Used strictly as ornament.
Posted on 04/18/2008 8:47:15 AM PDT by najida
Rules that Girls Wish Guys Knew
1. Asking a girl on Friday for a date on Saturday is completely unacceptable. Keyword: Planning
2. Shave every day. One day's growth of facial hair is worse than a girl not shaving her legs for a week.
3. We may be emotional beings, but do not lie to squirm your way out of trouble. We are not as gullible as you think.
4. Learn to clean up the toilet. If peeing standing up is so difficult and you are bound to miss, then may we suggest that you learn to use a toilet brush and sponge to clean up after yourself.
5. We really don't find it attractive when you stand there stratching yourself in the morning, afternoon or night- please do it in private.
6. Don't do it, if you're not going to follow-thru. A woman would rather not have sex at all, than to have it and miss the climax by a mile because you weren't up for the challenge.
7. Don't fix it if it's really not broke. You don't need to take everything apart out of curiosity.
8. Ask for directions
9. If you said you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, then do it. Don't expect us to wait around.
10. Professional Wrestling and Soap Opera's are the same story lines, just different costumes. So don't make fun of us for being hooked on Y&R when you are hooked on RAW.
11. "I don't feel like talking right now" is an acceptable thing to say- Unacceptable thing to do is sit there and pretend you're listening and just say "uh huh" and "yes Dear"- it's condescending.
12. Get rid of your holey underwear.
13. If you can ogle so can we!
14. One remote is ENOUGH... no need to have a control tower in your living room.
15. Couch Potato is not a sport, so don't try to be an All-star at it!
16. Your way is not always the right way. Learn to say- "I was wrong"
17. If we can't talk to you during a football game, then don't try to get our attention during Gray's Anatomy.
18. If you say you are going to do something, then just do it. Don't sit around thinking of creative excuses why you couldn't get to it.
19. We are not your mothers, so don't expect us to clean up after you like one.
20. Wendy's is not considered a romantic dinner for two.
21. We have other friends of the male gender, so leave your jealousy at the door!
22. If you concede to let us decorate the house without any input from you, then don't complain when everything is in frilly flowers, and pink motif.
23. When wearing a dress shirt, wear an undershirt underneath. Nothing worse than seeing a man's hairy chest and nipples through his shirt. (PINK PINK PINK)
24. Hey, we CAN be friends with our ex's- so deal with it!
25. We understand that you have to put on a manly act in front of your friends, but in the privacy of your own home, it's okay if you just want to cuddle.
Your belief one way or another doesn't change the facts. I've seen more of the XX-chromosome set in my young years than you will in your entire life, but what of it, "eh"? And yes, humor is irrelevant. Try firmness, supreme self-confidence and if you can manage, an IQ north of 160.
Used strictly as ornament.
Of course as long as they don't laugh when he takes off his pants.
Touche' :) ... and the guy that follows all of these rules if going to be a gay man secretly experimenting with a girlfriend.
If after work I have a date I put on a nice dry cleaned dress shirt with a T-shirt underneath. Assuming I don't get any dinner on it, and it doesn't wind up crumpled in a pile at the foot of her or my bed....I hang it up and potentially wear it again; after all I only wore it for about four hours or less and didn't get any body funk on it.
No undershirt and you sweat on it and it will smell bad the next time.
Bachelor rule #35. It minimizes ironing and/or dry cleaning. Try it.
And again,
like this thread
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2003465/posts
It’s TIC humor.
Really.
My rule is; if I have 25 “issues” with women, have sex with the person who loves me most...me.
I like to make women cry.
1. Telling me on Friday night that you signed us up to work on some community project is completely unacceptable. The lack of planning by the self-anointed leaders in this community does not constitute an emergency for me.
2. I know you are an emotional being while I am a logical being. I know you easily get upset when outcomes are not in conformance with your expectations. I know I will be told who did what to hurt your feelings. Please try to understand that unless you want me to tell the shriveled up prune who runs the garden club what I really think of her—and you don’t want to do it yourself, please don’t burden me with a problem you won’t let me address let alone fix.
