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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 05/03/2013 5:53:41 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Edited on 05/03/2013 8:43:38 AM PDT by Admin Moderator.
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How the media would handle the end of the world
USA Today: WE'RE DEAD.
Wall Street Journal: Dow Jones Plummets as World Ends.
National Enquirer: O.J. and Nicole, Together Again.
Inc. Magazine: 10 Ways You Can Profit From the Apocalypse.
Rolling Stone: The Grateful Dead Reunion Tour.
Sports Illustrated: Game Over.
Playboy: Girls of the Apocalypse.
Lady's Home Journal: Lose 10 Pounds by Judgment Day with Our New "Armageddon" Diet!
TV Guide: Death and Damnation: Nielson Ratings Soar!
Discover Magazine: How will the extinction of all life as we know it affect the way we view the cosmos?
Microsoft Systems Journal: Internet Explorer Loses Market Share.
Microsoft's Web Site: If you don't experience the rapture, DOWNLOAD software patch RAPT777.EXE.
FaceBook: Unable to post. Try again in 15 minutes.
To: Lucky9teen
2
posted on
05/03/2013 5:54:51 AM PDT
by
Pan_Yan
(I believe in God. All else is dubious.)
To: Lucky9teen
To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...
REPORTING
FOR
CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST
4
posted on
05/03/2013 5:55:12 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
To: Lucky9teen
5
posted on
05/03/2013 5:55:32 AM PDT
by
King Moonracer
(Bad lighting and cheap fabric, that's how you sell clothing.....)
To: Malone LaVeigh
7
posted on
05/03/2013 5:57:15 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
To: Lucky9teen
8
posted on
05/03/2013 5:57:24 AM PDT
by
glock rocks
("If not us, who? If not now, when?" - Ronald Reagan)
To: Lucky9teen
9
posted on
05/03/2013 5:59:22 AM PDT
by
rockabyebaby
(We are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo screwed!)
To: Lucky9teen
10
posted on
05/03/2013 6:02:04 AM PDT
by
Currentriverrat
(People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)
To: Lucky9teen
To: Lucky9teen
Sometimes it makes you think Mussolini was right, the only thing reporters are good for is decorating lampposts.
Pray for America to Wake Up
12
posted on
05/03/2013 6:07:32 AM PDT
by
bray
(Surviving to spite Obama)
To: Lucky9teen
Bottom 215!!!
How can you report on Obama when you don’t know s@!#? LOL
13
posted on
05/03/2013 6:11:06 AM PDT
by
ArGee
(I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but they stood me up.)
To: Lucky9teen
14
posted on
05/03/2013 6:11:25 AM PDT
by
dayglored
(Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
To: Lucky9teen
An elderly woman visits her doctor and complains of her symptoms saying, “Doctor you’ve got to help me. I have a most embarrassing problem with persistent ‘silent gas’. It happens all the time. Whether I’m at home, in a restaurant, or out shopping with the ladies. I’ve tried everything and just can’t stop it. In fact I’ve even just done it here three times. Do you think you can help me?”
The doctor nods assuringly and responds, “I think I can definitely help you with that. But first, let’s check your hearing.”
15
posted on
05/03/2013 6:12:04 AM PDT
by
foundedonpurpose
(It's time for a fundamental restoration, of our country's principles!)
To: Lucky9teen
STWIWTGO!!!
16
posted on
05/03/2013 6:14:10 AM PDT
by
JRios1968
(I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
To: Lucky9teen
I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business, patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic.
A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting anti-American slogans, with a half-
burned American Flag duct taped on the trunk of their car and a “Remember 9-11”
sloganspray painted on the side, was stopped next to me.
Suddenly they yelled, “Praise Allah” and took off before the light changed. Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.
For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, “Man...that could have been me !”
So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.
17
posted on
05/03/2013 6:14:58 AM PDT
by
foundedonpurpose
(It's time for a fundamental restoration, of our country's principles!)
Comment #18 Removed by Moderator
To: Lucky9teen
After closing time at the bar, an Irish drunk was proudly showing off his
apartment to a couple of his friends.
He led the way to his bedroom wherethere was a big brass gong and a mallet.
‘What’s with that big brass gong?’ one of the guests asked.
‘It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock,’ the drunk replied.
‘A talking clock? Seriously?’ asked his astonished friend.
‘YUP, it is’ replied the drunk.
‘How’s it work?’ the friend asked, squinting at it.
‘Watch,’ the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an
ear-shattering pound and stepped back.
The three stood looking at one another for a moment.......
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed,
‘You ***! It’s THREE-FIFTEEN in the MORNING!’
19
posted on
05/03/2013 6:17:10 AM PDT
by
foundedonpurpose
(It's time for a fundamental restoration, of our country's principles!)
To: Lucky9teen
I was in Ft. Myers, Florida the other day and I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that
read: “I miss Chicago.”
So, I broke the window, stole the radio, shot out two of the tires, added an Obama bumper sticker and left a note that read, “I hope this helps!”
20
posted on
05/03/2013 6:18:19 AM PDT
by
foundedonpurpose
(It's time for a fundamental restoration, of our country's principles!)
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