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Police Called To Domestic Dispute Over Boyfriend Passing Gas
Brietbart.com ^ | 5 Jul 2013 | Jon David Kahn

Posted on 07/06/2013 3:31:18 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows

Edited on 07/06/2013 4:23:13 PM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]

CLAWSON (WWJ) - Responding to a 911 call for a possible domestic violence situation, police arrived at a Maple Road apartment complex to discover that what neighbors described as sounding like a "violent altercation," was in fact, a very loud plea from a woman to her boyfriend to stop passing gas.


(Excerpt) Read more at breitbart.com ...


TOPICS: Local News
KEYWORDS: napl
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Call DHS - he has a Weapon of (M)ass Destruction!

[Thanks to Gefn for this stinky link!]

1 posted on 07/06/2013 3:31:18 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
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To: Slings and Arrows; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; ...


2 posted on 07/06/2013 3:32:29 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

dude should have kept it SBD. I think he wanted to be caught. :P


3 posted on 07/06/2013 3:32:46 PM PDT by ZinGirl (kids in college....can't afford a tagline right now)
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To: Slings and Arrows

They did not arrest him because none of the officers wanted him stinking up their car.


4 posted on 07/06/2013 3:34:50 PM PDT by Venturer
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To: Slings and Arrows

I’m glad there were no charges. I could do some hard time as a repeat offender.


5 posted on 07/06/2013 3:35:16 PM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (To stay calm during these tumultuous times, I take Damitol. Ask your Doctor if it's right for you.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Hope the nosy neighbor got what she deserved.


6 posted on 07/06/2013 3:36:30 PM PDT by gusopol3
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To: Slings and Arrows

“You men eat your dinner, eat your pork and beans. I eat more chicken, than any man ever seen, yeah, yeah.”


7 posted on 07/06/2013 3:36:35 PM PDT by ConservativeStatement ("World Peace 1.20.09.")
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To: Slings and Arrows

“The horror.......the horror.........”


8 posted on 07/06/2013 3:37:00 PM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: Slings and Arrows
Nobody was charged in the case...

Well, that stinks.

9 posted on 07/06/2013 3:37:58 PM PDT by John123 (US$ - I owe you nothing. Euro - Who owes you nothing.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

I should’ve called the police on my husband last night.

Instead, I resorted to spraying Febreze every couple of hours.

Today he actually ate THREE MORE of those stupid sausages... chuckling his fool head off as he munched them right in front of me.

He’s intentionally trying to kill me.


10 posted on 07/06/2013 3:41:02 PM PDT by Marie ("The last time Democrats gloated this hard after a health care victory, they lost 60 House seats.")
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To: Marie

where did he get the sausages


11 posted on 07/06/2013 3:42:27 PM PDT by bigheadfred (barry your mouth is writing checks your ass cant cash)
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To: ZinGirl

Women sometimes think they can change a man but they are soooo wrong.


12 posted on 07/06/2013 3:43:56 PM PDT by Chickensoup (200 million unarmed " people killed in the 20th century by Leftist Totalitarian Fascists)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Was he passing or sharing gas?


13 posted on 07/06/2013 3:43:57 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: Slings and Arrows
I wonder if he was featured in this scene.
14 posted on 07/06/2013 3:45:07 PM PDT by Michael.SF. (0bama lied, Stevens died, now 0bama covers up the lies.)
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To: Marie
Today he actually ate THREE MORE of those stupid sausages... chuckling his fool head off as he munched them right in front of me.

He’s intentionally trying to kill me.
___________________________

Light a match, throw it in the room, collect life insurance.

15 posted on 07/06/2013 3:45:29 PM PDT by Chickensoup (200 million unarmed " people killed in the 20th century by Leftist Totalitarian Fascists)
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To: bigheadfred

I am telling your wife on you!


