The worst, most humiliating baby names

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[Xenalyte]

The 2004 season, I took off from performing at the Festival and worked in a booth. We could be whoever we wanted, as long as we were in costume.

My Scottish peasant was named Philomena McGregor McKenzie McCracken, but if she liked you, she’d let you call her Phil.

[Xenalyte]

This one's my favorite, and it's true.

Good ole Heywood.

[Xenalyte]

My husband is a Jonathan Paul, but he goes by Jon. His sisters are Rebecca and Pamela; I can’t recall their middle names right off, but I have heard them and they are simple and nice. As a hidebound traditionalist, I approve of his parents’ naming strategy.

[Xenalyte]

Back in the day, Bacon Man had a psychology professor named Bob Moorcock.

[Xenalyte]

When I was just getting fascinated with names, I ran across this in my junior high library: The Name Game.

It was intriguing - it gave a list of traditional name meanings, and a list of the psychological associations various names held for people. One I remember is Ann versus Anne: Ann is held to be a nice girl, while Anne is hotter than Ann but less trustworthy.

[Xenalyte]

I have long held that naming girls after months, seasons, flowers, or jewels guarantees for them a future of working the pole.

[PLMerite]

“There was a gynecologist at the University of Vermont, when my first child was born, named, Dr. Clapp.”

There’s a “Dr. Clinch” who advertises around here, but he’s an eye surgeon not a proctologist...

[PLMerite]

A friend of mine is threatening to give his kid the middle name “Effing.”

Well, he wasn’t until I suggested it, now he thinks it’s funny.

[Proverbs 3-5]

wait till you meet Monday Monday.

My college roommate dated a girl named Cherry Cherry.

Also in college I had a grad assistant named Eric Jolly who told us his brother decided to dump his long time girlfriend because of her name. It was Holly...

[Proverbs 3-5]

I also knew a chick named Anita Dick, poor girl...

[Clemenza]

Don’t ever name your daughter Butch, or give your son the middle name “Wayne.”

[Clemenza]

There was once an ice cream store in San Francisco called “Uncle Gaylord’s.”

[Clemenza]

Tyler sounds like a gay prostitute.

Another name I hate is "Cameron", which happens to be the Spanish word for "Shrimp."

[Clemenza]

Our high school football coach was named Richard Kuntz. Nobody dared called him Dick...

[ktscarlett66]

Ima Hogg..the ‘First Lady of Texas’. Daughter of ‘Big Jim’ Hogg.

[Tainan]

My 4th grade Music teacher - Miss Nina Nutter.

As a young Scottish/Hillbilly kid I had quite the time pronouncing her name and keeping a straight face. My Da also had a time with that name and the unintended humor it provided.
During my college years I worked night shift at a local hospital for a year or so. One of my co-workers was a painfully shy, but intelligent and rather nice looking girl with an unfortunate name - Rosemary Butz.

[ktscarlett66]

Went to school with a large family whose last name was Christmas. One of the girls was named Mary. Also met a Bunnie Rabbitt, an oral surgeon named Dr Lippman and an Anita Dick.

[JenB]

Knew a guy once named Jack Hammer. It was a family name, and he always went by his nickname - Tack Hammer.

[ktscarlett66]

Hey, hey, hey! In my family I have a sister April, a great grandmother Viola, an Aunt Ruby, a great aunt Goldie and I’m Holly. None of us work the pole (as far as I know!)

[ErnBatavia]

There was once an ice cream store in San Francisco

I know a guy who lives and works in San Francisco...his name is Bruce Fairey.

I used to call him "TTNO" - The Tragically Named One.