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B-1 Bomber for Sale
http://www.ar15.com ^ | May 12, 2014

Posted on 07/03/2014 6:54:20 AM PDT by NKP_Vet

About 14 years ago a B-1 bomber was in here (Billings , MT) doing practice approaches and touch and goes. On one of the landings the pilot sets his brakes on fire. He taxis in, and the airport parks him on a taxiway and then puts cones around him until parts and mechanics can be brought in from Ellsworth AFB the next day.

The next day is a Saturday, which doesn’t have much going on, so we get to laughing in the tower that maybe somebody should hang a For Sale sign on the plane. We convince one of our guys who’s well known for doing things like this that it would be a good idea. So he takes off for the hardware store to buy a For Sale sign. On the way back he stops at a car dealer and gets one of those “As is/No Warranty” signs that hang in all used cars. On that sign was written something like low miles, new engines, needs brakes and tires. Those signs were taped together, and off goes our hero.

He climbs over the fence, leaving some skin on the barbed wire, and makes his way the 1000 feet or so to the aircraft. As he’s doing that, we see a couple of airport vehicles starting to gather with the recently arrived mechanics as well as the plane’s crew. Not looking good for our intrepid airplane salesman. He gets to the nose wheel and tapes the sign to the nose strut.

Then he starts to make his way back from the plane as the vehicles start to head out from the shop on the way to the bomber. Somehow he makes it without being seen. The vehicles arrive at the plane, and of course notice the sign right away. The Air Force guys are in stitches, funniest thing they’ve seen in a long time. Airport guys are not sure what to think. Airport management is livid as they’ve been tasked with security.

Pretty soon a camera appears and all the Air Force guys are taking pictures of each other by the sign. Our hero is back in the tower now, and notices the bomber’s commander is talking on a cell phone. Our guy gets on the radio to the airport truck and asks for that guy’s phone number. As soon as he finishes that call, our guy calls the aircraft commander. When he answers, our guy says “I’m calling about the plane you have for sale.” Aircraft commander about falls over from the laughter. It just so happened that the chief photographer for our local newspaper is a pilot and he may have been called prior to the sign being placed. He was told to get up here with a big lens. Here’s one of the pics he got: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3415/3315809933_35fa96d641_o.jpg

An article showed on the front page of the Sunday paper. When that came out, the Colonel running Ellsworth called the airport director and read him the riot act, wondering what kind of dog and pony show he was running up there. We were later informed by the crew that the sign was framed and is now permanently mounted inside the aircraft. Hard to have that kind of fun anymore.

Scott (Scott is an air traffic controller in Billings , MT )


TOPICS: Humor; Military/Veterans
KEYWORDS:
Good story.
1 posted on 07/03/2014 6:54:20 AM PDT by NKP_Vet
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To: NKP_Vet

2 posted on 07/03/2014 7:00:02 AM PDT by FreeAtlanta (Liberty or Big Government - you can't have both.)
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To: NKP_Vet

thanks, for the post..and your service.

3 posted on 07/03/2014 7:03:17 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a weapon...0'Jihadist/"Rustler" Reid? d8-)
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To: All

after the wheels hit the pavement, the value drops 40% but this has seen some mileage too, what does it have 750,000k and it’s got a few dents and that paint has to go, I dunno... I’ll tell you what, I’ll have a few guys here this afternoon and we won’t charge you to tow it away.. deal?


4 posted on 07/03/2014 7:09:06 AM PDT by newnhdad (Our new motto: USA, it was fun while it lasted.)
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To: newnhdad

Take it to Pawn Stars.....I know they would have to clean it up a bit to get their money back but it would eb worth it.


5 posted on 07/03/2014 7:11:27 AM PDT by Yorlik803 ( Church/Caboose in 2016)
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To: NKP_Vet
LOL!

Another story:

An infantry platoon was hopelessly lost on a long range patrol. The Platoon Leader, a 2nd Lieutenant, picks up the microphone and barks, "I'm f---ing lost!!!"

It just so happens that the Brigade Commander hears that transmission, and replies "This is the Brigade Commander. Whoever made that last transmission, identify yourself!"

The LT calmly answers, "I may be f---ing lost, but I'm not f---ing stupid!"

6 posted on 07/03/2014 7:25:01 AM PDT by Night Hides Not (Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad! Remember Mississippi!)
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To: NKP_Vet

If you want it, you’d better put something down on it now. I got a guy from Moscow said he was coming back this afternoon to pick it up. But seein’s how I like you ...


