Skip to comments.Gays in Society: The Growing Clash
Posted on 03/26/2004 4:15:52 PM PST by joedownthestreet
By Roy Masters
The question of whether or not homosexuality is a matter of birth is an extremely sensitive subject. The topic invokes strong emotion and prejudice, no matter which side one takes. Like abortion, it seems to be one of Americas unsolvable problems. To understand the causes of homosexuality, a great deal of objectivity and compassion is required.
As with so many other forms of aberrant behavior, we are dealing with victims in denial; it is always who they are. The very concept of gay pride was, of course, an imitation of racial minorities call for ethnic pride in the 60s. However, the difference between the two is obvious to most Americans. One is simply a racial matter, while the other is behavioral. The problem is that the homosexual denial of their collective guilt has formed into a dangerous political power to convince the world that criticism of homosexuality is racist. To make that stick, they must monkey with our sanity by standing common sense on its head. They must convince the public that their condition is one of birth and that their inclinations have nothing to do with upbringing or moral choice.
The truth boils down to the difficulty of breaking free from their vice-like grip of buried trauma conditioning. Having not known any identity other than the one conditioned from birth, they are fierce loyalists to the implanted one.
Sickness and Denial
Rather than face the painful truth about their troubled childhood, homosexuals are drawn, just as their parents were, to the familiar tormenting natures of who originally caused their pain. Denial is the typical defense for all sins, because when we are wrong it is the very first impulse that awakens.
The entire gay movement is waging a dangerous cultural war that will have disastrous consequences. Such unhealthy support groups proliferate and confound the youth while exploiting their members with false compassion. Troubled individuals are cannon fodder, getting nothing but enslaving compassion and rationalizations as cures. These organizations are endeavoring to conquer their collective guilt by way of demoralizing the youth. Better to upset the socio-political structure and change how the world sees them rather than face their deformed selves.
The average person is unaware of the depth and breadth that childhood traumas have on their adult behavior. Never underestimate the range of effects parents have on their children, and exponentially, their childrens children. If we take a moment to think about it, we can all remember how vulnerable we were, surrounded by a towering crushing adult world. Our parents were our gods; they represented the only protection against a confusing and dangerous world. Alas, that betrayal has caused the downfall of every civilization.
When dealing with any trauma, it is important to understand that it is a scientific, repeatable phenomenon calledConditioned Reflex Response, discovered and made famous by the Russian psychologist, Ivan Pavlov. In Pavlovs groundbreaking experiment, a dog learns to associate the ringing of a bell with food; soon he salivates at the sound even when there is no food present. As in Pavlovs experiments, the homosexuals compulsive behavior becomes a lifestyle. Deploying this lifestyle against the nuclear family will bring down any free nation.
For this reason we should all compare our own compulsive behaviors with homosexual family conditioning.
There is one basic cause for most all inhuman suffering, just different suggestions and circumstances introduced through the cruelty of trauma. Since all of us have these experiences, manifesting in odd ways, then perhaps just seeing that might help us to have compassion for the homosexuals dilemma.
In many years of counseling, I have dealt with countless family situations conforming to the following example:
Two boys are born into a dysfunctional family, composed of a cruel, confusing mother, and a brutal father (perhaps an alcoholic) who is rarely at home. Mothers resentment toward the father is unloaded on these boys. Her unconscious hatred of men, beginning with her alcoholic father, projects and traumatizes both sons. Because of their different character dispositions, the stronger one rebels from her control, while the weaker conforms. Both boys, traumatized in the extreme, can no longer live from the identities with which they were born.
Fathers and Sons
Homosexuality is a developmental problem that is usually the result of problems in family relations, particularly between father and son. Because of failure with father, the boy does not fully internalize male gender-identity and develops homosexually. This is the most commonly seen clinical model.
Joseph Nicolosi, Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality, 1991.
There are many types of family dysfunctional disorders. One of them is overt homosexuality. The other extreme from the same maternal presence, manifests as machismo, a false masculinity--- actually a compensation for feelings of vulnerability and latent femininity. One brother becomes effeminate while the other grows up to be the average, culturally normal, but angry man.
