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Misunderstanding
July 27, 2012 | NKP__Vet

Posted on 07/27/2012 9:34:24 PM PDT by NKP_Vet

The wife left a note on the fridge . . . . . . . .

"It's not working!! I can't take it anymore: I've gone to stay at my mothers!"

I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was still cold . . . . . .

What the hell is she talking about?!!


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: beer; genderwars

1 posted on 07/27/2012 9:34:31 PM PDT by NKP_Vet
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To: NKP_Vet

Oh lookie there, I’ve got another fish on the line!


2 posted on 07/27/2012 9:36:22 PM PDT by 23 Everest (When seconds count. The police are just 23 minutes away. 831 Bonnie)
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To: NKP_Vet
Either the AC is out, the PC won't boot up or her favorite...um...errr..."toy"...is out of batteries.

That's all I've got.

3 posted on 07/27/2012 9:39:56 PM PDT by philman_36 (Pride breakfasted with plenty, dined with poverty, and supped with infamy. Benjamin Franklin)
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To: NKP_Vet

Uh, maybe she is referring to the marriage....


4 posted on 07/27/2012 9:46:58 PM PDT by Die_Hard Conservative Lady (When all the working class leave California what will be left?)
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To: NKP_Vet
Wimmens are hard to figger out sometimes.

My wife gets mad at me and says she doesn't want to speak to me.

I smile and give her a "thumbs-up."

She gets even madder.

A guy just can't win....(shrug)...good thing I have an account at the bottle shop.
5 posted on 07/27/2012 9:50:43 PM PDT by Tainan (Cogito, ergo conservatus sum)
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To: NKP_Vet

LOL!

Thanks, we all need some comic relief nowadays!


6 posted on 07/27/2012 9:54:36 PM PDT by sarasmom ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xZsFe6dM3EY)
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To: NKP_Vet

Obama’s economy!


7 posted on 07/27/2012 9:59:30 PM PDT by ThomasThomas
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To: NKP_Vet

Don’t drink alcohol with Calais.


8 posted on 07/27/2012 10:01:03 PM PDT by Kartographer ("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
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To: NKP_Vet

I’ll tell ya, my wife and I, we don’t think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!


9 posted on 07/27/2012 10:01:10 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong!)
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To: NKP_Vet

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.


10 posted on 07/27/2012 10:02:27 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong!)
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To: NKP_Vet

LOL! Good stuff.


11 posted on 07/27/2012 10:04:08 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (The NRA did not create James "The Joker" Holmes. Harvey Weinstein's Hollywood did.)
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To: NKP_Vet

Did you check the freezer?


12 posted on 07/27/2012 10:05:02 PM PDT by so_real ( "The Congress of the United States recommends and approves the Holy Bible for use in all schools.")
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To: NKP_Vet

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.


13 posted on 07/27/2012 10:07:10 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong!)
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To: NKP_Vet

Not much is working in Obama’s America.


14 posted on 07/27/2012 10:10:03 PM PDT by ConservativeStatement (Obama "acted stupidly.")
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To: NKP_Vet

A wedding ring is a viscious circle.


15 posted on 07/27/2012 10:20:34 PM PDT by umgud (No Rats, No Rino's)
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To: NKP_Vet

16 posted on 07/27/2012 10:35:59 PM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: NKP_Vet

Clueless. Why am I not surprised. :-)


17 posted on 07/27/2012 10:41:19 PM PDT by Conservative4Ever (The Obamas = rude, crude and socially unacceptable)
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To: NKP_Vet

18 posted on 07/27/2012 10:42:08 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong!)
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To: NKP_Vet

19 posted on 07/27/2012 10:42:42 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong!)
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To: umgud
Cf. the story of Hans Carvel's ring in Chapter XXVIII of Book 3 of Rabelais' Gargantua and Pantagruel.
20 posted on 07/27/2012 10:44:16 PM PDT by dr_lew
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To: NKP_Vet

21 posted on 07/27/2012 10:45:26 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong!)
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To: NKP_Vet

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’
I said, ‘Dust.’
And that’s when the fight started...

..................

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?” It warmed
my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.
So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”
And that’s when the fight started....

......................

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Molson Canadian for $24.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of face cream for $17.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the face
cream..And that’s when the fight started....

....................

