Seattle writer wins bad fiction contest

upi. ^ | June 30, 2010

[JoeProBono]

SEATTLE, - A Seattle author was named the winner of a contest to create an opening sentence to begin the worst possible novel.

Molly Ringle, who has published one novel with two more on the way, was declared the winner of the 28th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a bad-writing contest sponsored by San Jose State University, the California school said.

"For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss -- a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil," Ringle's prize-winning sentence read.

[OldPossum]

Please do. Reading some of those “It was a dark and stormy night” intros, I had to hold my tummy I was laughing so hard.

[BufordP]

Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil,

Jerry lathered the butcher knife with copious amounts raspberry jam and freshly churned butter and began applying the breakfast concoction to her supple bossom and midsection - Molly was toast.

Molly Ringle, I got two words for ya, bite mei.

41½ posted on 06/30/2010 8:34:05 PM EDT by Jerry Bull (I'm going to do something to you, something bad.)

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To: 3D-Joy; 50mm; AGreatPer; calcowgirl; cindyTrueSupporter; concretebob; Disco Dave; Doctor Raoul; ...

ping!

If you want off my ping list get over it!

Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil,

Jerry lathered the butcher knife with copious amounts raspberry jam and freshly churned butter and began applying the breakfast concoction to her supple bossom and midsection - Molly was toast.

Molly Ringle, I got two words for ya, bite mei.

ping!

If you want off my ping list get over it!

[SunkenCiv]

Reality TV and The View and is going to put this contest right out of business.

[DainBramage]

Here’s a link to the after thread! A wellesley wench

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1043918/posts

[JoeProBono]

[50mm]

Click the gerbil pirate and watch the video!

[ErnBatavia]

If it doesn’t include “hot, throbbing member” in the first sentence, followed by “glistening honeypot” in the second, I ain’t bothering......

[RightOnline]

Turns out it is the same contest.......only it has been expanded and no longer HAS to start with “It was a dark and stormy night...” the way it used to.

This link on this thread.......same contest. Laughed so hard I hurt......:)

[BufordP]

ACTION PACKED!

[50mm]

Richard Gere gives it two thumbs up!

[RightOnline]

This one just for you.....:)

Winner: Purple Prose

The dark, drafty old house was lopsided and decrepit, leaning in on itself, the way an aging possum carrying a very heavy, overcooked drumstick in his mouth might list to one side if he were also favoring a torn Achilles tendon, assuming possums have them.

Scott Davis Jones

Valley Village, CA

[OldPossum]

Thanks. That was good.

The possum angle was nice, too.

I wonder whether someone will compile all these hilarious intros into a book?

[dangerdoc]

bump

[Sensei Ern]

I just read the testimony of the massuese raped by Al Gore. It would be a close second.

[JoeProBono]