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Thief stuffs turkey down pants
nypost.com ^
| Nov. 5, 2010
| JAMIE SCHRAM and SERGEY KADINSKY
Posted on 11/05/2010 7:45:00 PM PDT by Free ThinkerNY
This birdbrained bandit took turkey stuffing to a whole new level.
A Brooklyn teen was caught on video shoving a 12-pound turkey breast into his baggy sweatpants -- and then waddling out of a Bed-Stuy grocery with an irate butcher hot on his trail, sources said yesterday.
"He's got a big turkey in his pants!" Fine Fare Grocery cashier Michelle Benjamin yelled to butcher Sergio Marte, who chased down alleged poultry poacher Deon Williams, 19, outside the Marcus Garvey Boulevard store.
"You have something in your pants!" Marte barked at Williams, who squealed back, "I'll give it to you -- don't touch me!"
"I don't want to touch you -- just give me the turkey!" Marte demanded.
Williams dumped it on the street, and when Marte bent over to pick it up, the teen clocked him in the jaw, the butcher said.
"He swung at me, and then he ran," the 42-year-old butcher said, showing off a still-swollen cheek.
The brazen heist was caught on surveillance video, and cops nabbed Williams on Wednesday.
As for the turkey, it went right back on the shelf.
Marte insisted the $84 worth of Boar's Head Oven Gold "was in good condition."
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: napl; pants; stuffs; thief; thingsinpants; turkey
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To: Free ThinkerNY
Oh, and look, it’s another young, urban victim of socio-economic disparity committing the crime. Shocking.
21
posted on
11/05/2010 9:08:45 PM PDT
by
NohSpinZone
(First thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers)
To: CTOCS
OK, thanks for the deli info. It was really just a joke.
22
posted on
11/05/2010 9:15:30 PM PDT
by
TigersEye
(Who crashed the markets on 9/28/08 and why?)
To: All; Free ThinkerNY
Checking in just for the snappy one-liners.
23
posted on
11/05/2010 9:35:45 PM PDT
by
ARepublicanForAllReasons
(Borders, laws and language are what define us (USA) as a country. Let's guard them well.)
To: Free ThinkerNY
“He’s got a big turkey in his pants!”
And if he still has it after four hours, he should go to the emergency room.
24
posted on
11/05/2010 10:00:11 PM PDT
by
july4thfreedomfoundation
(2010 was the start of the house cleaning......on to 2012 for further victories!)
To: PERKY2004; Clay Moore; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; ...
Do you have “Turkey in your pants” pinglist? Yes, but it's very low-volume.
25
posted on
11/05/2010 10:24:52 PM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: Slings and Arrows
They’re prosecuting this poor, oppressed member of the currently-ruling class who is probably starving because of rich white people? Someone should call Eric Holder (if he isn’t out of the country on tour) and have him released immediately. The deli should give him the turkey breast (who the heck would buy the filthy thing anyway, after it was in his pants? — just eeeewwww) and apologize for bruising his hand on the butcher’s face.
Later he’ll get a job in the zer0 administration because he has had so much experience overcoming.
26
posted on
11/06/2010 7:40:57 AM PDT
by
TheOldLady
(The only way to run our country is conservatively.)
To: TheOldLady
27
posted on
11/06/2010 8:19:42 AM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: Slings and Arrows
They can sell it
at
a premium now that it’s been stuffed.
28
posted on
11/06/2010 8:35:50 AM PDT
by
paulycy
(Demand Constitutionality. Save America From Bankruptcy.)
To: paulycy
29
posted on
11/06/2010 8:41:41 AM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: Slings and Arrows
30
posted on
11/06/2010 8:41:53 AM PDT
by
TheOldLady
(The only way to run our country is conservatively.)
To: Slings and Arrows
Turkey is 7 bucks a pound in NYC?
I knew the price of living differed but that is ridiculous. I can get it from the deli $2.49.
If I want to roast it myself I can get it for $0.89.
31
posted on
11/06/2010 2:23:49 PM PDT
by
Harmless Teddy Bear
(When all you have is bolt cutters & vodka everything looks like the lock on Wolf Blitzer's boathouse)
To: Harmless Teddy Bear
New Yorkers are crazy - why else would they live in New York?
32
posted on
11/06/2010 7:40:23 PM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: PERKY2004; Slings and Arrows
33
posted on
11/08/2010 7:55:20 AM PST
by
a fool in paradise
(The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
To: Free ThinkerNY
To: a fool in paradise; PERKY2004
There is a ThingsInPants keyword... When did we start talking about Hillary?
35
posted on
11/08/2010 10:15:10 AM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: Slings and Arrows
36
posted on
11/08/2010 10:22:29 AM PST
by
a fool in paradise
(The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
To: Lancey Howard
37
posted on
11/08/2010 10:22:48 AM PST
by
a fool in paradise
(The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
To: a fool in paradise
38
posted on
11/08/2010 10:30:13 AM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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