Beneath the surface, both boys will carry a great deal of resentment unconsciously assuming the passive or aggressive identities of one or the other parent.
Mothers effect on her rebellious son makes him side with his errant father. In such an emotional state, where common sense goes out of the window and theres more heat than light, there are only two lifestyle options available; rebel against your father and join your motheror rebel against your mother and side with your father. Both are abnormal choices.
So one errant son, sides with his angry father rather than take on the identity of his mother the way his effeminate brother did. Again, just as his weak brother imbibed a false femininity, so the rebel ingests a false masculinity. The macho brother brings forth the various traits of his father by imitation perhaps his father lifts weights, drinks and talks tough. This bogus identity is also adopted as being who he is.
The question is, why would he, or anyone, continue in denial. The answer is that they do not know that they are! That is why no one ever succeeds in his or her rebellion, instead, like it or not, they tend to transmogrify imperceptibly into the likeness of what they hate. The reason for this is simple; you cannot hate without feeling guilt and you especially cannot hate your parents without guilt. The guilt is unconsciously relieved through bonding with, or running from, the hate object and then bonding with compassionate friends.
The macho son is escaping the pursuing shame of seeing what he has secretly become at the hands of his willful mother. The childhood bonding has affected him more than he can ever admit. Clinically, the rule of thumb is, reject your father and, no matter what, you will become overly influenced by mother and then women.
Sadly, so many young boys are losing their grip on their masculinity as well as the carefree American way. Simply, it is the mothers instinctive responsibility to nurture the children, to protect them from the harsh realities of the world that they are too young to face. On the other hand, the fathers intuitive responsibility is to bring the children into the reality of the world, to save them from being smothered, weak and spoiled.
Mother should be earthy and compassionate; father, a kindly no-nonsense type with a gentle, firm, no-nonsense masculine touch. Without dads modifying love, the child is in danger of becoming ruined, immorally wild and anti-social. If the child becomes more interested in comfort than in challenge, more interested in rights than in responsibility, he will soon become part of the mob needing a dictator in one form or another to govern him, his capacity for self-governance having been feminized and displaced. This is how all nations fall.
Lack of Balance
Without that noble father figure, the macho, hard-drinking son runs away (through women) from realizing that he is reinforcing that feminine core. Mothering women nurture the implanted gestating feminine seed. Still tied to women, lovers perpetuate the ruination of manhood, eating away at the facade of machismo.
More directly mired to his mothers will is the appeasing effeminate son. Since he is the extension of her personality, he is under a compulsion to validate his mothers identity in him by re-immersing himself in her approval. This is the classic denial process; we all tend to reaffirm the wrong in us by identifying with the very type of people who corrupted us. Here, mother and son are usually very close. This son is one of two types; if he retains his male behavior, he will be a weak and ineffective father, a womanizer and a mother of a husband to some unfortunate wife − or else he will become an outright homosexual. Emasculating women embrace their own identities lurking in all effeminate men made over in the image of females even voting them into office.
The rebel and the conformist are both victims.
The reason why most parents treat their offspring so shamefully is they tend to act out what was done to them. Oblivious of their past and living in denial they continue the family legacy as corruptors of the innocent.
Homosexual groups have always claimed that there are two distinct types of homosexuals, one actual and one latent. As I said before, some men transform more directly into the female.
The rebel can also become a homosexual through a longer struggle of denying his feminine nature through an excess of female pleasures. A married man can go to bed one night crowing like a proud rooster and awaken one morning cackling like a hen. The identity metamorphism once completed, breaks through the facade of machismo and all at once, he begins to think and feel like a woman and then looks at men through a womens eyes.
Child Abuse and Lesbianism
There are special needs that little girls have that make them unique. When those needs are denied, ignored, or exploited, the future womanhood of that child is in jeopardy.
