Posted on 10/13/2010 9:26:50 PM PDT by tired1
DEMOCRATIC You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICANISM You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
AMERICAN BUREAUCRACY You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class.
GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature' s private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
POLISH CORPORATION You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Most are illegals. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders
Islam- You have 2 cows. The local Imam takes one. One of his followers blows up the other one because you milked it without facing Mecca.
Un-canny parallel with obama/Reid/Pelosi-care...
Islam- You have 2 cows. The local Imam takes one. One of his followers blows up the other one because you milked it without facing Mecca.
Good one! Bump
That was good. Thanks.
Bookmarked.
That was good.
However, based on the Poles I know, I’d say the Polish Corporation should be changed to a San Francisco Corporation.
OBAMA: You have two cows. One of them starts leaking milk from its udder. You declare a moratorium on milking the other cow.
This is hilarious...
Well said. Well said.
Made my day. Thanks
CAMBODIAN CORPORATION: You had two cows, but a crazy farang backpacker paid you $200 U.S. to fire a 30-year old RPG at it outside of Kambol firing range. So now you have one cow, and she’s getting nervous about the way you’re counting all that money...
CHICAGO: You have two cows, but by counting those dead cows hanging in the butcher shops, all women named “Elsie,” and Rosie O’Donnell, you have enough votes to win the mayoral election.
DEMOCRATIC (voter) Your neighbor has two cows. He worked hard to buy them. You have none. You have been taught that you are your neighbor’s victim. You vote for politicians who force your neighbor to do all the work feeding and milking the cows and then force your neighbor to give you half the milk. It’s all Bush’s fault.
DEMOCRATIC (politician) You demonize people who own cows. You get elected (see above), and then you take over control of the cows through laws and regulations backed by threat of force. You dictate to the people who own cows how to raise and milk them. The cows die, and people stop raising cows. It’s all Bush’s fault.
Department of Interior: millions of cows but no one can milk them. See: Endangered Species Act.
Michigan Corporation: cows are often drunk, stoned, and/or unemployed. See also “Chrysler cows.”
LOL, I love the cow thing! This has some that are new to me, the Belgian one is very good, that’s about where they are right now I guess.
My fave remains the Italian cow owner, I’m glad to see it included!
U.S. Senate: You have two cows. Their names are Barbara Mikulski and Debbie Stabenow.
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