Environment Protesters Complain [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 23 October 2022 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

In a demonstration against gasoline-powered cars, nine protesters glued themselves to the floor at the Porsche pavilion in the Autostadt museum in Wolfsburg, Germany. Spokesperson for the protesters Gianluca Grimalda denounced Volkswagen (VW), "they said they supported us, but they have failed to provide bowls for us to urinate and defecate into a decent manner while we're glued to the floor. They have also turned off the heat when the museum closes for the night. It is a crime against humanity."

A spokesman for VW clarified the "support" issue. "We support their right to freedom of speech and assembly," he said. "No one impeded them assembling in the museum and voicing their opinions. Overlooking the consequences of foolishly gluing themselves to the floor is not our responsibility. The ones who planned the protest should not demand that others bear the blame for the discomforts they have brought upon themselves. The need to excrete and stay warm after-hours were foreseeable events. The failure to provide for these contingencies undermines the credibility of their proclaimed environmental solutions."

"The group's call for 'decarbonization' and 'degrowth' will inevitably force much of the world's population to endure increasing discomfort and deprivation," the VW spokesman pointed out. "Perhaps the unpleasantness of their ordeal at the museum might inspire them to reconsider whether there might be saner ways to deal with climate change."

In related news, the city government of San Francisco has authorized the expenditure of $1.7 million to construct a ten-by-fifteen foot, single commode lavatory at the Noe Valley Town Square. The $1.7 million price tag is about the same price of a single-family home in the city. Construction is expected to be completed in 2025. Assemblyman Matt Haney (D-San Francisco) boasted "the need to urinate and defecate on the streets of this neighborhood will be eliminated in less than three years. That's lightning quick for a project this complex. I hope voters will show their appreciation by voting Democrat in November."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/334372-2022-10-22-semi-news-semi-satire-october-23-2022-edition.htm

[John Semmens]

ping

[Mark17]

🤪👍

[dynachrome]

Should have fed them beans, cabbage, and broccoli, with prune juice to drink.

[MAGAthon]

nothing funny about the following figures. they should be common knowledge everywhere.
quote is from a CNBC interview, video (2m15s) and transcript included:

21 Oct: Climate Depot: Marc Morano: Goldman Sachs’ Jeff Currie: ‘$3.8 Trillion of Investment in Renewables Moved Fossil Fuels from 82% to 81% of Overall Energy Consumption’ in 10 Years
Economist Jeff Currie of Goldman Sachs (Global Head of Commodities Research in the Global Investment Research Division): “Here’s a stat for you, as of January of this year. At the end of last year, overall, fossil fuels represented 81 percent of overall energy consumption. Ten years ago, they were at 82. So though, all of that investment in renewables, you’re talking about 3.8 trillion, let me repeat that $3.8 trillion of investment in renewables moved fossil fuel consumption from 82 to 81 percent, of the overall energy consumption. But you know, given the recent events and what’s happened with the loss of gas and replacing it with coal, that number is likely above 82.” ... The net of it is clearly we haven’t made any progress.”
CNBC TRANSCRIPT...READ ON
https://www.climatedepot.com/2022/10/21/goldman-sachs-jeff-currie-3-8-trillion-of-investment-in-renewables-moved-fossil-fuels-from-82-to-81-of-overall-energy-consumption-in-10-years/

[oldtech]

They might want to explain the differences between “supporting” & “coddling/catering” to the demonstrators. Anybody stupid enough to glue themselves to a floor deserves to stew in their own juices.

[GranTorino]

Nice.