Skip to comments.Need to blow off steam. I feel like my life is utterly pointless.
Posted on 02/16/2011 9:31:50 AM PST by JamesP81
I don't really have anybody I can talk to about this that would understand. I don't expect FR too either, but it's as good a place as any to vent.
You know what I do? I get up every day and go to work. I do my job and get my work done. I come home. I do it again the next day. And then again, and again, and again.
When I am dead, the most anyone will ever say about me is "he went to work ever day". If I were to simply drop dead, everything would pretty much be as if I had never lived. I have accomplished nothing noteworthy and I don't expect to. When my life is over with, the world will not be a better place, no one's lives will have been improved, and the evil that lives in the world will not have been pushed back.
This leaves me feeling....sick inside my soul. As if something is very, very wrong. The only thing I really look forward to is burying myself in the mundane of the normal to the degree that I do not think about these things. By and large this works, but some days I take my head out of the sand, and the result of that is days like today.
I've tried many things. When I was in school, I spent time every week in a nursing home. It did the folks there good to see anybody. But it did not fill the void. I am a blackbelt in karate and used to exercise a lot. It was good for me, but it did not fill the void. I have good friends, but I don't see them as much as I used to. We're all out of college, have jobs, and some have kids now. But even during the heyday of college, I couldn't fill the void with other people. I have hobbies. They're fun, but they leave me empty. I don't want to drop everything and be a drifter, but I don't want to sit still. I am not into carousing and having casual sex with whatever comes along. Never have been, and I'm fairly certain it would make me feel worse. I am a Christian; I do not speak to God as much as I should, but I do at times. He is supposed to have purpose for me, but I don't know what it is. I hope He has something for me other than work 9-5 until I'm dead.
A lot of people will say that your purpose is what you make of it. Every bit of evidence and observation I have tells me that's true. Yet I don't believe it, and never have.
In before "man up you wuss".
Ever since I was a kid, I felt I had a purpose, but couldn’t figure out what it was. I’ve done all kinds of things looking to find my purpose. I eventually accepted Christ. That feeling was still there until I started serving God. Now, I know I’m doing what I was supposed to do. The void is filled.
God is calling you. You need to talk to Him more and allow Him to talk to you through His word. You’re a Christian, so you’re already set apart. You may have a higher calling.
Pray for God to reveal himself to you. In the mean time, learn to be content. Remember to be “joyful always, pray continuously and give thanks to God in all circumstances”. (this is somewhere in Thessalonias) You would be amazed at how things change when you start saying “thank you, God” for EVERYTHING, good, bad, ugly and indifferent.
I’m glad you posted. There’s something drawing you. God says, you draw closer to Him and He’ll draw closer to you. Seek and ye shall find. Start praying!!!
It sounds as though the Lord *is* working in your life! If he were not, you wouldn’t have written this. Most people go through life content with material wealth, or health, or entertainment, or family, or friends. Especially here in the U.S., where we have so many of our material needs met. Jesus said that it was difficult for a rich, comfortable man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, because he didn’t feel as though he lacked anything.
Jesus had the vast universe at his disposal - his becoming a limited man was more torture than we can imagine. But he did it because he loved us so much. He even kept his corporeal body - he will show us the nails in his hands someday — the ones he put there for us, on our behalf. He’s pleading with the Father for you as you pray.
You are on the right track - read through Ecclesiastes - the way you are feeling is absolutely known to God. You will find exactly how you are feeling in that book, and the answers lie in the book as well.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”
Not going to give you any advice because all advice is ****.
I’m in a similar position to you. I wake up each morning cursing the very moment I was conceived. Life is a curse, the worst curse imaginable and we all earned it for the unforgivable crime of merely existing. It has gotten to the point where I am a complete nihilist. I’m supposed to be passionate about helping people in a job that requires extreme commitment and courage...yet I just don’t care anymore...even though I have barely started it.
The power of evil and insanity in the world has rendered everything completely pointless. I don’t even love anyone because it leads to nothing but pain. It is impossible to save anyone or to make any positive difference.
I can save someone’s life today and it would accomplish nothing but dooming that person to tomorrow’s brutal fate.
