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———I’m only posting this once-——
Your magical powers are decreasing. It only posted twice, not three times.
A WISH TO LIVE FOREVER
I met a fairy who said she would grant me one wish.
Immediately I said, “I want to live forever.”
“Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant eternal life.”
“OK,” I said, “Then, I want to die after Congress gets its head out of its ass!”
“You crafty bastard,” said the fairy.
A man in a Florida Supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce..
The very young produce assistant tells him they sell only whole heads of lettuce.
The man persists and asks to see the manager.
Walking into the back room, the young assistant said to his manager, ‘Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce.
As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, and this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.
The manager approved the deal, and the customer went on his way. Later the manager said to the assistant,’I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier.
We like people who think quickly on their feet here. Where are you from son?
’ Green Bay, Wisconsin Sir, the young assistant replied.
‘Well, why did you leave Green Bay? the manager asked.
The produce assistant said, Sir, theres nothing but whores and football players up there.
‘Really? said the manager. My wife is from Green Bay.
‘No shit? replied the young assistant. ‘What position did she play?