***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

[Lucky9teen]

For those of you who have kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews or whatever and are stuck on what to get them for Christmas.....

Here's a list of recommended books that can only be found in certain educational book stores.

[Lucky9teen]

[Constitution Day]

Howdy

[Lucky9teen]

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Official Friday Silliness Thread

~ Click here to be added or taken off the list ~

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Have you done your Christmas shopping?

Any gift ideas?

[ShadowAce]

Yea!!!

[BenLurkin]

SWEET STORY
Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. “Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” she asks, “will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?

Melissa’s father thinks a bit, and then says “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?”

“Osama Bin Laden,” she says

“Why Osama Bin Laden,” her father asks in shock.

“Well,” she says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit.

And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he’d love everyone a lot. And then he’d start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn’t hate anyone anymore.”

Her father’s heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride.

“Melissa, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I know,” Melissa says, “and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of him.”

[1rudeboy]

My book recommendation:

Forbidden LEGO: Build the Models Your Parents Warned You Against.

[BenLurkin]

You might be a redneck pilot if:

—your stall warning horn plays “Dixie.”

—your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.

—you think sectional charts should show trailer parks.

—you’ve ever used moonshine as gas.

—your wheel pants have mud flaps.

—those mud flaps sport a chrome silhouette of a reclining nude.

—you think GPS stands for “Going Perfectly Straight.”

—your toothpick keeps poking your boom mike.

—you constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.

—you use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.

—you fuel your Cessna from a Mason jar.

—you wouldn’t be caught dead flyin’ a Grumman “Yankee.”

—you refer to flying in formation as “We got ourselves a convoy!”

—there is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your septic tank service.

—the set of “matched luggage” you take on your long cross-country flights is three grocery sacks from the same Piggly Wiggly.

—you subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of the soft paper.

—just before impact, you are heard saying, “Hey y’all, watch this!”

[Kate of Spice Island]

Howdy!

[Hoodlum91]

I’m done!

Now i have to wrap all the stupid things.

[ErnBatavia]

Yarrrrgh!

[BenLurkin]

Hula Hoop!

[ErnBatavia]

Any gift ideas?

We get the nieces, nephews and grandkids an annual U.S. Mint proof set every year until they turn 18.

Not too pricey (altho this year, with the Presidential dollar coins, they're up quite a bit), and should make nice keepsakes.

[BenLurkin]

Glow in the dark Kittens!

[Red Badger]

- Your pre-flight checks include opening a box of Copenhagen

[najida]

Eweeeewwwww!!!

[CholeraJoe]

Completely finished several months ago. I made a trip to Ireland in September and bought everyone’s gift there. Mailed everything this week.

[SmithL]

Money's Tight
Times are Hard
Here's your stupid
Christmas Card!

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Ho, Ho, Ho

[CholeraJoe]

You are one twisted pup, Lucky!

[tomkow6]

One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's play Wee-wee-chew."

"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Wee-wee-chew. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon."

"Please, corazoncito, just once, play Wee-wee-chew with me."

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll play Wee-wee-chew."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....
"Wee-wee-chew a Merry Christmas, Wee-wee-chew a Merry Christmas, "Wee-wee-chew a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."

[tomkow6]

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.

Got connected to a call center in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.......