7 posted on 07/03/2014 7:26:07 AM PDT by IronJack
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To: Yorlik803

wait a minute, he has a buddy that knows about this stuff, he’s got to give him a call before an offer is made..


8 posted on 07/03/2014 7:28:40 AM PDT by newnhdad (Our new motto: USA, it was fun while it lasted.)
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To: NKP_Vet

NOT my fault.


9 posted on 07/03/2014 7:35:32 AM PDT by Darksheare (Try my coffee, first one's free..... Even robots will kill for it!)
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To: Yorlik803
Take it to Pawn Stars.....I know they would have to clean it up a bit to get their money back but it would eb worth it.

That guy Mark with the straw hat would have to come in to authenticate it. I'm not buyin' anything that might be a "copy" and does not have proper documentation. Or that Chumly played with in the shop's back room.

10 posted on 07/03/2014 8:30:16 AM PDT by llevrok (Straight. Since 1950.)
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To: NKP_Vet

I appreciate this story and pics. Usually don’t laugh at stories that take time to read, but this is a good chuckle.


11 posted on 07/03/2014 8:43:17 AM PDT by Lockbar (What would Vlad The Impaler do?)
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To: NKP_Vet

Does it still have that new bomber smell?


12 posted on 07/03/2014 8:44:00 AM PDT by eieio1
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To: NKP_Vet

I can imagine that security could sit down for a week what with the butt ends removed. I am sure there was a ruckus within Air Force security as well.

I remember attending an air show as NAS Corpus Christi when the F 117 was fairly new it was the only plane roped off and the only one with armed guards surrounding it.


13 posted on 07/03/2014 8:45:07 AM PDT by Kartographer ("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
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To: eieio1

More like old bloomer smell.


14 posted on 07/03/2014 8:49:24 AM PDT by Louis Foxwell (This The author is corrects a wake up call. Join the Sultan Knish ping list.)
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To: newnhdad

I’m interested in buying, but can I have my mechanic take a good look over it before I put money down?


15 posted on 07/03/2014 8:52:13 AM PDT by MHGinTN
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To: eieio1

LMAO!


16 posted on 07/03/2014 9:08:31 AM PDT by SgtHooper (This is not my tag!)
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To: NKP_Vet

17 posted on 07/03/2014 9:11:57 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: NKP_Vet
If it has the smell of napalm the deal is off. ;-)
18 posted on 07/03/2014 9:44:00 AM PDT by Stanwood_Dave ("Testilying." Cop's don't lie, they just Testily{ing} as taught in their respected Police Academy.)
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To: Stanwood_Dave

best post on Free Republic in a long time!!!


19 posted on 07/03/2014 11:16:42 AM PDT by panzerkamphwageneinz
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To: panzerkamphwageneinz

Bookmark


20 posted on 07/03/2014 11:18:37 PM PDT by publius911 ( Politicians come and go... but the (union) bureaucracy lives and grows forever.)
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To: NKP_Vet; blueyon; KitJ; T Minus Four; xzins; CMS; The Sailor; ab01; txradioguy; Jet Jaguar; ...

Active duty ping.


21 posted on 07/03/2014 11:31:35 PM PDT by Jet Jaguar (Resist in place.)
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To: NKP_Vet

hilarious


22 posted on 07/03/2014 11:36:42 PM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans)
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Bfl


23 posted on 07/04/2014 12:59:14 PM PDT by Professional Engineer (You all can go to hell, I'm going to Texas.)
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To: mylife

Ping


24 posted on 07/04/2014 1:53:15 PM PDT by NYTexan
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To: Night Hides Not
Reminds me of the Lieutenant who got a little loaded at his unit's dining out. As the event is winding down, he made some untoward comments about the assistant division commander's wife, who overheard them. She confronts the lieutenant asking, "Do you know who I am?" The LT replies, "Yes ma'am. Do you know who I am?" The lady replies, "No."

The lieutenant replies, "Good!" and makes a quick departure from the event, disappearing into the night.

25 posted on 07/04/2014 2:00:19 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
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To: Jet Jaguar

Interesting. I just drove by Ellsworth yesterday. Shoulda stopped and kicked the tires...


26 posted on 07/04/2014 4:54:48 PM PDT by TADSLOS (The Event Horizon has come and gone. Buckle up and hang on.)
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