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White House Blames Formula Shortage On That Giant Baby From 'Honey, I Blew Up The Kid'
Babylon Bee ^ | 05/17/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/17/2022 11:21:46 AM PDT by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Updating the press on the baby formula shortage that's affecting millions of American families, Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre (black, gay, immigrant) stated that all blame for the shortage rested squarely on the curly locks of the giant baby from Honey, I Blew Up The Kid.

Jean-Pierre (black, gay, immigrant) said the crisis had nothing to do with Biden's list of perfect policies, but occurred because a baby grew to the size of a skyscraper after Pete Buttigieg's experimental Chest-Milk-O-Matic™ machine malfunctioned, firing a stray embiggening gamma beam into the child's bedroom.

"The oversized baby has been toddling around the countryside, laying waste to baby formula factories and gulping down silos of the stuff," said Jean-Pierre (black, gay, immigrant) in front of a strategic map tracking the child's Enfamil®-fueled rampage. "The U.S. military, using a trap designed to look like a giant cupboard filled with pots and pans, hopes to catch the child and shrink him back to normal with the help of legendary scientist, Rick Moranis."

Sources say plans for the cupboard trap failed, however, as the four branches of the military were unable to memorize one another's pronouns, throwing the project into gridlock. The gigantic toddler was last seen barreling toward the U.S/Mexico border where there is plenty of baby formula.

*Karine Jean-Pierre is a black, gay immigrant.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babyformula; babylonbee; black; gay; immigrant

1 posted on 05/17/2022 11:21:46 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG
black, gay, immigrant

That is a very nice touch BB

2 posted on 05/17/2022 11:34:16 AM PDT by dearolddad
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To: DFG
" the four branches of the military were unable to memorize one another's pronouns,

ROFLMAO ... until we are in a war, not just providing weapons, then we're in trouble.

3 posted on 05/17/2022 11:57:15 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: DFG

Read the headline quickly and reacted accordingly. Then saw BB and realized I had been had again.


4 posted on 05/17/2022 12:16:47 PM PDT by dirtymac ( Now Is The Time For All Good Men To ComeTo The Aid Of Their Country! NOW)
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To: dirtymac
Then saw BB and realized I had been had again.

Wait...they actually HAD you for a second with the headline: White House Blames Formula Shortage On That Giant Baby From 'Honey, I Blew Up The Kid'? LOL! Wow. They ARE good.
5 posted on 05/17/2022 12:19:23 PM PDT by mmichaels1970
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To: DFG

And Xao Bai-Dung stole the formula and drank it while stroking the giant baby’s hair and sniffing deep into the left ear. He kept mumbling “show me the toes, show me the damn toes you racists!”


6 posted on 05/17/2022 12:31:55 PM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: dearolddad
Karine Jean-Pierre (black, gay, immigrant)

LOL! Over and over again...

7 posted on 05/17/2022 12:45:20 PM PDT by Sirius Lee (They intend to murder us. Prep if you want to live and live like you are prepping for eternal life)
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To: DFG

“plans for the cupboard trap failed, however, as the four branches of the military were unable to memorize one another’s pronouns, throwing the project into gridlock.”


8 posted on 05/17/2022 2:11:28 PM PDT by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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To: DFG

There is something awfully wrong about this, another Biden screwup. We do not yet know what it is but that is America’s media burying it. The fact that he is ferrying it to the southern border certainly does not help the situation. But then what does anything Biden does ever solve a problem? But there is more to this than just that.


9 posted on 05/17/2022 2:39:19 PM PDT by maxwellsmart_agent
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To: mmichaels1970

Yes! it sounds just like something Joe Biden would say-thin-believe.


10 posted on 05/17/2022 5:56:52 PM PDT by dirtymac ( Now Is The Time For All Good Men To ComeTo The Aid Of Their Country! NOW)
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