Posted on 03/28/2014 7:16:33 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
1. Bjorn Lodbrok has a worse haircut than Kim Jong Un.
2. Beware the Duke of Earl...Haraldson.
3. In Viking vs Viking battles, those wearing plain brown hoodies are doomed to die.
4. Viking trophy wives are high maintenance.
5. Ragnar Lodbrok is a secret humanitarian.
6. Although the Vikings had extensive contacts with North German Saxons, they were unaware of the existence of England until they arrived there.
7. Eighth century Viking women had the sensibilities of 21st century feminists.
8. No-Fault Viking divorce is quick and easy. No lawyers!
9. The Church punished apostate monks by crucifying them and doing their best to make them appear like Jesus including a crown of thorns and a lance in the side.
10. If an English king invites you to go skinny dipping with him in his swimming pool, you better start worrying about his sexual orientation.
11. Kattegat got absorbed by the Jarl Borg because he was dissed.
12. Rollo has an arm covered with L.A. Ink tattoos.
13. Ragnar Lodbrok is really a good ol' boy country farmer.
14. Viking soothsayers give accurate predictions if you are willing to lick their disgusting hands.
15. Rollo can grab a red hot knife for a full 10 seconds without displaying the slightest bit of pain and his hand will show no ill effects.
16. There is no Viking word for foreplay.
17. If you listen carefully to Old Saxon, in less than a minute it will sound exactly like modern English.
18. Hidden church treasure can always be found beneath the altar floorboards.
19. Lutefisk is the Viking MRE of choice when going on raiding parties.
20. Surving a battle is a bummer if you want to enter Valhalla.
21. Viking Duck Dynasty hunted birds with bows and arrows.
22. One of Ragnar's sons grew up to become Kirk Douglas and the other became Tony Curtis with an exotic Bronx accent.
Sorry, I meant to ping you to post #40 but typed “Pookie18” by mistake.
OK, who filmed me before I got the game? ;)
PS, some awesome new mods lately...and ESO is out in a week or so ;) Think I’ll give it a go...
Whoa! Now that’s pretty cool!
LMAO.
ZOT Lightning music!
Well, OK... I'll give you that one. But for the most part the details of Viking life and combat are reasonably well presented.
Bookmarking for tomorrow morning, when I’m not falling asleep as I am now. Will review. ;)
I learned I think Alyssa Sutherland is HOT and she is not a Viking. she is from Australia. She could be a Viking and I’d still think she is HOT.
“Vikings had power saws, as evidenced by the cuts on their firewood and the ends of the logs used on their buildings!!!”
Nice catch dude.
It's not their fault that their travel agents lied to them about the availability of operational ATMs in Scotland and England and the availibility of decent weather and great beaches to be able enjoy their Spring Breaks with the local women.
Likely a cultural misunderstanding. Normally they rode into battle...we I mean new areas (yea! new areas!) with Coexist bumper stickers on their horses...
Yeah, the local monasteries had to be used as ATM substitutes to be able to fund passage home.
Nice catch dude.
Why do you think they didn't have saws? There's plenty of evidence that they did. Even by the 8th or 9th century the saw wasn't exactly new technology.
SILVER
BRONZE
He has the Hollywood biker vibe.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.