Posted on 12/29/2013 2:07:07 PM PST by RightGeek
“Bread and water, that’s luxury. If he was in a Kalifornica prison he could obtain sexual reassignment surgery for free.”
Yes, but to which one?
Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time!
She’s actually pretty hot.
Precisely.
...leather sofa....turd-boy.
Maybe that’s why they fed us school kids Mystery Meat too. Ha. Thanks
Reggie Love.
Don't try holding your breath pansy-boy.
Well...on 2nd thought, do give it another go....lol.
Tell him the couch is covered in Naughahyde, made from the skins of hundreds of the little Gekko-like Naughas that were slaughtered. Bet you could get him to protest in a "Save the Naughas" campaign.
(It is my understanding that some college-types were fed up with the "Save the Whales" crowd parading around campus, enlarged a photo of a Gekko, and started their own "Save the Naughas" campaign and showed up with the poster. Within minutes they had their own group of protesters.)
5.56mm
lol
Yep
Apparently Gluten (Whateva TF that is) is poison to those on the Leftier end of the politically correct spectrum.
BTW, I can sympathize. I am like a totally complete vegetarian myself. I will only consume animal products harvested from dead herbivores.
They should have cut out the bread also!!!!
Eat tasty animals or starve to death!!
Mountain Lion is quite good. As the famous Turducken has been popularized, perhaps it is time for the Traditional American love of fresh meat to create a carnivore equivalent, hence the following recipe.
1. Dress and clean one Polar Bear, minus the liver.
2. Dress and clean one Yellowstone Grizzly (their diet of Park visitors gives them a unique taste).
3. Dress and clean one Florida Black Bear (”Species of Special Concern” status gives them a ‘special’ flavor).
Next, fill a 1,000 gallon frying pan with peanut oil in fond memory of Jimmuh Carter, and heat until just below smoking point.
While oil is heating, stuff the Polar Bear with the Griz, and finally stuff the Blackie into the Griz. Crack into a 5 gallon bowl sufficient eggs to coat the Polar Bear, but do not forget to use only the egg whites! Otherwise someone might have a coronary!
Using the crane, lift the Tri-Bear and coat well with glat kosher Matzo crumbs. Halal Matzo crumbs taste best in this application.
Don't forget and use uncircumcised bears or your Tri-Bear dish will be tref! All Bruin Circumcisions must be performed on the bears pre-mortem. Postmortem circumscribed bears can not be kosher bears.
Have the crane operator carefully lower the Tri-Bear into the oil and fry until golden brown, remove from hot oil, drain well on a bed of non-Egyptian cotton towels, and enjoy with your favorite red wine.
Bon apetit!
Holy crap man that is seriously funny! hahaha!
I might as well go with the snails, lobsta, and clams, followed by a pressed Cuban.
* I am thinking of the same dude who did the bris in the back of a speeding Mercury ca 1965. His name was Morris the Mohel from Brooklyn. However, as you may know, he moved to Maine and is now known as "Maurice, the Yankee Clipper." He winters in Miami, and votes in Brooklyn, Brooklin, and Floriduh.
*BTW, Pardon me for throwing a Muslim into the joke.
How could I not so do when they were the “Islam is a religion of peace” advocates - and, they were also Bonesmen at Yale!
As to where to find a Mohel willing to circumcise a live bear, obviously, Jews have far too high an IQ to accept such a job. So, the question simplifies to identifying low IQ populations believing in circumcision. Muslims fill the job description on both parameters.
All one need do is grow a dark beard, or if beards make you itch, rent a beard (not You, Michelle!). Then rent a thawb and you are ready to Rent-A-Muslim.
Tell him The Great Goat Abuser In The Sky told you to tell him he was to do as you instruct him. Please, PLEASE remember to make sure he wears a GoPro camera while working. Whether the Little Goat Abuser On Earth survives his efforts to circumcise the bears or not, as viewers of the videos of those efforts, we will have to view carefully, and in limited viewing times, lest we die laughing.
Also, as compassionate conservatives, we must not forget to honor and make use of another cultural asset of Islam, the “daya”. That is, of course a woman whose job description may be described as “She who is “Cutter of Clitoris”. Just tell her the bear is ‘kafir’ and insults Allah by using its right paw to wipe with 2, 4, or 6 smooth round stones. She will likely thank you for this opportunity to gain favor in Allah's sight.
As for a “pressed Cuban”, aren't you ashamed of yourself? Castro has already nearly pressed the life out of them?
If I may so inquire, why would anyone every apologize for including a Muslim joke? As they are walking, talking jokes as a consequence of their beliefs and behavior, can an argument not be made that G*d gave Man Muslims so that comedians might have an endless supply of jokes?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.