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Ten green sex sins that can sabotage your love life
Yahoo News ^ | 4/7/10 | Stefanie Iris Weiss

Posted on 04/08/2010 6:25:54 PM PDT by jenk

Sin: Courting by car Why drive for miles to meet up with your lover? Take public transportation to your rendezvous point and go for a long, sensual walk to get your juices flowing.

Or think beyond the steel steering box and turn on your soon-to-be lover with a hike or a bike ride. Way to work up a sweat.

Sin: Poison perfume Synthetic fragrances are so not sexy, baby. What if your bottle of Poison really were poison for your body and the environment? Most perfumes are derived from petroleum, and some contain potential neurotoxins.

Opt for DIY alternatives made from organic essential oils. Vanilla, rose and cinnamon turn guys on; the ladies dig vetiver and cedarwood.

Sin: Eating unsustainable chocolate

Conventional cacao farming is notorious for unsafe working conditions, lack of sustainability and below-poverty wages. Not sexy!

Sin: Ditching birth control

Babies are adorable, but all those gurgling genetic replicas can be major carbon sins. Each one of those "extra" children adds 9,441 metric tons of carbon to the planet.

Sin: Aphrodisiacs courtesy of Big Agra

Whether you're using artichokes, saffron, or ginger (to seduce a woman), or cinnamon, grapes, or peaches (to seduce a man), you'll go further if you get it fresh.

Do all your research, DIY projects, and shopping beforehand so you can be totally spontaneous, like every good little eco-sexual should be.

(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Religion; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: 2screwy2be4real; eww; globalwarming
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Eco-Sex? Yikes. Check out the comments--

"Sins?"

*cough* it's a religion *cough*

1 posted on 04/08/2010 6:25:54 PM PDT by jenk
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To: jenk

There is no Global Warming so go for a drive in the Country and go for a Steak Dinner.

Pray for America


2 posted on 04/08/2010 6:27:52 PM PDT by bray (Throw All the Bums Out, starting with McCain)
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To: jenk

Chocolate as sin???? Oh I don’t think so...This broad is wacked...


3 posted on 04/08/2010 6:27:59 PM PDT by hstacey
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To: jenk

green chicks have hairy armpits


4 posted on 04/08/2010 6:28:13 PM PDT by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: jenk

Is anyone else as hot as I am right now?


5 posted on 04/08/2010 6:28:27 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
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To: hstacey

Ah, yes, sustainable chocolate. Sustainable is every other word with these freaks.


6 posted on 04/08/2010 6:28:45 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: cripplecreek

LOL!


7 posted on 04/08/2010 6:28:59 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: jenk

wh...wha...what...WHAT??


8 posted on 04/08/2010 6:29:00 PM PDT by Drango (A liberal's compassion is limited only by the size of someone else's wallet.)
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To: jenk

If this is satire, it’s very well done.


9 posted on 04/08/2010 6:29:05 PM PDT by Interesting Times (For the truth about "swift boating" see ToSetTheRecordStraight.com)
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To: driftdiver

Sustainable hairy armpits.


10 posted on 04/08/2010 6:29:25 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: Interesting Times

no, she’s serious, dang, I should try some satire.....


11 posted on 04/08/2010 6:30:34 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: jenk

Well, if I ever wondered why the U.S. is in such sad shape right now, this woman has now made everything clear.


12 posted on 04/08/2010 6:31:16 PM PDT by hstacey
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To: Interesting Times

don’t miss the whole article, I edited out a LOT.


13 posted on 04/08/2010 6:31:17 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: hstacey

they are creepy


14 posted on 04/08/2010 6:32:09 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: jenk
I'm guessing steffi spends a lot of relaxing nights "alone".

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
15 posted on 04/08/2010 6:32:43 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
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To: cripplecreek

well, it is green


16 posted on 04/08/2010 6:33:25 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: jenk

She had that
Camarillo brillo
Flamin out along her head,
I mean her mendocino bean-o
By where some bugs had made it red

She ruled the toads
Of the short forest
And every newt in idaho
And every cricket who had chorused
By the bush in buffalo

She said she was
A magic mama
And she could throw a mean tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know

She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn’t done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldnt come in
(I couldnt come in right then...)

And so she wandered
Trough the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An I’d just love it in her room

Well, I was born
To have adventure
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets

She stripped away
Her ranchid poncho
An laid out naked by the door
We did it till we were un-concho
An it was useless any more

She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn’t done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldnt come in
(actually, I was very busy then)

And so she wandered
Trough the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An I’d just love it in her room

Well, I was born
To have adventure
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets

She said she was
A magic mama
And she could throw a mean tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know

(is that a real poncho...i mean
Is that a mexican poncho
Or is that a sears poncho?
Hmmm...no foolin ...)


17 posted on 04/08/2010 6:34:02 PM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
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To: jenk
Wow. Just wow.


18 posted on 04/08/2010 6:35:16 PM PDT by Richard Kimball (We're all criminals. They just haven't figured out what some of us have done yet.)
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To: jenk
Whether you're using artichokes, saffron, or ginger (to seduce a woman), or cinnamon, grapes, or peaches (to seduce a man), you'll go further if you get it fresh.

