"You guys got any of them milkshakes that my wife Moochelle likes to drink...can I have mine with a straw?"
Posted on 12/23/2011 11:35:25 AM PST by Feckless
A black guy, an illegal alien, a Muslim, and a communist walk into a bar.
The bartender asks, "What can I get you Mr. President?"
Nixon,Clinton and Obama die and go to heaven.God is in a chair judging them.Nixon says I’m sorry I lied.Clinton says I’m sorry I cheated on my wife.Obama says get out of my chair.
Yep, the joke is missing a fifth guy.
You nailed it.
There were four of them. You forgot the h*mo.
Two Irishman walk out of a bar.....................no, really, it can happen.
Muslim walks into a bar with a chihuahah on his shoulder. Bartender yells, hey, get that hairy mongrol out of here.
Chihuahua says, sorry.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before:
Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.
The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168”. The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says,” What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”. Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”, and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close and says, “So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?”
Musta been a gay bar…
Guy goes to his doctor with a bad stomach ache.
Doc says, “go to the window and stick your tongue out”.
Guy complies and after awhile and finally asks, “this is a strange treatment. Will it really help my stomach?”
Doc says, “no, I just don’t like the guy across the street”.
Guy says to his therapist, “doc, you gotta help me. I don’t know if I’m a teepee or a wigwam”.
Doc says, “the problem is you’re too tense”.
A neutrino walks into a bar.
(Generic joke I use to annoy my wife when she accuses me of being funny...)
Three guys walk into a bar.
“Ow!”
“Ow!”
“Ow!”
You’d think the third guy would have noticed.
That’s like...man... a quantum joke, yes?
That’s funny.
Yeah.... we both laughed before we read it.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.