin, N-acetyl cysteine (NAC), quercetin, and an alternate secret ingredient—one called 'H' and the other called 'I,'" Lyman said. "Numerous trials of these substances over the past year-and-a-half have demonstrated a very high success rate against the virus. We're now taking the next logical step of patenting our special blends, which we feel will quickly achieve FDA approval."
The company estimated that once these products hit the market a two-week course of treatment can be provided at a cost of $5,000 per patient—an amount that Lyman called "very reasonable considering there are no other effective approved alternatives for the treatment of this deadly disease."
In related news, the American Medical Association, American Pharmacists Association, and American Society of Health-System Pharmacists called for an immediate end to ordering, prescribing, or dispensing ivermectin to prevent or treat COVID-19. The group labeled the numerous reports of the success of this drug in treating the virus in various places including India, Africa, and Peru "anecdotal" and "not compatible with the far more sophisticated medical knowledge and practice in the United States."
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ping
Clever satire.
Wouldn’t it be nice if drug companies tried to cure again.
The giverment allows the people people to free range with our money in the also furnished pockets. Most any kind of sustenance that they wish to purchase is theirs, barring obvious self exclusion of country music and country food , what’s good for them.This has caused the term food desert to be used in horror for these areas and it’s not that these areas can’t get the fruits and vegetables to sell it’s that they won’t buy it if it’s there. Supply and Deeemand baby!
Now this is good ¿? Our? Government is now…..
Announcing a free (for some) vitamin pill to keep you safe and well during the never ending wuhan induced Chinese biological attack continuation adinfinitum
You really are “what you eat” but more so you are what eats you
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