Hey good looking, I've got a whole basket of fruit and veggies......... would you like to have sex with me?

19 posted on 04/08/2010 6:35:17 PM PDT by umgud (Obama is a failed experiment.)
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To: jenk

While not on this list, I’m pretty sure that if the greenie girls hold to one-square-of-toilet-paper-per-trip theory, their love life will be a bit sabotaged, too.


20 posted on 04/08/2010 6:35:24 PM PDT by digger48
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To: jenk

Maybe they should entitle this article: 10 great ways for heterosexuals to date homosexuals.

I’m surprised they didn’t include a bit about how the sex partners (I won’t say “couples”, because that would be too limited), should always pray to Obama before fornicating.


21 posted on 04/08/2010 6:36:21 PM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy
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To: jenk

I think this is what they mean by “self-parody.”

The item about using birth control because you don’t want to bring carbon-generating babies into the world is basically an argument for human extinction.

Greens hate people. This story is more proof.

Sick, sick, sick ...


22 posted on 04/08/2010 6:36:35 PM PDT by Colonel Blimp (Austriae Est Imperare Orbi Universo)
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To: Interesting Times
It's not satire. Read some of her bio:

"33-year-old Weiss (Sun in Aries, Libra rising, moon in Sagittarius) holds an M.A., and in addition to her writing duties, works as an astrologer and adjunct professor of writing and gender studies at Marymount Manhattan College. In addition to astrology, Weiss has written five self-help books, including Coping With the Beauty Myth: A Guide for Real Girls, and a novel, Starrgazer, which she describes below, and Fate of Your Date, an illustrated advice guide to getting the edge in the dating universe via astrology, face reading and other techniques, which will be published by Chronicle Books in 2006."

the only good thing I see is that she's not butt ugly.

23 posted on 04/08/2010 6:36:46 PM PDT by HighWheeler
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To: jenk; cripplecreek
> well, it is green

Sustainable, too.

24 posted on 04/08/2010 6:37:10 PM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
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To: jenk
Yes, on a HOT, STICKY, HUMID day, take a ride on New Jersey transit at rush hour for transportation for the date after work. Plan on going to a “green” cafe in an “enterprise zone”. For those that don't know what that is, it is an area that is totally trashed and tax dollars are dumped in to give dead beats jobs and lure you in to spend your money there. These “enterprise” zones include, Newark, Trenton and of course Camden - all armpits that are unsafe.

Anyway, if you can get a seat together on the train, enjoy! Soon the temperature will rise as other shove their way on the train. Perspiration will replace the smell of perfume or cologne and someone will either be standing near you or squishing into your seat. You will feel like a limp sardine in a smelly can.

Yes, by all means - make this a dating experience!

25 posted on 04/08/2010 6:37:20 PM PDT by nmh (Intelligent people recognize Intelligent Design (God).)
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To: dayglored

is that your creation?


26 posted on 04/08/2010 6:38:48 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: HighWheeler
Well, we know what she has for brains!

She really needs to STOP writing these “self help” books till she gets the HELP she is screaming for as shown in the nonsense she writes.

27 posted on 04/08/2010 6:39:18 PM PDT by nmh (Intelligent people recognize Intelligent Design (God).)
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To: jenk

Lost me on #1. While in college, a very nice young man was interested in me. I lived several blocks from campus totalling about a mile and a half. He would walk to my house. We would walk to the event. We would walk back. He would walk home.

He proved his committment. I didn’t like walking.

On the third date I said, “Either we double-date or you borrow a car. I like you but not more than I hate walking.” Amazingly, we remained friends.

But, we did not date anymore after that.


28 posted on 04/08/2010 6:40:14 PM PDT by Jemian
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To: HighWheeler

> the only good thing I see is that she's not butt ugly.

I'd probably hit it, if I wasn't already attached. But it would require duct tape -- I can't imagine listening...

29 posted on 04/08/2010 6:40:20 PM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
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To: digger48

yes, by the way, remember never to shake their hands.


30 posted on 04/08/2010 6:40:30 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: jenk

Yep....


31 posted on 04/08/2010 6:41:02 PM PDT by hstacey
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To: Colonel Blimp

did you read the article? yahoo only allows excerpts on FR. She talks about excess children in the article.


32 posted on 04/08/2010 6:41:59 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: jenk
Are these tips for...

...lesbians and men who wish they were?

33 posted on 04/08/2010 6:43:20 PM PDT by unspun (PRAY & WORK FOR FREEDOM - investigatingobama.blogspot.com)
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To: nmh

where do I sign up! LOL! Yikes!


34 posted on 04/08/2010 6:43:39 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: jenk
Sin: Poison perfume Synthetic fragrances are so not sexy, baby. What if your bottle of Poison really were poison for your body and the environment? Most perfumes are derived from petroleum, and some contain potential neurotoxins.

Opt for DIY alternatives made from organic essential oils. Vanilla, rose and cinnamon turn guys on; the ladies dig vetiver and cedarwood.

