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Experience: I Was Swallowed By a Hippo
Guardian ^ | Friday 3 May 2013 | Paul Templer

Posted on 05/10/2013 12:12:01 PM PDT by nickcarraway

The hippo who tried to kill me wasn't a stranger – he and I had met before a number of times. I was 27 and owned a business taking clients down the Zambezi river near Victoria Falls. I'd been working this stretch of river for years, and the grouchy old two-ton bull had carried out the occasional half-hearted attack. I'd learned to avoid him. Hippos are territorial and I knew where he was most likely to be at any given time.

That day I'd taken clients out with three apprentice guides – Mike, Ben and Evans – all in kayaks. We were near the end of the tour, the light was softening and we were taking in the tranquillity. The solid whack I felt behind me took me by surprise.

I turned just in time to see Evans, who had been flung out of his boat, flying through the air. His boat, with his two clients still in it, had been lifted half out of the water on the back of the huge bull hippo.

(Excerpt) Read more at guardian.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Pets/Animals; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: hippo; napl

1 posted on 05/10/2013 12:12:01 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

I hate when that happens...


2 posted on 05/10/2013 12:14:04 PM PDT by Cowboy Bob (Democrats: Robbing Peter to buy Paul's vote.)
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To: nickcarraway

” ... I got better.” /John Cleese


3 posted on 05/10/2013 12:14:52 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy
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To: nickcarraway

Hippo’s kill more people in Africa than any other animal.


4 posted on 05/10/2013 12:16:05 PM PDT by Puppage (You may disagree with what I have to say, but I shall defend to your death my right to say it)
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To: nickcarraway; Revolting cat!; Slings and Arrows; Daffynition

Scratched off my Christmas want list.


5 posted on 05/10/2013 12:16:13 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: Puppage

Even than man???


6 posted on 05/10/2013 12:16:31 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: Cowboy Bob

7 posted on 05/10/2013 12:17:17 PM PDT by Puppage (You may disagree with what I have to say, but I shall defend to your death my right to say it)
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To: a fool in paradise
Even than man???

Well played, Sir. Well played indeed.

8 posted on 05/10/2013 12:17:53 PM PDT by Puppage (You may disagree with what I have to say, but I shall defend to your death my right to say it)
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To: nickcarraway

Almost happened to me at Disneyland. TWICE!


9 posted on 05/10/2013 12:18:03 PM PDT by Rio (Tempis Fugit.)
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To: a fool in paradise

Well, the crazy thing is that he apparently went back to give that same hippo another chance at him. (smh)


10 posted on 05/10/2013 12:19:05 PM PDT by alancarp (Obama will grab your guns and ship them to Mexican drug mobs.)
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To: nickcarraway
But children still sing of their desire for a hippopotamus for Christmas. They would be safer asking for a rabid pit bull.
11 posted on 05/10/2013 12:21:47 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (Choose one: the yellow and black flag of the Tea Party or the white flag of the Republican Party.)
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To: nickcarraway; Lazamataz

I initially thought this was an article by Laz.


12 posted on 05/10/2013 12:22:05 PM PDT by Starstruck (Don't rest. We came close to the 2nd Amendment being field tested.)
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To: nickcarraway

The hippo. One of the truly dangerous animals of the African wild.


13 posted on 05/10/2013 12:23:08 PM PDT by spetznaz (Nuclear-tipped Ballistic Missiles: The Ultimate Phallic Symbol)
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To: nickcarraway

"I dated one once and she was a great.....cook"

14 posted on 05/10/2013 12:24:58 PM PDT by Doogle (USAF.68-73..8th TFW Ubon Thailand..never store a threat you should have eliminated))
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To: shibumi

Ahem.....


15 posted on 05/10/2013 12:25:28 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
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To: nickcarraway

I thought at first that he had been passed out of the hippo’s rear end. He may be pretending that he left via the mouth!


