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NYC Subway Hero Arrested [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 May 2023 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/16/2023 12:09:45 PM PDT by John Semmens

Daniel Penny, the former Marine who subdued Jordan Neely--the man who was terrorizing riders on a New York City subway--was arrested on a charge of manslaughter and could be sentenced to 15 years in prison if convicted.

Neely had previously been arrested 42 times by NYC police. Three of these arrests were for assaults on women in the subway. In the most recent incident he was pacing up and down a subway car shouting that he wanted to get arrested and would kill someone if that was what it took to accomplish this end. Several people, including Penny--who put him in a choke hold--restrained him. Neely later died.

At first, Penny was neither arrested or charged with any crime, but after a little encouragement from Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) who called Penny "a vigilante and murderer" and Mayor Eric Adams who declared "one of our own is dead, a Black man, Black like me, a man named Jordan, a name I gave my son," --Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg decided to bring charges.

"Jordan Neely is exactly the type of person our state's criminal reform was intended to protect," Bragg said. "He's Black, crazy, and a repeat offender. His assailant is white, nauseatingly polite, and concerned about the safety of women and children. His kind have had their way with the world for too long. It's time they get a taste of what it is like to be abused by the system. A stretch in the state pen will give him a criminal record that will wreck the rest of his life. It is my job to make that happen."

In related news, homeless veterans are being evicted from NY hotels to make room for the illegal migrants expected to be bused into the state as part of the Biden Administration's plan to redistribute the surge of southern border-crossers. Presidential Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre explained "the President is prepared to use whatever measures he deems necessary to achieve his goal of welcoming as many newcomers to the United States as we can. This is also one of the reasons why the federal debt limit must be raised without conditions. Access to the trillions of dollars that will be needed to meet this goal must be completely unfettered."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,499548.0.html


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Military/Veterans; Politics
KEYWORDS: crime; democrats; lunatics; satire

1 posted on 05/16/2023 12:09:45 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
You know what's the real parody?

That France gave the Legion of Honour award to two American soldiers who stopped a gunman on a train back in 2015, but a former soldier who stopped a violent man on a New York City subway got a manslaughter charge.

-PJ

2 posted on 05/16/2023 12:13:43 PM PDT by Political Junkie Too ( * LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
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To: John Semmens
It's time they get a taste of what it is like to be abused by the system.

Does this qualify as reparations?

3 posted on 05/16/2023 12:15:01 PM PDT by immadashell (Save Innocent Lives: Ban Gun Free Zones)
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To: immadashell

“Does this qualify as reparations?”

Yes—in the minds of these tyrannical maniacs.


4 posted on 05/16/2023 12:57:00 PM PDT by John Semmens
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