(-:~ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd~:-)

[Lucky9teen]

"And in a major reversal of U.S. policy, President Obama has narrowed the conditions under which we would use nuclear weapons. He said we'd only use them against Iran, North Korea or Fox News." –Jay Leno

"President Obama has come out with a new policy for using nuclear weapons. In a related story, Joe Biden said he would try not to drop the F-bomb so often." –Jay Leno

"The United States and Russia have signed a historic nuclear weapons treaty. Apparently, Russia is getting a little nervous. They heard we had successfully mounted a warhead on a Toyota Prius." –Jay Leno

"Next week, the president of China will be at the White House. And good news — he has no plans to foreclose." –Jay Leno

"Well, give you an idea how important this visit is from the Chinese president, I understand Joe Biden is busy learning some Chinese curse words." –Jay Leno


"Well, earlier today, President Obama threw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals' home opener against the Philadelphia Phillies. And then Vice President Joe Biden was thrown out for cursing at the umpire." –Jay Leno

"Actually, President Obama didn't actually throw the ball. He got it to the catcher's mitt through a series of back-door dealings." –Jay Leno

"Last night, President Obama gave a speech at the Boston Opera House. It was a long night, because you know what they say about the opera: 'It ain't over until the fat lady gets lectured on her eating habits by Michelle Obama.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Michelle Obama held a town hall meeting on C-SPAN to answer questions from kids about her anti-obesity campaign. The most popular question from kids was, 'Why are you doing this to us, lady?'" –Jimmy Fallon

[wyokostur]

Remember...Fav book titles

40 Yards to the Latrine
by Willy Makeit and Betty Wont

Yellow Rivers
by I.P. Freely

http://www.lulu.com/product/e-book/the-yellow-river/3312384?productTrackingContext=center_search_results

Under the Bleachers
by Seemoer Butts

Animal Illnesses
by Ann Thrax

The Scent of a Man
by Jim Nasium

The French Chef
by Sue Flay

Unemployed
by Anita Job

Irish Flooring
by Lynn O’Leum

[secret garden]

That’s from an episode of Will and Grace for how to choose your drag queen name, only your first name is your first pet’s name.