Posted on 02/09/2006 8:01:24 AM PST by Millee
It's been a week for utter stupidity.
First, Nick Flynn tripped over his shoelaces and smashed three very expensive Qing vases at a museum in Cambridge.
Last night the Everton goalkeeper Richard Wright was injured after tripping over a sign telling players not to practice in the Stamford Bridge goalmouth at Chelsea.
He did not make the FA Cup fourth round replay and Everton were hammered 4-1.
And finally, a Land Rover driver admitted to a "blonde moment" after driving her car into a lake.
"One minute I was parking the car, the next I was in the water. I just had a blonde moment," she said.
So what's your worst "blonde moment"? What's the most stupid, embarrassing or humiliating thing you have ever done?
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Here are some of your memorable moments:
I was driving to a friend's house one day wondering why my feet felt so uncomfortable. When I got out of the car I noticed I had the shoes on the wrong feet. Ruth, London
Whilst watching Palestinian police firing rubber bullets at protesters on 'News night' my girlfriend (Brunette) asked me if "rubber bullets hurt more than real ones". I kid you not. Jay Baxter
Hmmm Rather embarrassing!! Was in a club talking to club Dj Tall Paul and ask..Why do they call you Tall Paul?? (he's over 6ft 5in) Tee hee Andrea Cox
I cant believe Im telling some1 this..... but I was looking on the internet to purchase a used car. The usual facts were stated, green, red, 40k, 80k, 165k, alloys, mettalic paint, etc. I couldnt believe my surprise when some1 actually stated that they were... as the previous owner... a black lady. I thought that extremelly irrellevant. I photocopied it, brought it home to the 5 members of my family and told them to listen to this for nonsense.... "opel tigra 60k alloys black lady owner electric sunroof" Get it now.... they all just BURST out laughin. Morto. Olivia the blonde (yes uve guessed it), Limerick, Ireland
A couple of weeks ago I was at my parents' house, where my mother was telling my girlfriend about one of her elderly neighbours who had a glass eye. Later in the car going home she asked me if glass eyes were really made of glass. I told her that one day they probably were, but now a days you could probably get them made of anything. I could see her mulling this over. She then turned to me and said "?.and can you see through these glass eyes?" The `are you serious` look on my face answered the question for her, to which she immediately said she was only joking??but she wasn't. Michael Newton Swinton, Manchester
My blond friend Michelle once asked an American friend "Is America the Norwich side or the Wales side of England!!" Enough said. Emma, Yorkshire Advertisement Advertisement
On a family day out, we were following some friends out toward Nottingham, my wife was on her mobile to the Female passenger of the other car when the signal faded. She said "Get closer to them". I nearly crashed the car laughing. Tony Hinks, Lincoln
I was chatting to a friend of mine while walking down Gower Street in London, after a night out. I wasn't looking where I was going. I turned to face the front and, as soon as I had, walked straight into a parking meter and knocked out my front tooth. Lindsay Wright
Just last week I left my laptop outside my house. I set the laptop bag down on the pavement so that I could reverse my car out of the driveway (it's very tight and one has to "climb" in). I then just drove off! Later that day I got a note through the door from someone saying they'd picked it up. I got it back that day, proving there still nice people in this world. Paul
I went for a meal with my boyfriend and his brother. My boyfriend and his brother ordered a large steak each, I had the chicken. When the food came the steaks were huge but both being men with big appetites they managed to polish them off to my amazement. When the bill came it was passed to me for a joke (my boyfriend's brother was paying). I looked at the bill and said "oh look, it says "well done" for eating your all your steak". He said, "no Rachel, that's how I asked for it cooking". I wanted the ground to swallow me up! Rachel, Leeds
I once picked up my sister from the train station. She got out of the train station opened the back passenger door and slammed it shut. So I sped off, thinking I looked really cool in my new car. I asked her how her day was and whether it was good and finally what was wrong as she wasn't replying. It wasn't until I turned around to look in the back that I discovered she wasn't there at all! She had put her bags in the back and was coming round to sit in the front when I chose that moment to drive off kamikaze style. Needless to say I was mortified as there was also a long queue of black cabs running along the platform and they must have seen it all... I waited for her at the end of the road. Ghazala, London
My highly intelligent, politics grad girlfriend who happens to be blonde, came out with a classic a couple of months ago. Whilst being teased for various prior blonde moments she uttered the classic, "It's not my fault, I'm just not the sharpest spoon in the drawer......". Evidently this is true. This also follows her recently telling me to "Bite the bull by the horns" Marvellous. All this, and more, while being far more intelligent than almost everybody else I know, myself included. I guess that's what having blonde hair does to you every now and then. Lee
Should we be calling these "blonde" moments? Frequently associating negative experiences, even if humorous, with a biological characteristic is reinforcing a stereotype and can be traumatic. Describing them as "lapses in concentration" or "Doh" moments (Homer Simpson) may be better. Just a thought. Hans, London
OWWWW!