I am not a Christian or even remotely spiritual and it’s probably never going to happen at this rate. It is absolutely incomprehensible to me how anyone can have a spiritual life based on nothing but words in an ancient book or some naive vision of the “beauty of creation” or some such nonsense. This world is 100% horror. Even the ‘good stuff’ is merely another reflection of horror and evil. Maybe there is a God and a heaven out there but I’ll never know. By the time I find out it will be too late and I’ll wind up in hell anyway.
Don’t know what to tell you. We are basically ****ed. The only reason to stay alive is out of an arbitrary sense of duty. Hopefully death will take us soon. That’s the only remaining hope.
pick up a copy of “the hour that changes the world” and read it....
pick up a copy of “the hour that changes the world” and read it....
Take a few months off. Travel and see the world. Get out of North America and experience life as most humans live.
Never forget — there are, literally, billions of people on this planet that would do anything to have the life that you describe.
You and I could be twin brothers from different mothers.
For me I find great satisfaction in work and by that I mean finding ways to help others become more productive and efficient. For, by doing so, I’m helping people (including myself) to increase their job security.
I enjoy gardening and giving away the produce but also beautifying a plot of land.
Find someone who is worse off than you and invest yourself in them. Teach them. Help them become more than they are; give yourself away.
James, we have all been there, or will be there one day.
Pray without ceasing.
Alcohol does not dull the pain, only your thinking ability. Therefore, it makes life even more difficult to get through.
Dude if this is the least of your worries. Be thankful. WOuld you like to hear bout my life. Pick a problem. I have it.
I have felt like that in my past. I now have a wife and two sons (ages 3 and 6). I don’t have time to worry about myself, what I have and have not accomplished, or anything. I dedicate my efforts to taking care of my family. I still dedicate time to my hobbies, but nothing significant. My primary focus is not on me. It’s on those who depend on me and who I love. I’ve never been happier in my life.
When I’m gone, there will be two people who (I hope and pray) will say, “My father was the greatest hero of my life”. I say that about my own father who is no longer with us. I completely agree with the following quote:
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Maria Child
Please see a doctor, friend. As soon as possible.
Please also stay in touch. I know that many of us on this thread are very concerned about you.
Beer has alcohol in it? Wow, who knew?
Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them.
Orison Swett Marden
Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them.
Orison Swett Marden
First of all, ignore any snarky comments on this thread. You are reaching out to us and some of us know exactly what you are going through. If you want, feel free to write me privately.
What others have said may be right: you might have a serious case of depression - a condition that can be either controlled or cured. So please go to a good doctor - preferably a psychiatrist. Make sure the psychiatrist is sympathetic and kind. If he/she is not, get the hell out of the office. Then, take your meds - all the while keeping in touch with your doctor - if meds aren’t taken properly and monitored by a doctor - they can lead to even more problems. When correctly applied, they can change your life.
It also sounds to me like you HATE your job. There is nothing more depressing than being in the wrong job. Here, I truly feel for you.
There are many kind people on this board - and many will recommend that you return to God. Although I can’t really believe, I would take their advice.
Good luck to you, God bless you and keep in touch. Miss M cares!
Volunteer to help the poor or the disabled at the VA or cancer kids at St.Jude.
helping others less fortunate takes the focus off your problems and you see how fortunate you are, even if you don’t feel that way.
Has anyone noticed James seems to have not involved himself in his own thread? Hmmmmm.
I experience that, too, from time to time. But I don’t sit in it.
Focus on God’s love. Read the Psalms. Meditate on them (as Chuck Missler says, “digest them”.)
Hollywood, TV and literature have given us a false impression of what life is really about. Finding yourself and your purpose is NOT a productive use of time. Seeking God is.
100 years ago people were working 14 hours a day on their farms just trying to survive. We now do it between 9-5, which leaves us more time for other things.
Life won’t make you happy. It isn’t designed to. You won’t find fulfillment in external things. And America’s obsession with HAPPINESS is foolhardy. Feeling happy 24/7 is an unrealistic standard.
Find a way to become useful. Volunteer somewhere. Hospital, animal shelter.
This life is temporary. Our real reward is on the other side.
And as someone else posted, life isn’t about what others say about you when you are dead, or the “mark you make” on the world.
If the other 6 billion people on the Earth hate you, but God loves you, you should be ok with that.
Hope that helps. Don’t mean to preach or lecture. I’m telling myself as much as I’m telling you.
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