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Top 10 Pick Up Lines (And Bottom 10 too!)
AskMen.com ^ | 1/10/2005 | Shawn Croft

Posted on 01/10/2005 11:27:41 AM PST by pissant

Top 10 Pick Up Lines (man to woman):

Number 10 "I was wondering if you have a moment to spare for me to hit on you?"

Number 9 "What's a sexy woman like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?"

Number 8 "Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package."

Number 7 "Who's your friend?" (This one is risky, but it will shatter any pretense she might have about your actions by shifting the focus on her friend. This will intrigue her, to say the least, as she will wish to know "hey, how come not me?")

Number 6 "I'm new in town and can't find my way around; could I have directions to your place?"

Number 5 "I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you."

Number 4 "You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy."

Number 3 "What's your name?"

Number 2 "See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute."

Number 1 "So what haven't you been told tonight?"

Click link to read more, including the Bottom 10.

(Excerpt) Read more at askmen.com ...


TOPICS: Astronomy
KEYWORDS: hottie
I used to be partial to "That's a beautiful dress. It would look great on my bedroom floor". Just call me old fashioned.
1 posted on 01/10/2005 11:27:41 AM PST by pissant
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To: pissant

explains why you have a drooping eye and walk with a limp


2 posted on 01/10/2005 11:33:40 AM PST by kingattax
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To: pissant

Pepe Le Pew's Top Ten Pick-Up Lines:

1. SWEET HEART IF I FOLLOW YOU HOME WILL YOU KEEP ME?

2. NOT ONLY AM I GOOD-LOOKING, BABY DOLL, I'M RICH. INTERESTED?

3. YOU HAVE A MAP, YES? I WOULD LIKE TO USE IT SINCE I KEEP GETTING LOST IN YOUR EYES.

4. I HOPE YOU KNOW CPR, MY DARLING, BECAUSE YOU TAKE MY BREATH AWAY.

5. IF COULD REARRANGE THE ALPAHABET I'D PUT U AND I TOGETHER.

6. PARDON ME, MON CHERI. I SEEM TO HAVE LOST MY PHONE NUMBER, MAY I BORROW YOURS?

7. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY EYES, NO?! I CANNOT SEEM TO TAKE THEM OFF OF YOU.

8. COFFEE? TEA? ME?

9. YOUR LEGS, THEY MUST BE TIRED, BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND ALL DAY.

10. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, OR SHOULD I WALK BY AGAIN?


3 posted on 01/10/2005 11:35:46 AM PST by ZGuy
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To: pissant

The should be called "disqualifiers". Anyone female who would fall prey to one of these lines is not worth my effort. :)


4 posted on 01/10/2005 11:36:30 AM PST by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: pissant; cyborg; arasina; fortunecookie
Number 8 "Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package."

LOL

5 posted on 01/10/2005 11:37:14 AM PST by Petronski (I'm *not* always cranky.)
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To: pissant

I've found that "Hi. How are you?", said as if you actually mean it and were interested in her response, works just fine.


6 posted on 01/10/2005 11:37:16 AM PST by Dead Corpse (Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.)
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To: pissant
Number 5 "I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you."

This would only piss off most women.

The rest? Well, I'm busily copying them.

7 posted on 01/10/2005 11:38:30 AM PST by Lazamataz ("Stay well - Stay safe - Stay armed - Yorktown" -- harpseal)
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To: Dead Corpse

Is that the best you can do? You must be single still!


8 posted on 01/10/2005 11:39:26 AM PST by pissant
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To: pissant

"I saw you in dreams. And when I awoke the dawn had taken you away."

Please don't use this one, you may end up blindfolded and tied up in the back of a van and captive to giggling psychotic types.


9 posted on 01/10/2005 11:39:38 AM PST by Darksheare (Taglines may or may not reflect reality depending upon the humor of their owner. I'm a penguin!)
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To: Dead Corpse
I've found that "Hi. How are you?", said as if you actually mean it and were interested in her response, works just fine.

My usual line is, "Yes, I was arrested, but since they couldn't find the body, they couldn't indict me."

10 posted on 01/10/2005 11:39:39 AM PST by Lazamataz ("Stay well - Stay safe - Stay armed - Yorktown" -- harpseal)
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To: ZGuy

Does this rag smell like chloroform?


11 posted on 01/10/2005 11:43:50 AM PST by Ignatius J Reilly
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To: pissant

Curious about what the Bottom 10 could possibly offer that was more trite or tasteless than the Top 10, I unwisely wasted 2 minutes of my life discovering those zingers.

"How do you like your morning eggs - scrambled, boiled, or fertilised?"

Oh, yeah.


12 posted on 01/10/2005 11:49:08 AM PST by headsonpikes (Spirit of '76 bttt!)
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To: Ignatius J Reilly

"And here we see the Hottus chickus in her native habitat!"


13 posted on 01/10/2005 11:49:22 AM PST by Darksheare (Taglines may or may not reflect reality depending upon the humor of their owner. I'm a penguin!)
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To: Ignatius J Reilly

LOL


14 posted on 01/10/2005 11:52:06 AM PST by pissant
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To: headsonpikes

and another 42 seconds typing up a response. Your wasting your life!!!!


15 posted on 01/10/2005 11:52:48 AM PST by pissant
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To: pissant

Number 9 (Worst)

"How would you like your eggs for breakfast: scrambled, boiled or fertilized?"

Yikes!!!


16 posted on 01/10/2005 11:57:50 AM PST by maggief
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To: pissant

Married. Almost ten years.


