Posted on 01/07/2011 5:02:05 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Top 25!
Top 22!?!
Below 28!
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque.
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
During last night's high winds an African family was killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said, "We didn't even know they were living up there."
Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown five times a week now.
I was reading in the newspaper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low!
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day .
You work 40 years until you're too young to work.
You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then.....you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions, central heating, room service on tap, and then...
You finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case.
Re; last photo- get your feet off the president’s desk, you sorry pos!
ROTFLMAO!!!
Woo-hoo!! Top 50!!
Out of Texas
This good ol’ Texan cruises thru a stop sign and gets pulled over by a local policeman. Guy hands the cop his driver’s license, insurance verification, plus his concealed carry permit.
“Okay, Mr. Smith,” the cop says, “I see your CCW permit. Are you carrying today?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Well then, better tell me what you got.”
Smith says, “Well, I got a .357 revolver in my inside coat pocket. There’s a 9mm semi-auto in the glove box. And, I’ve got a .22 magnum derringer in my right boot.”
“Okay,” the cop says. “Anything else?”
“Yeah, back in the trunk, there’s an AR15 and a shotgun. That’s about it.”
“Mr. Smith, are you on your way to or from a gun range...?”
“Nope.”
“Well then, what are you afraid of?”
“Not a darned thing.”
Did you see post #3, by any chance?
Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the Department of Homeland Security
Terrorist Plots Discovered ..... 0
Transvestites..... 133
Hernias..... 1,485
Hemorrhoid Cases..... 3,172
Enlarged Prostates..... 8,249
Breast Implants..... 59,350
Natural Blondes..... 3
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