Skip to comments.9 Things Cats Know but Won't Tell You
Posted on 12/22/2013 4:10:27 PM PST by boatbums
Most dog owners come into the veterinary office with their canine companions devotedly following them. Tails wagging, the dogs look up at their people with adoring eyes. Most cat owners, on the other hand, wrestle a cardboard box into the exam room, reach in like a magician and pull out not a rabbit, but an angry feline. For their efforts they get covered with furry shrapnel and sometimes raked with claws until their face and arms look like so many tic-tac-toe games. (It doesn't have to be like that, by the way.)
As a lifetime pet lover and practicing veterinarian of more than 30 years, I've noticed a few things about cats. And so for all you cat owners, here's the Secret Code of Cat Behavior (or What Cats Know but Won't Tell You).
Strategically place your hairball. If you have to hack up a hairball, toss it like a trophy onto something visible and valuable, like the new leather couch. If you can't reach that in time, an Oriental rug is an appropriate substitute.
Know the enemy and embrace him. If mom is entertaining, determine quickly who hates or is allergic to cats, race immediately to that person and leap into his or her lap. Mom's watching, so he won't dare push you off and will even fake affection by stroking you and repeating, "Nice kitty. Niiiice kitty."
Wear fur proudly. You must always select clothing in sharp contrast to your own fur color on which to rub, leap or audition for the president of the Hair Club for Cats. Again, dare to share.
Be Johnnie on the Spot. As a courtesy, always accompany guests to the toilet. Your job is to sit and stare like you're a peeping-tom cat.
(Excerpt) Read more at shine.yahoo.com ...
For your kitteh ping list!
Cardboard boxes? These “owners” must really hate their cats then.
I call them barf magnets. The kittehs invariably toss their hairballs onto these rugs with great accuracy and consistency.
I tell her just roll the damn things up and solve the problem.
I like the party at 2 am thing. That’s why our cat Bob sleeps in the basement (it’s fully finished and furnished and he wants to be there so no complaints. But I bought a onesie for my new great niece. It says on the front “Party at my crib - 2:00 a.m. BYOB.”
—’WE REALLY TASTE GOOD FRICKASEED....
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour $
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon Kitty seasoning
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Combine first 5 ingredients in a large zip-top plastic bag. Add kitty; toss well to coat. Melt butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Sauté 5 minutes or until browned. Remove from pan; keep warm.
I was at my niece’s home for a party and her cat jumped up beside me. He looked at me and said, “If I was bigger I would eat you.” I replied, “Fat chance you’re getting a Dorito with talk like that.”
FREE Philippine kittens, ready to wean in a week or two. I have too many cats as it is. You pay shipping, hahaha.
Give some to Ann Coulter, who is desperately in need of a meal.
What kind of cat?
He looks part Maine Coon, part Bengal.
Pawsome, as usual. Fangs, S&A!
(I could relate to all of it!)
Every now and then, we get both of our Maine Coon tabby kittehs rocketing across the bed around 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning. Usually one in hot pursuit of the other for some imagined insult to kitteh dignity.
(That’s a lot of cat to have trampling your kidneys at that time of night)
Clear the desk. One of our cats will climb on the desk as soon as you are done working and knock every pen, pencil, paper, scissors, etc. on the floor, then lay on the desk calendar and go to sleep.
The Hospital I worked at in the 80’s sent a team to the Philippines to do charity surgery. This group would remove thyroid cancers all day and they would collect the tumors in a bucket. At the end of the day someone would toss the bucket out of a window and feral cats would rush in to eat them.
Looks like your cat in the photo is taking a catnap sitting up.
“At the end of the day someone would toss the bucket out of a window and feral cats would rush in to eat them.”
YUKKKK ! My cats are well fed with scraps and with “Woofy”
kibbles that comes in an 8kg bucket. I also feed two dogs.
Well... that's certainly one way to keep down rising health care costs.
Is that a mother cat taking care of her kitten by any chance?
only cat i ever liked was one that behaved like a friendly dog. miss my buddy alex. think i loved him more than his owner did.
Although I personally haven't owned a cat in many years, I don't think that all the annoying and irritating cat behavior mentioned in the article is beyond human control. Cats, from what I observe, are trainable by humans to a significant extent, as evidenced, for example, by their roles in films. There is an "animal psychologist" with a nationally syndicated radio show named Warren Eckstein, who wrote a book quite a number of years back called "How to Get Your Cat to Do What You Want." It might be useful for distressed cat owners to call in his show and/or consult his book.
A bunch of kitties were losing on the football field today. Again. They call themselves Detroit Lions.
“JUST SEND ‘EM TO ME ON CONSIGNMENT A/W..I’LL FRICKESEE ‘EM “
May the Viking Kitties disembowel you, and feed you to the DUmmies. haha. That is my Christmas wish for you...Meowee Christmas.
LOL..and How bout them Eagles!!
‘Fraid our Beaux would need a LOT longer than 5 minutes. ;o)
How ‘bout them PANTHERS???!!!
I got a Maine Coon and took her recently to a new vet, told him I needed to be in the room with her as she aint much for fecal exams. He said he could handle her with a smirk. Thru the door I heard a loud series of hisses and growls followed by excited human voices. Shortly after the now much more humble vet appeared and wanted to know if he could sedate her, I said no, she is an older cat and might not live thru it. I asked what do you think of her condition? He said she is beautiful, her lungs seem fine, and her teeth are excellent as he had gotten some close views.
Taking her for checkup tomorrow to my new vet. Will report if it is more successful.
Sounds to me like they’re talking about a pampered house cat. My fat black street cat came home the other day with a bad cough. He has short hair, and has never had a hairball in his life. But when he came inside he started coughing and laying around the house like a beanbag. He’s been my best friend since I was 11 years old and he was a kitten, so I was worried. So I stuffed him into a cat carrier and drove him to the vet. And he was really pissed off about it. He hissed and yowled, and started shedding his fur in a way that I’d never seen before. But the vet was a nice lady with lots of experience with cats. She said he had something called “kennel cough”, which is kinda weird since he’s never been in a kennel in his life. She kept him overnight, gave him some shots, and charged me 200 dollars for some cat medicine. And she said “keep him inside for at least a week”. So I bought a litter box and put it in the laundry room, and Gremlin is a very unhappy cat today because he can’t go outside. And Wolfie Dog is laughing at him.
Good luck with your Coonish girl - hope it goes well. And a very merry Christmas to you as well.
Love those little calico girls!
I mean... her legs are just like paper towel tubes...
please, Ann... you are tall and lovely... intelligent, well-spoken, attractive and respectable patriotic woman with the right set of values... but please... put on some weight.