I could tell you, but FR is a "family forum"... oh, wait... those are my "moments with blondes". never mind.
Probably only 75-100,000 people. They all knew my name by the end of the race....
;-)
But it was the most energized I'd felt in a long time.
I once ordered fish and chips with a side order of fries. The waiter had to point out to me that fries already came with the fish. Duh!
I thought that an "inverted start" was when your plane was flipped over with the wings on the tarmac and your wheels in the air?!?
That would be pretty cool.
My kids& Hubby are ill, so last night we all piled into the big bed together, so I could keep an eye on everyone; About 2am, someone was cryng to go to the bathroom. I grabbed the first hot body that I came in contact with and hauled them to the bathroom. I ALMOST DROPPED MY ONE YEAR OLD INTO THE TOILET.
Glued three, count em, fingers together with superglue, had to cut them apart with an exacto knife, ouch!!
My most recent.
About a year and a half ago, when I was working at Camp Victory, I was alone in the office trailer I shared with two co-workers.
I wanted to listen to music through my headphones while I worked, so I figured I'd put my cellphone in my shirt pocket and put it on "vibrate" so I could tell if anyone was calling. So I get up and get if off the charger and was putting it in my pocket at the same time I was sitting back down in my chair.
It appears I could not manage that simultaneous function.
I somehow missed the hair and both it and I went sprawling. Next thing I knew, I was flat on my back on the floor and the chair was overturned beside me. Once it dawned on me what had happened, I started laughing so hard I couldn't get back up for a few minutes.
I kept imagining how funny it must have looked and cracking up all over again.
I was almost bummed I didn't have an audience for that one. It had to have looked hilarious.
Well there was Lisa. Wow...we.....hmmm maybe that is not what you mean here huh?
LOL - you seem to be a walking sitcom!
"tripped over power strip".
I can relate to that. I fall off my shoes all the time.
And, I've nearly amputated every toe I have, because wine glasses get suicidal around me and AIM for my feet.
Tomatoes the size of beach balls.
SD
Oh I am all for blonde moments
and brunette moments....
and redhead moments
mark
Somehow, I knew you did!!
Funny you brought this up, Milstar. I just retold the following story the other day to my husband:
Many years ago, I was in the supermarket when I ran into a man that used to be a booster parent for the band when I was in high school. I graduated with his son so I was interested in seeing how he was doing.
It was just turning to winter weather, and I was wearing a long black coat I hadn't worn since the previous year. As I'm talking to him in the fruit aisle, I had my hand in my pocket and felt something kind of strange. You know how you leave things in your pocket and forget about them, right?
So I feel this large piece of strange fabric. Curious as to what it was, I pulled it out. Apparently, the last time I wore the coat was when I was at a formal function and had been wearing a strapless cocktail dress.
Yup. I pulled out my strapless bra that I had taken off on the ride home, because it was killing me after the party. I'm just holding it and he looks down and I think I turned about 8 shades of purple.
One time when I was mowing the lawn, the wheels got stocl on a bump of sod. So I stood on the cement next to the grass for traction and started pulling...and when it came loose, I stumbled backwards into the pool.
So my clothes were now all wet.
My little brother had good laugh. :P
They left out the young lady who phoned in a bomb threat to LaGuardia Airport, from her own cell phone, to try to delay the flight so she wouldn't miss it. She just HAD to catch it, because she was flying to Atlanta to see her boyfriend, who she was afraid was about to fly to Minnesota to "confront" her ex-boyfriend. Despite the long delay she caused, she still missed the flight, and now has no boyfriend to worry about either. She does have some FBI agents and federal judges to worry about, though.
As for the smashing of the Qing vases, I think the real blonde moment there was when some museum staffer decided to display them in a place and manner which made this possible.
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