16 posted on 07/06/2013 3:45:55 PM PDT by Chickensoup (200 million unarmed " people killed in the 20th century by Leftist Totalitarian Fascists)
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To: blueunicorn6

17 posted on 07/06/2013 3:46:52 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Wait, its a crime to pass gas? Damn I would be getting a life sentence


18 posted on 07/06/2013 3:47:31 PM PDT by Sarah Barracuda
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To: Slings and Arrows
During earlier, civilized times such people could be seen (and smelled) performing in public theaters.


19 posted on 07/06/2013 3:47:58 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: Chickensoup

no kidding! there was a thread just yesterday about “Can a Woman Change A Man?” HA! I posted that it should be under the Friday Silliness Thread.


20 posted on 07/06/2013 3:48:34 PM PDT by ZinGirl (kids in college....can't afford a tagline right now)
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To: Sarah Barracuda

I’d be in the next cell over - and you’d know it.


21 posted on 07/06/2013 3:49:11 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Guy must have been on Mooochele’s diet


22 posted on 07/06/2013 3:50:38 PM PDT by True Grit
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To: ZinGirl

Yeah, then wait awhile and ask “Do you smell something burning?”


23 posted on 07/06/2013 3:51:29 PM PDT by Slump Tester (What if I'm pregnant Teddy? Errr-ahh -Calm down Mary Jo, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it)
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To: True Grit
Guy must have been on Mooochele’s diet

She isn't.

24 posted on 07/06/2013 3:52:44 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Conspiracy Guy

Three stripes and you’re out.


25 posted on 07/06/2013 3:53:45 PM PDT by Lurkina.n.Learnin (President Obama; The Slumlord of the Rentseekers)
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To: Chickensoup

don’t bother she ain’t going no where she just dropped a big jar of pickles on her foot no kidding


26 posted on 07/06/2013 3:53:47 PM PDT by bigheadfred (barry your mouth is writing checks your ass cant cash)
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To: ZinGirl

I missed that on, must have been a hoot!


27 posted on 07/06/2013 3:54:08 PM PDT by Chickensoup (200 million unarmed " people killed in the 20th century by Leftist Totalitarian Fascists)
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To: Revolting cat!
Fartclops

Even today, passing gas will always remain art.

28 posted on 07/06/2013 3:54:49 PM PDT by Sawdring
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To: Sarah Barracuda

This sounds like an explosive situation.


29 posted on 07/06/2013 3:55:50 PM PDT by Catsrus (gg)
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To: bigheadfred

don’t bother she ain’t going no where she just dropped a big jar of pickles on her foot no kidding

____________________

made her drop a jar of pickles? Goodness you’re talented!


30 posted on 07/06/2013 3:56:32 PM PDT by Chickensoup (200 million unarmed " people killed in the 20th century by Leftist Totalitarian Fascists)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Sounds like he was horribly aghast.


31 posted on 07/06/2013 3:58:52 PM PDT by Lurkina.n.Learnin (President Obama; The Slumlord of the Rentseekers)
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To: Chickensoup

i canna take any credit i just noticed her limping by


32 posted on 07/06/2013 3:59:44 PM PDT by bigheadfred (barry your mouth is writing checks your ass cant cash)
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To: Sawdring

And I thought dubstep couldn’t get worse.


33 posted on 07/06/2013 4:01:29 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: bigheadfred

i canna take any credit i just noticed her limping by

_______________________________

Well for Pete’s sake don’t eat the sausages!


34 posted on 07/06/2013 4:02:08 PM PDT by Chickensoup (200 million unarmed " people killed in the 20th century by Leftist Totalitarian Fascists)
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To: Chickensoup

Men assume the woman will stay the same...they, too, are sooooooo wrong.


35 posted on 07/06/2013 4:02:49 PM PDT by gorush (History repeats itself because human nature is static)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Those are his actual farts. I heard him on the radio a number of years ago and he could fart on command. Very high brow entertainment.


