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Shall we pants? (Pantsing "Lord of the Rings" and other Oscar Winners)
The Oregonian ^
| 2/27/2004
Posted on 02/27/2004 3:00:34 PM PST by SAMWolf
Ever notice how famous lines from The Lord of the Rings trilogy become even more, uhhhh, precious if you substitute the word pants? Try it! Amaze your friends! And may the power of the pants be with you.
Come on, Sam. Remember what Bilbo used to say: Its a dangerous business Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you dont keep your pants, theres no knowing where you might be swept off to.
Frodo
Hey! Mr. Frodos not going anywhere without his pants.
Sam
Farmir: What did they steal from you?
Gollum: MY PANTS! Aaaah!
Three hundred lives of men I have walked this earth and now I have no pants.
Gandalf
The city is taken! Abandon your pants! Run for your lives!
Denethor
Aragorn: If by life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my pants.
Legolas:
and you have my pants
Gimli:
and my pants
Boromir: You carry the pants of us all, little one.
The world has changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the pants.
Galdriel
Frodo: Nothing dampens your pants Sam.
Sam: Those rain clouds might.
I will not risk open pants!
Theoden
Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants.
Boromir
Theoden: So much death. What can a man do against so much reckless hate?
Aragorn: Ride out with me. Ride out and meet them.
Theoden: For death and glory.
Aragorn: For Rohan. For your pants.
A shadow and a threat have been growing in my pants.
Legolas
Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the pants.
Gandalf
Mr. Frodo, put some pants on, just this once.
Sam
On the lowest dungeon on top of the highest mounatin I fought with the Balrog of Morgoth
Until at last I threw down my pants and smote his ruin upon the mountain side.
Gandalf
Ive thought of an ending for my book: And he lived happily ever after
to the end of his pants.
Bilbo
TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous; Music/Entertainment; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: humor; lordoftherings; movies; oscars
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Recently we pointed out how famous lines from "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy become even more, uhhhh, precious if you substitute the word "pants" in the dialog. Now, with the Oscars coming up, we got to thinking, what about all those other award-winning films? Shouldn't they get the chance to pants? Of course they should! So now, without further ado, let's pants some Oscar winners!
Aye, fight and you may die. Run and you'll live...at least awhile. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade all of that from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take away our lives, but they'll never take our pants!
William Wallace in "Braveheart"
Hell of a thing, pantsin' a man.
William Munny in "Unforgiven"
A census taker once tried to pants me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
Hannibal Lecter in "Silence of the Lambs"
I stick my pants out for nobody.
Rick in "Casablanca"
Michael Corleone: You heard what happened in my pants?
Frank Pentangeli: Mike, I almost died myself. We was all so relieved.
Michael: In my pants!
"The Godfather, Part II"
No pants! No pants!
T.E. Lawrence, riding into battle in "Lawrence of Arabia"
You don't understand. I coulda had pants. I coulda been a contender.
Terry Malloy in "On the Waterfront"
Fasten your pants, it's going to be a bumpy night.
Margo Channing in "All About Eve"
There happens to be a lot about me that you don't know, Mr. Smarty Man. There's plenty of joy in my pants.
Carolyn Burnham in "American Beauty"
Dances With Wolves, I am Wind In His Pants. Do you see that I am your friend?
Wind In His Hair in "Dances With Wolves"
There are many things my father taught me here in this room. He taught me: Keep your friends close, but your pants closer.
Michael in "The Godfather, Part II"
My dear Ricky, you overestimate the influence of the Gestapo. I don't interfere with them and they don't interfere with me. In Casablanca, I am master of my pants!
Captain Renault in "Casablanca"
1
posted on
02/27/2004 3:00:35 PM PST
by
SAMWolf
To: snippy_about_it; Samwise; Darksheare
Some Weekend humor. "Pants" Your favorite movie lines.
President Merkin Muffley: General Turgidson, I find this very difficult to understand. I was under the impression that I was the only one in authority to order the use of nuclear weapons.
General "Buck" Turgidson: That's right, sir, you are the only person authorized to do so. And although I, uh, hate to judge before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like, uh, General Ripper exceeded his pants.
Dr. Strangelove
I say we take off and pants the entire site from orbit. That's the only way to be sure.
Ellen Ripley, Aliens
2
posted on
02/27/2004 3:01:18 PM PST
by
SAMWolf
(I even have boring dreams...I fall asleep in my sleep!)
To: SAMWolf
A shadow and a threat have been growing in my pants.
Legolas
He shouldn't have had the supreme bean burrito..
Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the pants.
Gandalf
Scared them something fierce it seems..
Mr. Frodo, put some pants on, just this once.
Sam
Frodo was gettin' kinda weird under the influence of the Ring...
On the lowest dungeon on top of the highest mounatin I fought with the Balrog of Morgoth
Until at last I threw down my pants and smote his ruin upon the mountain side.
Gandalf
Gandalf mooned the Balrog and broke wind to kill him?
Ive thought of an ending for my book: And he lived happily ever after
to the end of his pants.