3. Please do not use my razor on your legs. Yes, I love your legs and I love them even more when they are smooth, but I cannot shave safely with a blade that has been damaged by cutting coarse legs hair. If you do us my razor to shave your legs, please tell me you did so which will help reduce the possibility of my bleeding to death in the bathroom.
4. I don’t take things apart simply out of curiosity. I take things apart to learn how they work and to see if I can improve the product. Remember that I purchased the Escalade you drive with royalties from one of my patents.
5. There are three reasons I haven’t asked a person for directions in four years. The first reason is I plan my trips. I like to know the address of the destination and a reasonable route for getting there. The second reason is we have OnStar® and I bothered to learn how to enter the address of my destination into the navigation system which gives me directions. The last time I asked for directions was because the exits in the Big Dig were closed and OnStar was unable to reroute me any way other than through the Big Dig. If you remember the first three individuals we asked had no idea and said so. The fourth individual also did not know how to get there, but that didn’t stop her from giving us directions. If you remember, I finally parked and found a vantage point from which I could see our destination. I returned and we drove there.
6. Keep your promises. You have promised me you will not loan more than $20 to any individual without first consulting with me. I have heard that promise repeated numerous times after you have loaned substantial amounts of money to friends and acquaintances who had no intention of repaying it because they believe that simply because the I.R.S. takes 33 percent of every dollar I earn and the Commonwealth of Massachusetts takes 5.30% of every dollar I earn (and a greater percentage of what we spend) that we are fabulously wealthy and can “afford” to support them in the lifestyle to which they would like to become accustomed.
7. Yes, one remote is enough. I remember you had me change the batteries in the remote earlier this week. I also remember that is the first time I touched that device in the last nine months.
8. Just because women enjoy the smell of wildflowers and pine scented disinfectants, do not assume that men do. We live in a pine forest. I can go outside to smell the real pines. I am not allergic to them. But the smell of PineSol® makes me want to puke, causes my skin to break out and makes it difficult for me to breathe.
9. Do not try to open the car door until you hear the lock click to the unlocked position when I put the vehicle into PARK. It will save you a lot of time. Do NOT try to unlock the door when you realize that holding the handle has prevented you from opening the door. That is a safety feature to keep you from getting run over.
10. I don't like my brothers and sisters any more than you do. Do not assume that I am the reason that most of them are lazy obnoxious boors. They are that way because they chose to be that way. But I do not need to hear what I already know about them any more than you need to hear why I cannot stand your older sister or your cousin the chronic jailbird. I did not marry any of them and youd did not marry any of my siblings. Try to remember that. Doing so will help me control my blood pressure without resorting to medication.
It was a bit of a joke for a bit there that I was spending more time with my friend’s wife than he was, since he worked so much.
Hey, I’m a FEMALE.
I wouldn’t give you the time of day.
And you keep impressing us all to hell in case you haven’t noticed.
Please don’t confuse my lack of any further response to you as agreement with whatever you post.
I’m moving on.
I was lucky, my boyfriend actually likes to watch my crazy Arabic soaps with me.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=1r1mWHO40Pk
Check out all the screaming, crying, & choking. LOL.
Buddy,
You do not!
Now group hug on Laz everyone!
you are BRILLIANT!
;-)
LOL!
Those and the music videos have me in stitches.
I don’t know what makes me laugh harder (or envy the clothes, make-up, hair, jewelry) more...
Those or Bollywood...
OK, it’s a tie...
BTW, have you seen Haifa Wehbe’s “Kiss the Boo Boo”?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UjRoWpHAE8
Then throw it away when you do my laundry.
I do. Then I go to Wal-mart and buy a new package of the exact same kind of underwear.
That’s the goal!
Answers you do not like are not "lies." and Crying is emotional blackmail.
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