36 posted on 07/06/2013 4:03:36 PM PDT by Sawdring
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To: Revolting cat!

There was a young fellow named Carter,
A truly magnificent farter.
..On the strength of one bean
..He’d fart ‘God Save The Queen’
And a tuba show—all just for starters.


37 posted on 07/06/2013 4:03:42 PM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: All armed conservatives.)
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To: gorush

Men assume the woman will stay the same...they, too, are sooooooo wrong.

__________________________

You are not kidding!


38 posted on 07/06/2013 4:04:08 PM PDT by Chickensoup (200 million unarmed " people killed in the 20th century by Leftist Totalitarian Fascists)
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To: Lurkina.n.Learnin

Three stripes? I don’t shart! : )


39 posted on 07/06/2013 4:04:24 PM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (To stay calm during these tumultuous times, I take Damitol. Ask your Doctor if it's right for you.)
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To: Sawdring

I’m impressed - he’s invented a form of dubstep that even deaf people can hate.


40 posted on 07/06/2013 4:08:37 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Marie; SortaBichy
I should’ve called the police on my husband last night.

After gallbladder surgery (which I underwent just before Halloween), your chitterlings can - and will - react in unusual and unexpected ways...generally shortly after dining.

A couple of months ago on the way home from lunch, I released an "air pocket" which had apparently been hiding in my anals for days. Wifey and I both had to get out of the car after I pulled over. She was gagging so much I thought she was gonna lose it.

41 posted on 07/06/2013 4:09:30 PM PDT by ErnBatavia (Piffle....)
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To: Chickensoup

Real men don’t change, just because a woman might want him to do so. He changes when he sees the need to do so and nothing more.


42 posted on 07/06/2013 4:10:19 PM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults)
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To: Chickensoup; Marie

how can i eat any sausage unless maries husband invites me over but i really have to ask why do you think i want to eat his sausage


43 posted on 07/06/2013 4:16:03 PM PDT by bigheadfred (barry your mouth is writing checks your ass cant cash)
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To: Revolting cat!

Have you ever had to stifle a fart in polite company? Where did it go?


44 posted on 07/06/2013 4:30:27 PM PDT by dblshot (I am John Galt.)
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To: dblshot
"Have you ever had to stifle a fart in polite company? Where did it go?"


45 posted on 07/06/2013 4:39:20 PM PDT by Rebelbase (Our parents: The Greatest Generation. Their kids and grand kids: The Stupidest.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
Give them a few years, the Cops will call in the EPA or DOE since this is a non permitted fracking source. We have lost so many liberties the last 5 years this is the one thing a man can do without taxation or Gov't involvement and enjoy it...

Give Doomberg a few weeks he will make a law against it for sure...

46 posted on 07/06/2013 4:40:43 PM PDT by taildragger (The E-GOP won't know what hit them, The Party of Reagan is almost here, hang tight folks.....)
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To: bigheadfred

HE bought them! I won’t touch them out of courtesy. He went to the store and purposefully bought these sausages.

Then grilled them.

Then farted them at me.

*I* made a roast!

#HowYouKnowYou’veBeenMarriedForTooLong


47 posted on 07/06/2013 4:45:34 PM PDT by Marie ("The last time Democrats gloated this hard after a health care victory, they lost 60 House seats.")
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To: ErnBatavia

I wish I could ‘like’ a post! lol!


48 posted on 07/06/2013 4:46:54 PM PDT by Marie ("The last time Democrats gloated this hard after a health care victory, they lost 60 House seats.")
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To: taildragger

She shouldn’t have started dating ‘Stinky’.


49 posted on 07/06/2013 4:47:17 PM PDT by Cvengr (Adversity in life and death is inevitable. Thru faith in Christ, stress is optional.)
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To: Chickensoup

ROTFLOL


50 posted on 07/06/2013 4:47:17 PM PDT by freekitty (Give me back my conservative vote; then find me a real conservative to vote for)
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