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first. “I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?””
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that’s when the fight started....


22 posted on 07/27/2012 10:47:54 PM PDT by ParityErr (It's impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.)
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To: Revolting cat!

My wife made me join a bridge club.”

Just a suggestion - save your marriage, everyone and yourself some grief and don’t be partners.


23 posted on 07/27/2012 10:54:12 PM PDT by Grams A (The Sun will rise in the East in the morning and God is still on his throne.)
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To: NKP_Vet
Tell her to quit worrying about getting old. That's how you live longer.

yitbos

24 posted on 07/27/2012 11:12:51 PM PDT by bruinbirdman ("Those who control language control minds." -- Ayn Rand)
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To: NKP_Vet
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel Horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a Compliment." The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started

The Kenyan must go.

25 posted on 07/27/2012 11:29:18 PM PDT by ex91B10 (We've tried the Soap Box,the Ballot Box and the Jury Box; ONE BOX LEFT!)
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To: ParityErr

Good ones! I should send these to my ex-wife.


26 posted on 07/27/2012 11:36:01 PM PDT by rcrngroup
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To: Revolting cat!

You could do good stand up comedy...LOL


27 posted on 07/27/2012 11:40:26 PM PDT by goat granny
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To: Revolting cat!

28 posted on 07/27/2012 11:50:46 PM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: ParityErr

NICE !


29 posted on 07/27/2012 11:55:23 PM PDT by onona (loving butter pecan)
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To: goat granny

The Hormone Guide
Women will understand this!
Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands!
This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here’s my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine..

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn’t over-do it today.
SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

Forward this information to all of your women friends and those who might need a good laugh..... and men who need a warning.

And, have some wine.

(I got this email from my wife. Burned out my printer making copies of it to keep in the office, truck, workshop, etc.)


30 posted on 07/28/2012 12:06:32 AM PDT by 21twelve
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To: 21twelve
DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?

With me it's more like, "Good grief, did you clean the basement again?" and "What's with all this yard work?"

She's always trying to make me look bad! That's my complaint.

31 posted on 07/28/2012 12:23:12 AM PDT by dr_lew
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To: ex91B10

Thanks for the link. They’re funny!


32 posted on 07/28/2012 1:02:06 AM PDT by paudio (OTP: Why do people want to rehire a mechanic who clearly only made their car worse than before?)
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To: smokingfrog

Volume 1...


33 posted on 07/28/2012 2:42:08 AM PDT by ShasheMac
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To: NKP_Vet

for later


34 posted on 07/28/2012 4:01:18 AM PDT by VMI70
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To: NKP_Vet

Maybe the wasing machine broke...


35 posted on 07/28/2012 4:16:07 AM PDT by wastoute (Government cannot redistribute wealth. Government can only redistribute poverty.)
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To: NKP_Vet

“Does this dress make my butt look big?”

No, I don’t think it has anything to do with the dress.


36 posted on 07/28/2012 5:05:28 AM PDT by HangThemHigh (Entropy's not what it used to be.)
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To: HangThemHigh
My poor husband. we go through this:

"honey, does this dress make me look too fat?"

"no, it doesn't"

"You mean it makes me look just fat enough?"

*****

Here's another one we keep alive:

(with 3rd glass of wine): "Honey, do you think i'm an alcoholic?"

"well, i've heard that if you are asking the question, then maybe you are"

"hmmmm...ok. Honey, do you think i'm fat?"

"shutting up"

***

22 years...going strong. we have fun. :)

37 posted on 07/28/2012 5:27:48 AM PDT by ZinGirl
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To: Kartographer

The whole city?


38 posted on 07/28/2012 5:40:49 AM PDT by Repulican Donkey
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To: NKP_Vet

Bump


39 posted on 07/28/2012 6:12:58 AM PDT by AlligatorEyes (Iactura paucourm serva multos)
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To: Lancey Howard

Needs caption”

I miss my ex, but my aim’s improvin!!!


40 posted on 07/28/2012 10:00:54 AM PDT by BrandtMichaels
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To: 21twelve

perfect for my daughter and one of my daughter in laws...they both admit no one drinks wine at my house until they arrive. 2 wino’s out of 9 isn’t too bad


41 posted on 07/28/2012 8:54:06 PM PDT by goat granny
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