The Subtle Art of Beer Snobbery

Modern Drunkard magazine ^ | October, 2009 | Frank Rich

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While wine snobs have blighted the earth for thousands of years (you can bet there was at least one guy curling his lip at the vintage of Jesus’ first and best miracle), beer snobbery is a relatively young art, especially in the U.S.

This is because every beer in the country once tasted exactly the same. Oh sure, there were Bud lovers and MGD aficionados who would swear they could tell the difference, but if you gave them a blind taste test, you’d soon discover they’d just keep asking for another “test taste” until there wasn’t any beer left and they were passed out on your sofa.

Furthermore, beer was considered the balm of the common man, it was not something you swirled in a glass and judged by its “nose.” It was something you swilled from a plastic cup and sometimes shot through your nose.

Then the microbrewery revolution swept the country and soon every abandoned firehouse, bank and shoe factory was outfitted with a vat and turning out every possible form and flavor of beer you could imagine, and some you would rather not.

[dynachrome]

Some bad language in the story. Lot's o bad language in other stories! funny stuff, anyway.

[dynachrome]

pingy

[Fester Chugabrew]

Modern Drunkard. I keep intending to subscribe but the cash keeps going toward beer. Nuts.

[digger48]

[parsifal]

That was hilarious. After a half dozen beers, who cares anyway?

parsy, who prefers Dr. Pepper mixed with Parrot Bay Rum

[ConorMacNessa]

Chimay Blue here, please!

Lamh Foistenach Abu!

[Billthedrill]

Sight: Look at the beer’s label.

Stop right there. If you can read the fine print on the label, you really need another beer. A truly fine beer is graded by a mysterious figure in the corner of the label: a number, usually to one decimal place, and the mystic runes "% Alc." No one really knows where, in the misty reaches of time, this set of characters came to be, but they're nearly infallible.

Now I'm thirsty.

[OldMissileer]

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy - Benjamin Franklin

[WoofDog123]

funny article. The american micro industry is doing ale (and some lagers) as good as anywhere else in the world now, aside from british real ale and some very specific belgian styles.

[mylife]

I work with a couple of beer snobs who drink...

$12 the bottle

[BubbaBasher]

[precisionshootist]

“Chimay Blue here, please! “

Anyone who says all beer tastes the same has not tried Chimay Blue! It’s the Champagne of beers bar none.

Don’t try it unless you want to get absolutely spoiled on $13 per bottle beer.

[mamelukesabre]

blech

I’ll stick to plain old irish stout.

[MichiganMan]

Cheap wine and expensive beer.  That's my motto.

You can get decent enough red wine for under $12. And while by no means can I say I make a lot of money, life is too short to worry about an extra $2.00 for a six pack of a good beer.  

These are truly wonderous times in which we live. 

[Darren McCarty]

The Beer Fuehrer

This curmudgeonly gentlemen will declare he would rather guzzle urine than drink what he considers “bad beer.” And by bad he means any beer that comes in a can, has commercials on television, or has been heard of by more than fifty people. He can only pity the poor fools who sit in bars drinking the swill disgorged by the vast corporate vats, when they could be drinking swill produced in much smaller ones.

That hits too close to home.

Now I need a bottle of Bell's.

[mamelukesabre]

champagne of beers??

Isn’t that budweiser, or miller high life, or something like that?

[Darren McCarty]

Looks like Guinness. At $12 a bottle, I’d rather be drinking Guinness.

[mylife]

Beer snob! L0L

[mylife]

I’ll drink just about anything that doesn’t say “Lite”

[Kid Shelleen]

there is another funny artical at that site;
All Star Alcoholics
http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/55/55-all-star-alcoholics.html

[Randy Larsen]

LOL!

I like Keystone light!

Got sumpin’ to say about it!

[mylife]

Believe me it aint Guinness.

[Buck W.]

Great stuff. Ever try Maudite or Le Fin du Monde (hope I got the spellings right!) from Canada?

[ConorMacNessa]

And proud of it! Somewhat ironically, my eldest son introduced me to the delights of Chimay.

Lamh Foistenach Abu!

[mylife]

Try it? I cant even say it!

[mamelukesabre]

ultralite?

[mylife]

A couple of guys at work are hooked on the stuff.

They say Paulaner Salvatore tastes like swill by comparison L0L!

[mamelukesabre]

bitterbeerface.

[mylife]

Ahhhh! my Freepin eyes!

[ConorMacNessa]

"Lite" is the quintessential perversion of beer - Make mine heavy, please!

Lamh Foistenach Abu!

[Knitting A Conundrum]

Personally prefer Henry Weinhard’s Classic Reserve as my everyday beer. Kinda a sort of beer snob wannabee, and am sorting out what I like from what I don’t still...can’t drink much because of medical issues, so it’s gotta taste good.

[KingNo155]

high life

[ConorMacNessa]

Ultralite = ANATHEMA!!!

Lamh Foistenach Abu!

[mylife]

I agree.

I like a substantial beer

[mylife]

[Buck W.]

And you won’t after you’ve had one! They’re similar to Chimay.

[ConorMacNessa]

Here's to the man who drinks strong ale and goes to bed quite mellow!

Lamh Foistenach Abu!

[linn37]

Yuengling Lager

[mamelukesabre]

Uhmmm...no.

I didn’t say a thing about ears.

[mylife]

Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmm

[mylife]

Indeed

[Chances Are]

A minor digression here...

Not that the beer is any good (!), but does anyone know what happened to Michelob Aspen?

CA....

[ConorMacNessa]

He is a jolly, jolly fellow - he'll live to be a hundred!

Lamh Foistenach Abu!

[mylife]

[Defiant]

Please tell me the writer isn’t the NY Times Frank Rich, who is an ass and who I find hard to believe could be a beer aficionado.

[ConorMacNessa]

My son, the Sultan of Suds, strongly approves of La Fin Du Monde.

Lamh Foistenach Abu!

[Disciplinemisanthropy]

[mamelukesabre]

You wanna try something truly nasty?

pour a glass of this and let it warm up. Then taste it.

http://www.steelbrewing.com/

I kid you not, it is the nastiest beer on the planet. It will make ultralite taste like sam adams.

[Randy Larsen]

I have a 24 oz. Kilt Lifter in the fridge that scares me to death at 8%...

[ConorMacNessa]

Salvator is an old fave.

Lamh Foistenach Abu!