16 posted on 05/10/2013 12:27:15 PM PDT by AEMILIUS PAULUS (It is a shame that when these people give a riot)
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To: alancarp

With only one arm to defend himself.


17 posted on 05/10/2013 12:27:37 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

18 posted on 05/10/2013 12:32:39 PM PDT by o2bfree (Lindsey Graham is left of South Carolina.)
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To: nickcarraway; Larry Lucido; F15Eagle

I was slated to go to Africa, but tested positive for opium.

And to think I was gonna meet the bush-men of the Kalahari.


19 posted on 05/10/2013 12:37:31 PM PDT by Gamecock ("Ultimately, Jesus died to save us from the wrath of God." ¬óR.C. Sproul)
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To: Doogle

You gotta be kiddin, well why didn`t you bring`em a beer and the remote?


20 posted on 05/10/2013 12:43:27 PM PDT by nomad
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To: nickcarraway

Her hips are deadly, too.

21 posted on 05/10/2013 12:47:25 PM PDT by Slyfox (The red face of shame is proof that the conscience is still operational.)
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To: Slyfox

Not to mention her cankles.


22 posted on 05/10/2013 12:50:20 PM PDT by GladesGuru (Islam is antithetical to, and Islam is irreconcilable with, America. Therefore - Islam Delenda Est)
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To: nickcarraway

I think they’re gonna need a bigger boat.

Seriously, kayaking with hippos. What could possibly go wrong?


23 posted on 05/10/2013 12:53:04 PM PDT by Sherman Logan
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To: nomad

nnnope


24 posted on 05/10/2013 12:56:16 PM PDT by Doogle (USAF.68-73..8th TFW Ubon Thailand..never store a threat you should have eliminated))
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To: nickcarraway

I thought this was gonna be a Wookie thread!


25 posted on 05/10/2013 12:59:37 PM PDT by SWAMPSNIPER (The Second Amendment, a Matter of Fact, Not a Matter of Opinion)
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To: AEMILIUS PAULUS; nickcarraway; JoeProBono
Land of the Lost


Holly Cantrell: Marshall! What happened?
Will Canton: Dude, we thought you had died!
Dr. Rick Marshall: Died? No. That was just a minor setback. Okay, let's go home.
Will Canton: No, no, no, wait. This is insane. We saw you go down Grumpy's cake hole. What, did he puke you out or something?
Dr. Rick Marshall: Well...
Holly Cantrell: No, it's not possible. The T. Rex lacked a gag reflex.
Dr. Rick Marshall: Not important right now. I'm okay, and that's it.
Will Canton: This is a puzzler.
Dr. Rick Marshall: Look, I'd really rather not talk about it, okay? Now, let's light this candle.
Holly Cantrell: No, Marshall, how did you get out?
Dr. Rick Marshall: I will talk to you about it later! Individually, to each one of you. I'll explain it.
Will Canton: (SNIFFING)
Dr. Rick Marshall: Jeez. Would you grow up?
Holly Cantrell: Oh, my God!
Dr. Rick Marshall: Yes, he pooped me out!
Will Canton: Ugh! And now you guys are friends?

26 posted on 05/10/2013 12:59:58 PM PDT by Alex Murphy ("If you are not firm in faith, you will not be firm at all" - Isaiah 7:9)
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To: Alex Murphy


27 posted on 05/10/2013 2:33:49 PM PDT by JoeProBono (Free Quix)
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To: a fool in paradise; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; ...
This calls for a song!


28 posted on 05/10/2013 2:37:32 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Puppage
Hippo’s kill more people in Africa than any other animal.

Not even close, by orders of magnitude.

Mosquitoes/malaria would be closer to the top.

But it's humans who kill more people in Africa than any other animal.

29 posted on 05/10/2013 2:53:22 PM PDT by null and void (America needs to be led by warriors not by lawyers)
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To: null and void

So a mosquito is an animal now? Good to know.