Bilbo
Without patching them, that may not be too long.
3
posted on
02/27/2004 3:10:40 PM PST
by
Darksheare
(Fortune for today: The Goldfish have it out to do you in.)
To: SAMWolf
Oh goodie, weekend fun!
"Fasten your pants, kids, it's going to be a bumpy night."
Bette Davis, All About Eve (1950)
4
posted on
02/27/2004 3:10:48 PM PST
by
snippy_about_it
(Fall in --> The FReeper Foxhole. America's History. America's Soul.)
To: SAMWolf
"Of all the pants in all the towns in all the world she walks into mine."
5
posted on
02/27/2004 3:13:29 PM PST
by
snippy_about_it
(Fall in --> The FReeper Foxhole. America's History. America's Soul.)
To: SAMWolf
"I remember every detail. The Germans wore pants, you wore blue."
6
posted on
02/27/2004 3:14:48 PM PST
by
snippy_about_it
(Fall in --> The FReeper Foxhole. America's History. America's Soul.)
To: SAMWolf
"Pants it, Sam. Pants 'As TimeGoes By.'"
Sorry SAMWolf, the gist of this seems to have escaped my limited understanding.
7
posted on
02/27/2004 3:16:03 PM PST
by
Argh
To: SAMWolf
Senor Ferrari (Sydney Greenstreet):
"It would be a miracle for you to get out of Casablanca and the Germans have outlawed pants."
Capt. Louis Renault (Claude Rains):
"How extravagant you are throwing away pants like that. Someday they may be scarce."
8
posted on
02/27/2004 3:17:12 PM PST
by
snippy_about_it
(Fall in --> The FReeper Foxhole. America's History. America's Soul.)
To: snippy_about_it
"Use the pants, Luke"
Obi_wan-kanobe, Star Wars "Ancient pants and an hokey religion are no subsitute for a good blaster at your side."
Han Solo, Star Wars
9
posted on
02/27/2004 3:17:35 PM PST
by
SAMWolf
(I even have boring dreams...I fall asleep in my sleep!)
To: SAMWolf
Ask not what your pants can do for you, ask what you can do for your pants.
10
posted on
02/27/2004 3:19:45 PM PST
by
irishtenor
("Trying is the first step toward failure." - Homer Simpson)
To: SAMWolf
Boss:You thought about everything
Charley Waite: yeah, everything except the part where we don't get pantsed
Open Range
11
posted on
02/27/2004 3:21:38 PM PST
by
SAMWolf
(I even have boring dreams...I fall asleep in my sleep!)
To: SAMWolf
Well, there it would be "Use your shorts, Luke"
"Heh-heh.. I can't Heh-heh-heh-heh..I'm wearing them."
12
posted on
02/27/2004 3:33:05 PM PST
by
Darksheare
(Fortune for today: The Goldfish have it out to do you in.)
To: SAMWolf
"Tell me the Starpants co-ordinates!" - Apophos in Starpants SG-1
13
posted on
02/27/2004 3:34:13 PM PST
by
Darksheare
(Fortune for today: The Goldfish have it out to do you in.)
To: SAMWolf
ROFLMAO...I laughed so hard I've gone and peed in my...just kidding...
14
posted on
02/27/2004 3:38:24 PM PST
by
grellis
(Che cosa ha mangiato?)
To: SAMWolf
"Pants? We ain't got no pants. We don't need no pants. I don't have to show you any stinking pants!"
To: SAMWolf
"They had no business pantsing the Giggler."
- Escape From New York
16
posted on
02/27/2004 3:43:33 PM PST
by
sharktrager
(The last rebel without a cause in a world full of causes without a rebel.)
To: SAMWolf
"I love the smell of pants in the morning."
- Apocalypse Now
17
posted on
02/27/2004 3:45:18 PM PST
by
sharktrager
(The last rebel without a cause in a world full of causes without a rebel.)
To: SAMWolf
"A long time ago, in pants far far away..."
-Star Wars
18
posted on
02/27/2004 3:48:20 PM PST
by
sharktrager
(The last rebel without a cause in a world full of causes without a rebel.)
To: Trinity_Tx
LOL! How could I miss that one!
I don't know nothin' bout pantsin' babies.
Butterfly McQueen as Prissy - Gone with the Wind
You should be pantsed and often and by someone who knows how.
Rhett Butler - Gone with the Wind
There was a land of Cavaliers and Cotton Fields called the Old South. Here in this pretty world, Gallantry took its last bow. Here was the last ever to be seen of Knights and their Ladies Fair, of Master and of Slave. Look for it only in books, for it is no more than a dream remembered, a Civilization gone with the pants...
19
posted on
02/27/2004 3:51:05 PM PST
by
SAMWolf
(I even have boring dreams...I fall asleep in my sleep!)
To: sharktrager
LOL! Good one!
20
posted on
02/27/2004 3:51:51 PM PST
by
SAMWolf
(I even have boring dreams...I fall asleep in my sleep!)
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