Pondering What to Bring on Thanksgiving? Use This Chart

Chow.com ^ | Nov 11,3011 | James Norton

[Daffynition]

Accept an invitation for Thanksgiving and you figure you’re in the clear: no need to get up at 4 a.m. to wrestle a corpse-cold turkey out of a bathtub filled with ice and brine. Only—damn!—you promised you’d bring something, and this is probably the one day of the year when you can't show up with some dusty bottle of cooked Cabernet from the corner market. So here, in convenient flow-chart format, a system for deciding that gnawing question: What to bring?

[Daffynition]

[Chickensoup]

Relatives hate conservatives:

Bring one meat stuffed turkey with venison sauce and beef drippings.

And one 10 point wall mount buck head.

[KarlInOhio]

Bring one meat stuffed turkey with venison sauce and beef drippings.

Along with the story about how you captured and waterboarded a few of the smaller turkeys in order to gain intelligence on where the big one was hiding.

[Chickensoup]

Along with the story about how you captured and waterboarded a few of the smaller turkeys in order to gain intelligence on where the big one was hiding

That is the best!!!

[Red_Devil 232]

I Like The Bombers of Ale Sugestion

But Make It An Abbey Triple For Me, Please.

[GOP Poet]

I like it!!! I might add a beautiful tooth pick staked American flag stuck in the breast for best affect :-). Me? I would also be humming "America the Beautiful" as they opened the door as an added auditory opening act. Maybe outright sing a few bars while I am assisting in the kitchen while complementing Ray Charles an Alicia Keys version.

No white demmie can be caught dead demeaning a black man or woman ya know. Thus they can't say anything negative at that point about the song.

[knittnmom]

LOL!

[GOP Poet]

Hell why not throw in a bear rug for full affect? :-D. Even better if you can see it from the table as you say prayers before diggin' in.

I have a few faux fur type items in my house (tastefully of course) and it drives my liberal in-laws crazy as they literally sucked in air when I first brought out a blanket. They thought it was real and the horror ensued. I was ROTFL as I told them it was faux. Liberals are beyond mental. Definitely the new Nazis.

[bgill]

Relatives hate each other and me, here. My house, my rules. Sit down, shut up, and compliment me on the meal.

BTW, never understood why anyone gets up at 4 AM to put the bird in the oven. 7 AM is early enough even for a big boy to be ready by lunch.

[Daffynition]

We usually have *native* birds [locally grown] and b/c they have never been frozen, they only take 11 min/pound to roast.

I'll miss not having a *wild* caught turkey this year....

[Daffynition]

LOL...This is stolen: *Grenades, ricin, plastic tarps, bleach and a chainsaw.*

and the chart didn't include the .......

[Daffynition]

No longer allowed. :)