Posted on 09/05/2006 6:38:30 AM PDT by xzins
NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying "weapons of math instruction."
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names, like 'x' and 'y,' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the "axis of medieval" with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.' "
When asked to comment on the arrest, 'cut 'n' run democrat spokesman Sen. John Kerry said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
I heard radicals were involved...
Many of their numbers are irrational....
Some of their functions have grown exponentially. but they are trying to get back to their roots...
Division is one of their primary tactics....
They claim only to seek equality...
I've got a round one. You never go off scale!
What a hoot !
Slide Rules for us seasoned engineers were also called "slipsticks."
I remember. I was never an engineer but my dad was and insisted I learn how to use his (still protected and safely encased in the belt holster). As a kid I could never figure out the point when there were perfectly good $10 calculators all around.
Is that a binary 10 or a decimal 10?
I will die before converting to the decimal system.
Absolutely too freakin' funny!!!
Hexadecimal 10, in my case.
They want to take over the world and make us all use the metric system.
Think only-- ruler,calculator get recognition for that group....and I am not sure of 'ruler.'
Freemason?
Kidding.
Very Clever!
Sad but true...
I'm under 40. I know what a slide rule is. Of course it used to belong to my dad.
A slide rule is an ancient calculating device. Also known as a slipstick
I was also just log-ging on when you pinged me. Was his name Taylor and was he a series terrorist?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.