Are You At A Nursing Home Or The U.S. Senate Chamber? 9 Clues To Look For

Babylon Bee ^ | Babylon Bee

[DFG]

There you are, sitting across from an elderly, demented man drooling on his oatmeal, when suddenly you begin to wonder: Am I in a nursing home, or in the chambers of the United States Senate?? To help you solve the mystery, look for these nine helpful differences:

1. Nursing Home: Residents call out "Bingo!" to win money Senate: Residents call out "Aye!" to spend your money

2.Nursing Home: Costs $10,000 per resident per month Senate: Costs $10 billion per resident per second

3. Nursing Home: Residents alert a nurse when they've soiled themselves Senate: Residents wave to camera as if nothing happened when they've soiled themselves

4.Nursing Home: Surprisingly, plagued by STDs Senate: Not surprisingly, plagued by STDs

5.Nursing Home: Aides tell residents which domino to play Senate: Aides tell residents which country to invade

6. Nursing Home: Pudding and smoothies in the cafeteria at 4 Senate: Pudding, adrenochrome, and roasted flies in the cafeteria at 4

7.Nursing Home: Smells of death and fecal matter Senate: Same, if the President stops by

8. Nursing Home: A bunch of old, angry people yelling about missing Matlock Senate: A bunch of old, angry people yelling about missing Matlock

9. Nursing Home: Residents all still alive Senate: Residents were all, at some point, alive

It takes a keen eye to spot the differences - let us know any that we missed!

[Sacajaweau]

Read the headline twice...smiled...then laughed...then looked to see who could possibly write a piece like this. Clue....Bzzzzzzz

[Mazey]

Thank you!

[ChessExpert]

Many funny lines.

I had to look up “adrenochrome” as I never heard of it after decades of frequent visits to conservative sites. I learned that multiple leftist sites are obsessed over claimed right-wing discussion of the subject. I can only imagine how many liberals think adrenochrome is a “thing” with conservatives. Clearly it is not.

[FNU LNU]

I’m at a nursing home, but the vast majority of the 120 people here are in better shape than Biden, McConnell, and Feinstein.

[rlmorel]

Effing brilliant!

[rovenstinez]

What is the average age when you sum up all the Senators.. Now sum up the age of the people who signed the Declaration of Independence.

[crusty old prospector]

Bless you.

[BitWielder1]

The majority of congress and senate critters should be in either nursing homes, mental institutions or prison.
They should not be in a position where they can make laws for the rest of us.

Term limits, public criminal records, weekly random drug tests and yearly civics and competence tests would be a great start.