17 posted on 01/10/2005 12:01:55 PM PST by Dead Corpse (Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.)
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To: pissant

Mark Morford's favorite pickup line is "May I push in your stool?"


18 posted on 01/10/2005 12:05:44 PM PST by VRWCmember ("You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." - Indigo Montoya)
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To: pissant

I did not have a line so much as a scam. This was before I got busted for dealing weed (The US called me one of the biggest independant weed dealers in the Southwest). I used to drive a Porsche 993 Twin Turbo (Oh yeah, Speed. Great way to stay under the Fed's radar there).

I used to park outside a club and once I started to chat up some worthy woman, I would reach in my pocket and hit the panic button on Alarm remote. I would do this several times over the course of several minutes. Before long someone from outside would come in and tell the DJ. The DJ of course would announce, "Does Anyone here own a Porsche Turbo? Your alarm keeps going off."

I, of course would not mention my car to the woman I was talking to before then and would go, "That sounds like my car."

Without fail, the women would go, "You own a Porsche?"

Worked every time. That car was four wheel, six speed, 600 HP panty remover. It wound up getting seized by the Feds along with everything else I had, ill gotten or not.


19 posted on 01/10/2005 12:08:06 PM PST by speed_addiction (Ninja's last words, "Hey guys. Watch me just flip out on that big dude over there!")
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To: pissant
From the Ten Worst and for the arithmeticall inclined:

"What do you say we go back to my place and do some math? Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply!"

20 posted on 01/10/2005 12:12:40 PM PST by Rummyfan
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To: pissant
Your wasting your life!!!!

So true - luckily, in years past I invested my time wisely so as to have a grasp of fundamentals such as spelling, grammar, and the rules of style.

Unlike some, I can afford to waste my time.

21 posted on 01/10/2005 12:17:30 PM PST by headsonpikes (Spirit of '76 bttt!)
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To: headsonpikes

"....so as to have a grasp..."

I see your point. Using 6 words when 1 will do, is the surest sign of a man who's paid his dues.


22 posted on 01/10/2005 1:02:41 PM PST by pissant
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To: VRWCmember

Now that's just sick!!!


23 posted on 01/10/2005 1:07:43 PM PST by CTOCS (This space left intentionally blank...)
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To: speed_addiction

I used to pretend that I thought I was gay. I would sit at the bar looking despondent. Once the girl (target) asked what was bothering me, I would tell her that I had little to no experience with romance but was starting to feel something towards my boss. I would tell her I was worried I was becoming gay.

More often than not, they'd take me home to prove me wrong!


24 posted on 01/10/2005 1:12:37 PM PST by CTOCS (This space left intentionally blank...)
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To: Lazamataz

Number 5 "I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you."

This would only piss off most women.

Actually that line, delivered correctly to a beautiful woman who isn't used to hearing anything like that, would crack her up. It's actually a work of genius. ;)

Using it on an average-looking woman, though, is probably ill-advised.

25 posted on 01/10/2005 1:18:41 PM PST by Mr. Jeeves
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To: CTOCS

In Seattle, five aids infested homos would have tied you to lampost and took turns proving your worries to be well founded.


26 posted on 01/10/2005 1:25:30 PM PST by pissant
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To: pissant

Which is why I don't go there much!!!


27 posted on 01/10/2005 2:14:32 PM PST by CTOCS (This space left intentionally blank...)
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To: speed_addiction

ewww. Did you dress up like a cop and 'arrest' women too? Your scam is just as creepy.


28 posted on 01/10/2005 5:23:27 PM PST by arasina (So there.)
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To: pissant

Any guy who says..'Here's my credit (read platinum) card, go have fun..'..works for me! *L*


29 posted on 01/10/2005 5:25:43 PM PST by Happygal (liberalism - a narrow tribal outlook largely founded on class prejudice)
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To: speed_addiction

I have two porsche's....a front porsche and a back porsche.

My next door neighbor just bought a Cayenne...cost him a little over 100k with taxes. um.......it's worth it.


30 posted on 01/10/2005 5:30:08 PM PST by gortklattu (As the preacher in Blazing Saddles said "You're on your own.")
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To: Dead Corpse

Sincerity: If you can fake that, you're in!


31 posted on 01/10/2005 5:33:10 PM PST by AmishDude
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To: Ignatius J Reilly

"Does this rag smell like chloroform?"

Hey, you stole my best line !!!!!!



32 posted on 01/10/2005 5:40:07 PM PST by PoorMuttly ("Always carry a firearm east of Aldgate, Watson.")
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To: Ignatius J Reilly
Does this rag smell like chloroform?

LOL!!!!

33 posted on 01/10/2005 7:38:30 PM PST by null and void (I refuse to live my life as if someone, somewhere will be offended if I laugh...)
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To: pissant

If you were a boogur I'd pick you first!


34 posted on 01/11/2005 6:06:06 AM PST by Khurkris (That sound you hear coming from over the horizon...thats me laughing.)
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To: pissant

Two questions:

1) What does this have to do with Astronomy?

2) What happened to the old classic, "The word of the day is "legs." Let's go to my place and spread the word.


35 posted on 01/11/2005 1:33:41 PM PST by mwyounce
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To: pissant

You're name must be Visa cuz you're everywhere I wanna be.


36 posted on 01/11/2005 1:36:24 PM PST by GSWarrior
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To: Lazamataz
That one works like a charm for Gary Condit.

-good times, G.J.P.(Jr.)

37 posted on 01/13/2005 4:04:54 PM PST by Do not dub me shapka broham ("Oi! Oi! Is this a proper parliament?")
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