I know it's a few days early, but....
Posted on 03/30/2007 4:40:30 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Republicans are liars and manipulators. Dividers. Fear mongers. Smiling when they talk about war and grinning when they tell their lies and distort their record. Trying to impose their hateful morals on the rest of the world. Have you seen their platform? Have you listened to their speeches? These warmongers? These liars? Let's get some things straight: Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. Stop insinuating there is. Where is Osama? Why are we in Iraq if Osama Bin Laden is free? The 9/11 commission makes it very clear that Bush's administration ignored signs of a pending attack. There are no Weapons of Mass Destruction. BUSH LIED. IT WAS ALL FOR OIL. Don't try to call Kerry a liar to minimize his deceptions. Kerry served in Vietnam. Bush was AWOL. These are facts. "Swiftboat Veterans for Bush" was assisted by the Bush Campaign. More facts. Bush lied to the entire country and Colin Powell lied to the entire world as to why we should invade Iraq, then we did so in spite of the U.N. and without a plan to win the peace. Bush's actions have caused unprecedented anger and resentment towards the U.S. and made us less safe, not more. Iraq and Afganistan are not *free*. Stop saying they are. LIARS. They are under U.S. military occupation. Republicans cut taxes on the wealthy and then cut funding for children. Just released numbers show more Americans in poverty and more people without healthcare and jobs. Republicans think this is the way life should be. George W. Bush turned his back on the Middle East peace process begun by Bill Clinton causing a massive increase in violence and tensions in the region. Cheney should be in jail. Bush should be in jail for war crimes for that matter. The media is *not* liberal but now everyone assumes it is, and the conservatives get their way always. They are manipulators extraordinaire. Have you read the platform? Revisionism and manipulation at it's best.
Democrats offer a better solution and security for this country. They plan to get out of Iraq and end the occupation of war. They plan on trying to make peace with the terrorists. Democrats are honest and hard working and fight for this country to be the best. They honor our military and want to protect those that defend this country. Hillary will be the best President ever.
I know it's a few days early, but....
"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. " ~Mark Twain
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So, what plans do you have for April Fools Day? Share your jokes or pranks from the past, present and future... Tell us what April Fools Day means to you. And let's not forget to have a little fun at all the fools in the worlds, expense. HA!
First?
Viking kitties on the way. I'll try to call them off but if I can't you may feel a mild tingle in a few minutes. :-)
Yeah, in gayness!!
"As your "duly" elected president I demand my stuff! Don't I get any stuff? Bill got stuff, but I like other kinds of stuff than Bill likes? Where's my snap-on tools? I think I see some unsuspecting stuff prancing down the hallway!"
Am I in the first ten?? Is there some magical thing about being in the first ten posters? Can i sit here and wait for the magic sparkles to rain down on me???
I intend to download this cool prank to make people think their hard drive is reformatting.
I know, i know, i'm mean. My son did it to me years ago and i immediately reached down and turned my computer off to stop it. Stinker. He laughed his head off!
Come on : Tell the truth , you got Rosie O'Donnell to write that didnt you.?
It sounds just like her last appearance on the View.
Furthermore she believes it.
Did you know she has sex with the same foul mouth she spouts her hate from. She should have love tattooed on her upper lip and hate tattooed on the lower.
And now, a picture of a bikini blond with a pancake on her head.
A museum is a thing of the past.
I was fixated on the pain in my bad tooth. I was abscessed by it.
Are Philosophy papers graded with Marx out of ten?
The Jedi Knight traded in his light saber for a light dagger. He had gone over to the dirk side
Marie Antoinette said that feeding the peasants was a piece of cake.
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me
And there you are,
sitting on your ass,
at your computer, reading jokes on Free Republic.
Nice. Real nice
The retired track official has started forgetting things. He has old timer's disease.
A man walked into a chimney store and asked 'How much for this one?'. The salesman replied 'It's on the house.'
I met some cult members who worshiped soup serving utensils. I said, 'Oh ye of ladle faith.'
So, how's the flower business going? Oh, it's blossoming quite nicely.
Many descendants of early Mexicans have the kinds of jobs one would expect - as techs.
Hey, this is the silliness thread, not the broken picture link thread...... :-)
LMAO!!!!
Rudy Giuiliani, Mitt Romney, and John McCain are on a plane together. They are flying to their first debate, and having a discussion of the important issues.
Their argument is interrupted by an announcement by the captain that the plane has run out of fuel and is going to crash.
Then they are told there is only one parachute for the three of them, so they are going to have to decide which one gets to live.
But then the plane nosedives and crashes.
Ah, the smart filter restrictions have struck again.....
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A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the husband out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he is in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He has probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he could kill us both. Be strong, honey I love you!"
His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey... I love you, too.
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Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon............
This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. It's preprogrammed in your brain!
1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY......) and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with you right hand.
Your foot will change direction.
And there's nothing you can do about it!
That's a joke, Ah say a joke son.
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an
Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.
"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your
wife," said one trooper.
"Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted.
The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news,
some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to
hear first?"
Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news
first."
The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we
found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's
the good news?"
The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-
five pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her."
Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the
great news?"
The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."
A couple years ago my two oldest kids put plastic wrap over all the bottles in my shower (shampoo, conditioner, bath gel). It was actually hilarious because they were only 8 and 10 and I was surprised that they thought to do it!
Morning L9T! Morning Tom!
A drugstore was broken into, and all the Viagra was stolen. Police are looking for three hardened criminals.
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