Posted on 02/12/2014 7:08:35 AM PST by madison10
Dear Diary:
Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Michigan. It is so beautiful here. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change in the seasons. This is...truly God's Country.
Oct. 14 - Michigan is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the real special places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude of different colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so bright. I want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer. They are so graceful, certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on Earth. This must be paradise.
Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very symbol of peace and tranquility. I love it here!
Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful sight: everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak tree is magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and swept the snow from the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing. He must have gotten too close to the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony. I love it here!
Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute little trick again. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love it here!
Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work in time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow!
Dec. 21 - More of that white crap coming down. I've got blisters on my hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow driver waits around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Idiot.
Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow. If I ever get my hands on the sonofabitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll castrate him. And why don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this crap??
Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been inside since then, except of course when that SOB "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows. Weather man says to expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches is??
Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's coming down it won't melt until the 4th of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and the idiot actually came and asked to borrow a shovel! I told him I'd broken 6 already this season.
Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to get some food and a damn deer ran out in front of my car and I hit the bastard. It did $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts ought to be killed. The hunters should have a longer season.
Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today. The rain turned the snow into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak tree in the front yard and it went through the roof. I should have cut that old piece of crap into fireplace wood when I had the chance.
May 3 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that damn salt they dump on the road?
May 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to Florida . I can't imagine why anyone in their freakin' mind would ever want to live in the God forsaken State of Michigan!
LOL! Michigan - Winter Wonderland?
Ping
LOL! Thanks for the morning laugh. Too funny! I’m sending it on to my family.
LOL “snowplow Harry” has managed to knock my mailbox down twice this year. The last time they went thru and somehow managed to miss my mailbox I wanted to go out to the curb and yell “what’s the matter, not going for the hat trick?”
CC
Once worked with a friend from Minnesota he and his wife were at a Christmas party and she was going on and on about how beautiful it was in Minnesota this time of year and the more it snowed the prettier it was and how much she missed it...his response...Yea!! You never shoveled that shit!!!!
How can ANYTHING happen in those shanty’s? BRRRRR.
I remember one winter it snowed 10” and then rained on it, then the temp dropped to -5 overnight. The snowplow guy got stuck during the day it snowed, so I pulled him out. His reward to me was to dump a six foot high slushball directly across my driveway. Overnight it froze into an iceberg that would have sunk the Titanic. I had to bust it up with a sledgehammer. I was not happy with the snowplow guy.
Pretty funny. Reminds me of an old Mark Twain story in which he uses the same conceit. I believe it was about Niagara Falls or something.
LOL
The Midwestern icefishing tournament was a couple of weeks ago at Wamplers lake paid $20,000 for 8 lbs of fish.
LOL. His campaign team and his one Michigan supporter.
May 10 next year- Realized Florida is a hot, humid. flat, overcrowded and depressing place to live, so moved north to the Appalachian Mountains. Met a lot of other people here who did the same thing and moved halfway back to Mich/OH/PA/NY. Found out that's why the locals call us "Half Backs." :)
Funny stuff!
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