Posted on 11/28/2023 2:40:10 PM PST by DFG
BURBANK, CA — In what the United States Government hopes will be the start of a long and fruitful partnership, The Walt Disney Company has been awarded a lucrative Department of Defense contract after overtaking Lockheed Martin in the production of bombs.
"This is a momentous day for our company," said Disney CEO Bob Iger. "We now have a useful channel to funnel our bomb-making efforts. Though the fact that we have been producing bombs of immense scale for the last decade has previously only resulted in losing hundreds of millions of dollars, we can now actually make money with our bombs."
After awarding large defense contracts to industry mainstays like Lockheed Martin, Raytheon, Northrop Grumman, and Honeywell, officials within the Pentagon were shocked and impressed to discover the long line of devastating bombs produced by Disney in recent years. "We thought we knew where to find the biggest bombs," said Gen. Richard Thornbody. "When we saw the trail of destruction Disney has been leaving in its wake with these bombs, we knew we had to forge a relationship with them."
Whereas Disney had been desperately looking for ways to stop making bombs, this government contract will serve as a new beginning for the House of Mouse. "We were all feeling the heat," Iger said. "Now, we can stop worrying about how to fix things and go back to focusing on cranking out bomb after bomb after bomb."
At publishing time, with tensions increasing overseas with Russia, China, and in the Middle East, the Pentagon was eagerly awaiting the release of the live-action remake of Snow White, which insiders speculate may be Disney's biggest bomb yet.
HILARIOUS!
Disney should send their bombs to Ukrania
“When we mentioned that our last bomb cost $300 million the Department of Defense said ‘You’re in our league now, boy!’”
LOL———At publishing time, with tensions increasing overseas, the Pentagon was eagerly awaiting the Disney release of its CGI-live-action remake of Snow White, which insiders speculate may be Disney’s biggest bomb yet.
Now that’s FUNNY. I don’t care who you are.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
that’s gold Jerry, GOLD!
😂😂😂👍
“Disney Awarded Defense Contract After Producing More Bombs Than Lockheed Martin”
Considering what the DOD has become, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if Disney is getting some BIG CONTRACTS due to their ‘woke’ bombs. Maybe stuff like simulators (or stimulators, not sure with this bunch) for military hardware.
Reminds me of fifty three years ago when Nixon was bombing North Vietnam and NBC was making TV shows that failed.
In a LAUGH IN joke the newsman looked at the future and said he foresaw future US President Goldie Hawn asking NBC to stop the bombing! Huge amounts of laughter from the audience.
I guess if he had looked farther he would be asking Disney to stop the bombing.
Now That’s Funny!
Now that’s FUNNY!!! Eat your heart out CNN, scooped again
I love the Babylon Bee!
Their work is just priceless.
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