Posted on 08/22/2011 3:27:43 PM PDT by decimon
COLUMBIA, Mo. – A new University of Missouri study finds that boys feel that discussing problems is a waste of time.
“For years, popular psychologists have insisted that boys and men would like to talk about their problems but are held back by fears of embarrassment or appearing weak,” said Amanda J. Rose, associate professor of psychological sciences in the MU College of Arts and Science. “However, when we asked young people how talking about their problems would make them feel, boys didn’t express angst or distress about discussing problems any more than girls. Instead, boys’ responses suggest that they just don’t see talking about problems to be a particularly useful activity.”
Rose and her colleagues conducted four different studies that included surveys and observations of nearly 2,000 children and adolescents. The researchers found that girls had positive expectations for how talking about problems would make them feel, such as expecting to feel cared for, understood and less alone. On the other hand, boys did not endorse some negative expectations more than girls, such as expecting to feel embarrassed, worried about being teased, or bad about not taking care of the problems themselves. Instead, boys reported that talking about problems would make them feel “weird” and like they were “wasting time.”
(Excerpt) Read more at munews.missouri.edu ...
Actually, my Marine will always listen if I need to vent, but his policy is “don’t talk about it, just fix it”.
Most Psychologists are drawing Their beer money out of Medicare & Medicaid.
It kind’a makes you feel all warm & fuzzy like, don’t it, knowing that their right on top of such a heretofore undisclosed commonplace, and sending your Parents the Bill for it in the form of higher co-pays.
My husband read an article once that said women use three times the number of words per day that a man uses. Occasionally my husband will say, “I’ve used my 10,000 words today”... that is when I know he needs some quiet time. ;^)
Dumb thread.
Well, it sounds like you worked out a great problem-solving strategy!
I don’t want to talk about it!
Uh huh.
They aren't women haters at all; they are men.
They put up with incessant chatter out of respect.
Men are hardwired to "fix" things, to be "doers" not talkers.
A great male-female conversation goes this way: "Honey, the toilet is running."
"Did you rattle the handle?"
"Yes."
"Is it backed up?"
"Nope."
"Got it," the man remarks, getting up to retrieve his tool kit and head for the bathroom.
A bad male-female conversation: "Honey, that toilet is really bothering me."
"What's wrong?"
"It's making a squeaking noise and wasting a ton of water. You know, it's going to run up the water bill, I know it! We're in a drought right now..."
"What kind of noise?"
"An obnoxious squeaking noise. Can't you hear it? It kept me up all night last night. Between your snoring and that noise, I had a terrible day at work."
"What kind of squeaking noise?" the man huffs impatiently.
"Didn't you hear me? I told you already. You never listen. That's the problem in this relationship...you don't listen and you don't value me as a person..."
The man, frustrated, gets up to retrieve his tool box, which causes his partner to grow extremely agitated; a squabble ensues, and the toilet is not fixed.
FTR, I'm a woman.
Very true.
Jeff Foxworthy: ‘What’s he thinking? Ladies I’ll tell you what he’s thinking: I’d like a beer and I’d like to see something naked.’ Simple creatures. :-D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swEE_XsBsdM
Fell:)
I was at the gym the other day working out with my buddy. My buddy Joey. And he goes “hey, man, I’m getting a divorce.” I said “Wow, that sucks. Can you spot me?”
That was our whole conversation! So then I go home to my wife, and I say “Hey, Joey is getting a divorce.”
She goes “Oh, my God! What happened?”
“I dunno.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Is she cheating on him, is he cheating on her?”
“Again, I’m not holding anything back here, I don’t know!”
She goes “Bill, someone tells you they’re getting a divorce and you don’t ask any questions?”
And I go “Well, that’s because he didn’t ask me a question! He didn’t say ‘hey Bill, what do you think about me getting a divorce?’, he said, ‘I’m getting a divorce’, which said to me, ‘I require no further input on your part.’” If he had said ‘What do you think about me getting a divorce?’, I’d have said, ‘Well, you’re gonna be dating again, so you should work on your abs’.
- Bill Engvall
[My, my the woman-haters are out in force tonight! Here, all over the Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Christine O’Donnell threads. What a delight to be at FR at moments like this.]
I see there is a problem you’d like to discuss. Oooops, I’m out of time.
We’re sentimental like that.
Heh-heh, yeah. I’ve had to get good at asking all the questions I know my wife is going to ask me when I get a bit of news. I got tired of feeling stupid when I had to answer “I don’t know” to a string of questions to which I didn’t really need the answers in the first place!
Here is something for anyone hoping someone cares about your problems. The sad truth is virtually nobody cares about your problems. Not even your mother. Nor should they. If you have a problem, do your best to resolve it without boring people to death. Because they really don’t care. Quit whining and sniveling, get down to work, and you will resolve most of your problems. Remember: virtually nobody wants to hear about your awful problem. Well, maybe your mother, but after a few minutes of listening to your blubbering, she’ll want to hit you over the head with a crowbar.
So, all the 300-comment threads here at FR are women’s work? Who’d-a-thunk-it?
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