Posted on 10/22/2008 9:52:17 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
Are you superstitious? I would like to tell you that I'm not superstitious but I can't. Although I wish I could pooh-pooh superstitions because of my utterly rational mind, I am forced to admit that I have too many cases of superstitions being proved correct in my life. The first time I really noticed how strong superstitions can be was when I was back in high school. This is what happened:
I used to take a bus to my high school. Anyway, in the 10th grade I became aware of a strange pattern. Whenever I had a test later in the day, I noticed that a car bringing a really ugly (and annoying) girl to the bus stop was always late. This girl really disgusted me because the bus was always crowded and because we both had to stand up, she slammed into me when the bus driver hit the brakes on our ride to the school.
At first when I saw the car in the distance trying to make it to the bus stop on time, I kept my mouth shut so the ugly girl would miss the bus (don't give me humanitarian lectures since I was a high school punk back then) and wouldn't slam into me while we went to school. Meanwhile, later that day, I would get no better than a mediocre C on whatever test I took.
However, once in a while, a rare humanitarian streak would hit me and I would tell the bus driver to hold up and wait for the car carrying the ugly girl. Whenever that happened, I always aced whatever test I took later that day.
At first I thought this was a strange coincidence but this pattern continued the next year. On all test days, the car carrying the ugly girl would always be running late. If I kept my mouth shut and made her miss the bus, I always did lousy in the tests. Whenever I told the bus driver to wait so the ugly girl can have time to get aboard, I aced the test. By the second half of the 11th grade, I finally caught on. From that point on I ALWAYS told the bus driver to wait for the ugly girl and I ALWAYS aced all tests I took that day.
My senior year was a breeze. I rarely studied or even cracked open a book. On top of that I had a poolboy job at a beach motel full of hot tourist chicks in the afternoons. And yet...I got straight As with no effort. Why? You guessed it. I ALWAYS told that bus driver to wait for the ugly girl and I ALWAYS got straight A's on ALL my tests. One day I even had to take a test in all of my classes and I still aced them all despite little or no studying.
The strangest thing is that the girl never showed up at all on days when I had no tests that day. It was only when I had a test (or more than one test) that she showed up late. And it always had the same pattern in that I would see her car (or rather mother's car) in the distance.
So now you know why I am very superstitious. Once or twice or maybe even ten times with this event occurring could be marked up to coincidence. But MANY times over the years with the exact SAME pattern? I chalk that up to strange forces at work thus my superstition.
It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
And that ugly and annoying girl grew up to be Susan Estrich.
The End.
Let me guess! You married that ugly girl, who later turned into a raving beauty that was always on time.
That sounds like a logic flaw. She may have been so late your bus had already gone.
No - knock on wood.
The ugly girl gig ended when I graduated from high school. The reason is that I was no longer at that bus stop. It HAD to be that bus stop. And only that bus stop. That is why I only let me dad drive me to school on non-test days in my senior year.
No flaw. She only showed up on test days. And she was ALWAYS late. I could always see her mother’s car in the distance but the bus driver wouldn’t so it was up to me to tell him to wait about an extra thirty seconds or so for the girl.
I read all that and NO punchline?? You owe us!
FYI
Are you superstitious? And why?
Yes because it’s the red car that will hit you.
“Are you superstitious?”
Goodness no, living without such silly fears is the only way to have a content life.
(knock on wood)
But if you want a punchline I could tell you the story about The Thing in Texas but I won't.
Yeah... The other flaw is in the order you are standing on the bus. If she got on after you she would be in front of you not behind. Sorry.
A simple lesson in Karma, or what my grandpappy would say, “what goes around comes around.” Or is it the other way around? “What comes around goes around.” Well, whatever, you get the point.
Yeah, well, I wish I could tell you I’m utterly rational but experience tells me that way too many superstitions, like the one I related here, seem to work.
The bus was so crowded that everybody was slamming against everybody whenever that bus driver hit the breaks. It wasn’t just her. BTW, when I took the bus home from school it wasn’t at all crowded. On board quite often was maybe the hottest blonde I ever saw in my life. Her I would love to have slamming against me but it never happened.
It’s no superstition. Ugly people have traditionally brought good luck to the rest of the population (they’re good for something after all.) Remember, it is good luck to touch a hunchback’s back, or to see more than one blind man in one day. There is also something about encountering nuns and gypsies, the details escape me.
Whenever I watch a Patriots game, I have to wear a hat or other article of clothing bearing the team logo. Otherwise, I know they will lose. Sometimes they lose anyway, but at least I know it wasn’t my fault. ;-)
That sounds like a logic flaw. She may have been so late your bus had already gone.
Wrong. She didn't exist on days he had no test.
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