Posted on 02/13/2014 8:02:42 PM PST by RetiredTexasVet
President Obama was nominated for sainthood today by Vice President Joe Biden.
Slow Joe stated that as a religious person he felt possessed to nominate him. Although one nominated for sainthood is normally deceased for a period of time, Slow Joe rationalized that the Vatican would make an exception for a semi-black person to avoid being stigmatized as racist.
Slow Joe noted that The One had received a Nobel Prize for doing far less than what justified him to receive sainthood. Slow Joe cited three miracles that would justify his sainthood: walking on water, feeding the multitudes and healing the sick.
Eric Holder was selected to verify at the Vatican the miracle of "walking on water" as evidenced by the Fast & Furious, IRS, Benghazi, and other scandals that The One walked away from over the troubled political waters in Washington, DC.
Katie Sebelius was selected to verify at the Vatican the miracle of "healing the sick" as evidenced the 345 million people saved or cured by ObamaCare who would have eventually died without it.
Nan Pelosi was selected to verify at the Vatican the miracle of "feeding the multitudes" as evidenced by the 46 million EBT cards issued by The One to stave off hunger among the poor, outcast and downtrodden.
The One stated that he was humbled by the nomination but would use his Executive Order authority if necessary to award himself sainthood if the Vatican failed to perform its duties as expected.
Not as idiotic as giving him the Nobel Peace Prize before he was even president.
The ultimate display of political correctness gone totally insane.
lol
No one told him anything. He didn’t know. So he shall be known as “Saint Noknow,” guardian saint of the unknown.
LOL I'll bet he did!
Good satire...: )
Put a square halo around Obama’s head! If I remember correctly, a Byzantine mural showing a person with a square halo meant the person was sainted while still alive. A dead saint got a round halo.
Wonder if his followers will start a CARGO CULT around St Obama.
When he retires to Hawaii all his followers in the USA will pray toward the Southwest for the Saint who brought them FREE STUFF! FREE PHONES! Maybe they will build churches with empty boxes inside in hopes their prayers to the “O” will fill those boxes with FREE STUFF!
Do you have to be dead for sainthood?
I hate to even joke about something so ridiculous, so verging on blasphemy. There are millions of O-Bots who would nominate him for Sainthood at the drop of an EBT card, or morning after pill.
The Patron Saint of the Vampires.
Who said Obama is going to retire?
he has a pen and a phone afterall. and 2016 is a long time away.
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