Just how are those needs denied, ignored, or exploited? Abuse can be overt, as in physical or sexual abuse, or it may be more subtle. Of course, its more subtle versions wouldnt legally qualify as child abuse, but they are forms of abuse nonetheless, and they have far-reaching consequences. One of those consequences is a distorted sexual identity. I have seen, time and again, clear connections between early abuse and confusion in sexuality. And I cannot ignore the histories of the many women Ive known who have survived one form of abuse or another and are also attracted to other women. Although abuse by itself does not cause lesbianism, it can certainly be found in the background of many lesbian women and has in many cases been a contributing factor to their orientation.
Carol Ahrens in Desires in Conflict, 1991.
Driven by rage denial, the rebel goes on to lose himself in machismo behavior, boxing, bodybuilding in a vain attempt to deny the implanted gestating feminine. He is now bound to conquer his woman-fixation and fears with anger. The incidence of rape-rage fulfillment has risen staggeringly. High school boys readily admit that they would rape (sex as conquest instead of slavery) if they knew they wouldnt be caught.
The trouble is that a man rarely comes back in marriage as a real man independent and ready to lead. Rather, he comes back to the woman as a little boy needing his mom. In spite of all the nurturing illusions of becoming more of a man in control, he experiences nothing but emasculation, just like his brother and father. Sensing the loss of masculinity can throw him into fits of violence and verbal or physical abuse. Then he runs and hides, drinking and hanging out with the boys.
As moths to a flame are men drawn to women just like those who helped shape their fathers. If, as I said, the process continues to completion, dad wakens one morning with a feminine identity emerging from the chrysalis of machismo that can no longer contain it.
The female nature and spirit eventually breaks through all compensations. That is why we so often see muscle-bound, athletic men become homosexuals, long after apparently normal relationships with women. The machismo compensator is addicted to an angry life of denying the implanted femininity.
Some enjoy apparent success for many years, only to awaken one day as a full-fledged homosexual. At that time he ceases resisting the forces working within him and does an about-face. The rebel, who formally loathed his feminine nature, now becomes its cheerleader. At that point, of course, the gay rights organizations rush in to glory in the poor fellows awakening.
There it is in a nutshell-- hurters and rescuers. The violator -- the abusive or weak parent and all those compassionate supporters, are the same in principle and in spirit. Therein lies the terrible danger concerning the treacherous motives of allcompassionate nurturers.
The imbalance of too much mothering and not enough real fathering did both sons in. Millions of abused and neglected sons, who are not homosexuals, live out their entire lives in deep conflict and torment, with difficult relationships with their wives. At times, they commit violence against women as a way of getting even with their mothers for their enslaving embraces. Off they go swinging like monkeys by their prehensile tails from one bed to another, never able to commit to a marital relationship based on respect and loyalty because they fear the loving control.
Problems with Masculinity
As far back as a December 4, 1989 Time magazine cover article, Onward Women, the reporter made a startling admission: Already, there are numerous signs that male attitudes and values are becoming feminized, though most men might reject that description.
She was right, of course on two counts. Men have become more feminized, especially the younger ones, and most menwould object to that description because it hits too close to home. The chilling thing is that the Time reporter meant it positively.
Our nation is in great trouble for the lack of enlightened fathers. Where there is no real father, a weak or violent one, or none at all, the mother inevitably fills the void. Thus, when identity springs dominantly from the female, it results in terrible conflicts for boys and problems for women.
If, as a nation, we can get fathers to understand this, we can return the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers where they belong. Women will no longer have to shoulder the burden of raising children alone. With the well-balanced American family unit back together again, the feminization of America will end. Families can become strong and loving again, and the country can head off its inevitable downfall.
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Interestingly, some of what he says is backed up by the Queer Theorists, who argue (against the essentialists in their own ranks) that sexuality is more fluid and malleable than classical (learned) social roles would suggest.
The difference is that the Queer Theorists are malevolently inviting straight kids to come out and play queer, whereas the author is trying to point out that kids have to be shaped and educated in their gender and their sexuality, if they are to grow up "straight", and to keep them away from confusion of the sort the Queer Theorists are attempting to spread in the country's schools.
No. Objectivity required dispassion, not compassion.
God bless and sustain you, joe. Hang around FR, you're an interesting voice. I don't say I agree with you, but it never hurts to have an honest debate.:)
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