 

Better yet, drink warm beer and eat hard-boiled eggs for three days before your "green" date.

Now there's a fragrance.

 

   

 

35 posted on 04/08/2010 6:44:33 PM PDT by Fintan (I need to clip my toenails.)
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To: jenk
Sin: Courting by car Why drive for miles to meet up with your lover? Take public transportation to your rendezvous point and go for a long, sensual walk to get your juices flowing.

In college, my husband (then husband wannabe) took me to meet his family. At his parents house, we went for a ride in his dad's big 4-wheeler and took a long walk through a field where the two of them shot a bag full of quail for dinner.

Sin: Eating unsustainable chocolate

We're not big on chocolate but do enjoy beef. Cattle reproduce quickly so they're sustainable and eating them is something we can feel good about.

36 posted on 04/08/2010 6:45:23 PM PDT by fso301
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To: unspun

No, the world. We are supposed to adhere! (By the way, aren’t most men lesbians?)


37 posted on 04/08/2010 6:45:31 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: unspun
Good evening.

You may not know this about me, but I'm a lesbian in sheep's clothing.

5.56mm

38 posted on 04/08/2010 6:45:39 PM PDT by M Kehoe
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To: jenk; Willie Green
Take public transportation to your rendezvous point and go for a long, sensual walk to get your juices flowing.

Relevant to your interests...

39 posted on 04/08/2010 6:45:49 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear (Does not play well with others.)
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To: cripplecreek

LOL. But seriously, she probably has some cats.


40 posted on 04/08/2010 6:46:00 PM PDT by MichiganConservative (A government big enough to do unto the people you don't like will get to doing unto you soon enough.)
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To: Fintan

yeah, that would be a green date on a tight budget, perfect for those hardcore, “I ain’t got time to get to know ya,” meetings.


41 posted on 04/08/2010 6:47:28 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: HighWheeler

I don’t think silicon is very green.


42 posted on 04/08/2010 6:48:26 PM PDT by PA Engineer (Liberate America from the occupation media.)
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To: jenk
Just hang out with a bunch of liberals and you can experience this.

Another suggestion, instead of giving your date flowers, heck give her a recycled shirt or old jeans that she can to to the GAP and get 30% off her next purchase of recycled clothing!

43 posted on 04/08/2010 6:49:08 PM PDT by nmh (Intelligent people recognize Intelligent Design (God).)
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To: PA Engineer

it can be tinted


44 posted on 04/08/2010 6:49:16 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: jenk
Did you guys catch this little gem:

...adds 9,441 metric tons of carbon to the planet.

Pray tell, how do you add carbon to the planet? Is this done through asteroids? Where does one go to find 9,441 metric tons of carbon in outer space? Mercury is solid rock, Venus is to hot to land ... I know, it most be Mars. Yeah ... all those mountains of carbon on Mars are being torn down, packaged and hurled into space so they will descend into earth's orbit. One for every kid. Why with millions of babies being born each year, we must be hit by BILLIONS of tons of carbon.

... Idiots.

45 posted on 04/08/2010 6:49:32 PM PDT by taxcontrol
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To: dayglored

OK - I’d hit it.

Right after I slapped on some Brute and stopped by a fast food joint in my Hummer for a double cheeseburger and a chocolate shake.


46 posted on 04/08/2010 6:49:51 PM PDT by reagan_fanatic (Entitlements will do to America what drugs eventually do to addicts)
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To: jenk

Nothing gets our house ‘in the mood’ more than when I come in smelling of gasoline, wiping old motor oil off my hands, and then crank the a/c down and take a looong hot shower. Afterwords I’d like a big greasy burger with a side of something swimming in transfat.


47 posted on 04/08/2010 6:51:50 PM PDT by Pan_Yan
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To: jenk
Firstly, I thought that the Left didn't recognize "sin" as a concept?

Secondly, I thought every manner of perversion was now a "lifestyle choice"?

Thirdly, I thought if I was to say to someone else, "you are committing a sin", then I was supposed to be an ill-mannered, small-minded, arrogant, pea-brained religious nut who was only interested in using my own biased set of unreasonable values to force and control others into unfair compliance with my backward, silly values.

Oh wait, that's right...THE LIBERALS ARE MORE EQUAL THAN I AM AND HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO DICTATE HOW I AM SUPPOSED TO BEHAVE, BECAUSE THEY ARE SMARTER THAN I AM.

[/SARCASM]

You have to laugh; these people think that they actually have some kind of political future after November.

48 posted on 04/08/2010 6:52:28 PM PDT by 50sDad (The Left cannot understand life is not in a test tube. Raise taxes, & jobs go away.)
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To: taxcontrol
They are the new hippies. As far as I can figure out though, they hate big pharma, so this is a natural state for them.

Scary.

Fun to ridicule though.

49 posted on 04/08/2010 6:52:32 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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To: 50sDad

Global Warming is a religion, so these are it’s sins.


50 posted on 04/08/2010 6:53:32 PM PDT by jenk (Ain't no party like my Nanna's tea party....)
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