30 posted on 05/10/2013 2:57:49 PM PDT by Puppage (You may disagree with what I have to say, but I shall defend to your death my right to say it)
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To: nickcarraway; Slings and Arrows; shibumi

31 posted on 05/10/2013 2:57:52 PM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Puppage

It’s always been.

Unless you are willing to argue mosquitoes are minerals, vegetables or abstract concepts.


32 posted on 05/10/2013 3:14:06 PM PDT by null and void (America needs to be led by warriors not by lawyers)
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To: Slings and Arrows

That was evil. I had to scroll through 47 screens to get to kittens Tanz mit Laibach...


33 posted on 05/10/2013 3:15:55 PM PDT by null and void (America needs to be led by warriors not by lawyers)
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To: null and void

If I was really feeling nasty, I’d’ve told you to wait for the end.


34 posted on 05/10/2013 3:18:51 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: nickcarraway
Victory bubbles.


35 posted on 05/10/2013 3:24:17 PM PDT by Daffynition (Stand Your Ground)
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To: Slings and Arrows

I watched the whole thing. There is no end. It loops.


36 posted on 05/10/2013 3:25:02 PM PDT by null and void (America needs to be led by warriors not by lawyers)
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To: Slings and Arrows; Darksheare
Tanz mit Laibach
37 posted on 05/10/2013 3:28:08 PM PDT by null and void (America needs to be led by warriors not by lawyers)
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To: null and void
> If I was really feeling nasty, I’d’ve told you to wait for the end.

I watched the whole thing. There is no end. It loops.

And..?

38 posted on 05/10/2013 3:55:56 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Puppage
So a mosquito is an animal now? Good to know.

In Biology, yes the mosquito is part of the Animal Kingdom. Most people do however normally think of insects and animals as distinct.

39 posted on 05/10/2013 4:13:01 PM PDT by sand88
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To: Puppage

The skeeters have been promoted.


40 posted on 05/10/2013 4:22:20 PM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (I voted Republican, no Conservative was on the ballot. 969 yall.)
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To: sand88
Most people do however normally think of insects and animals as distinct.

Of course they do.

41 posted on 05/10/2013 4:23:14 PM PDT by Puppage (You may disagree with what I have to say, but I shall defend to your death my right to say it)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Is it possible Jonas was in the belly of a hippo not a whale?


42 posted on 05/10/2013 4:30:04 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

Back in 1983, I was TDY to the US Embassy in Lusaka, Zambia. My boss
and I took a weekend off and went to live rough in the bush. We were going fishing on the Zambezi in one of his Zambian pal’s 17-foot boat. There were four of us. Another Zambian dude was with us. He knew every foot of the Zambezi east of Vic Falls. He was a “wildlife management officer without portfolio,” a.k.a. a poacher. We were about 50 yards from the Rhodesian side. That’s where I also saw my first elephant in the wild. We were fishing when all of a sudden there was a big explosion of water and a big bull hippo’s head broke water. To me, it looked like a 55-gallon drum; I was terrified. Hippos are known to tip boats over and dump the passengers into the croc-infested river. That was one of the main adventures of my 70 years.


43 posted on 05/10/2013 7:51:00 PM PDT by Ax
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To: nickcarraway
Which one?


44 posted on 05/10/2013 8:16:33 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: KarlInOhio
But children still sing of their desire for a hippopotamus for Christmas.

No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses?

45 posted on 05/11/2013 7:01:02 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Alex Murphy
LOL! Very good. OH the ignominy of it all!
46 posted on 05/11/2013 7:04:31 AM PDT by AEMILIUS PAULUS (It is a shame that when these people give a riot)
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To: nickcarraway

The guy went back to give the hippo the chance to get his other arm. Idiot!


47 posted on 05/11/2013 7:12:13 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: nickcarraway
time passes very slowly when you're in a hippo's mouth.

Priceless quote.

48 posted on 05/11/2013 10:37:34 AM PDT by verga (A nation divided by Zero!)
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