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Funny Interviews: Meet the Dumbest Job Applicants
Reader's Digest ^ | april 2014 | Reader's Digest

Posted on 07/27/2014 6:31:18 PM PDT by Innovative

"An individual applied for a customer-service job, and when asked what he might not like about the job, he said, 'Dealing with people.'"

"I had somebody list their prison time as a job. And an exotic dancer who called herself a 'customer service representative.'"

(Excerpt) Read more at rd.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: applicants; jobapplicants; jobs; work
And several more... As they say, truth is stranger than fiction.
1 posted on 07/27/2014 6:31:19 PM PDT by Innovative
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To: Innovative

Those are all pretty good. People are amazingly strange. I liked this one: “Candidate specified that his availability was limited because Friday, Saturday, and Sunday was ‘drinking time.’”


2 posted on 07/27/2014 6:35:58 PM PDT by jocon307
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To: Innovative

I once had an applicant write “Call 911” under the section that asked who to contact in case of an emergency.


3 posted on 07/27/2014 6:36:26 PM PDT by Veggie Todd (The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. TJ)
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To: Innovative

IIRC “escorts” in Asia are called Guest Relations Officers (GROs) or some such.


4 posted on 07/27/2014 6:40:09 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet (The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.)
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To: Innovative

Ok the stripper as customer service is just creative. The dude with the bird scares me more.


5 posted on 07/27/2014 6:42:07 PM PDT by BlueNgold (Have we crossed the line from Govt. in righteous fear of the People - to a People in fear of Govt??)
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To: Innovative
"An individual applied for a customer-service job, and when asked what he might not like about the job, he said, 'Dealing with people.'"

I would say that he had a clear idea of the job. Because that is usually the what gives you the most headaches in customer service, dealing with people!

6 posted on 07/27/2014 6:44:01 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Proud Infidel, Gun Nut, Religious Fanatic and Freedom Fiend)
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To: Innovative
I asked a waitress once, on a scale of 1-100 how hard would she be willing to work?,
she said 85.. I was shocked. I put her in a tight shirt and skirt and had her work the
beer tub. She made a fortune from being hot and dumb.
7 posted on 07/27/2014 6:49:55 PM PDT by MaxMax (Pay Attention and you'll be pissed off too! FIRE BOEHNER, NOW!)
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To: Innovative
My current boss (head of engineering for a very large project) says: "I don't like computers: I like paper."

Yeah. Well -- welcome to the 21st century.

8 posted on 07/27/2014 6:50:58 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy ("Harvey Dent, can we trust him?" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBsdV--kLoQ)
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To: Innovative

Subject From a DC Ticket Agent—too funny!!!

IN SPITE OF THE DANGERS OF THESE PEOPLE RUNNING OUR GREAT NATION, ONE CAN’T HELP BUT LAUGH AT THEIR STUPIDITY.

A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of ‘why’ our country is in trouble:

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman’s (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ‘’I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts....’’

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ‘’Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa ‘’
his response — click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried t o explain that’s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, ‘don’t lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!’’ (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker’s wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ‘’Is it possible to see England from Canada ?’’
I said, ‘’No.’’

She said, ‘’But they look so close on the map.’’ (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ‘’I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time..’’ (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m, and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn’t understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ‘’Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?’’ I said, ‘No, why do you ask?’

He replied, ‘’Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I’m overweight. I think that’s very rude!’’

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ‘’Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?’’

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala who asked, ‘’How do I know which plane to get on?’’

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ‘’I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have that number on them.’’

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ‘’I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida.Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?’’

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ‘’Yeah, whatever, smarty!’’

11. Mary Landrieu, La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. ‘Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.’’

I double checked and sure enough her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ‘’Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!’’

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ‘’I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.’’

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ‘’Are you sure that’s the name of the town?’’

‘Yes, what flights do you have?’’ replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ‘’I’m sorry, sir, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a rhino anywhere.”

‘’The man retorted, ‘’Oh, don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!’’

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ‘’You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?’’

The reply? ‘’Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.’’

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it’s in!

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS,
AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.


9 posted on 07/27/2014 6:51:08 PM PDT by SubMareener (Save us from Quarterly Freepathons! Become a MONTHLY DONOR!)
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To: Veggie Todd

Was it wrong?


10 posted on 07/27/2014 6:53:38 PM PDT by lepton ("It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into"--Jonathan Swift)
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To: Innovative

I once had a chief engineer tell me, “Well, tell me a little about yourself”. I said, “Well, I’m 6’ - 2” tall and weigh 200 pounds.....” He laughed himself silly and offered a job! ;-)


11 posted on 07/27/2014 6:55:36 PM PDT by spel_grammer_an_punct_polise (Why does every totalitarian political hack think that he knows how to run my life better than I do?)
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To: Innovative
For several years, I worked for an employment svc. and took applications, interviewed and referred.

One day after lunch(when I am usually sleepy), I had a young woman who looked straight ahead and talked in a monotone and was totally expressionless.

When my head nodded over, I jerked awake and went on. She didn't seem to notice.

After she left, I called a friend in personnel where she had last worked and without mentioning names(unethical), told her what had happened. I was embarrassed but amused.

She started laughing and said she knew who it was because one day when she worked there, a worker from the mfg. floor came running in ad said this girl had fainted.

The Personnel Dir. had come to his door and said "How can you tell?"

vaudine

12 posted on 07/27/2014 6:59:07 PM PDT by vaudine
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To: BlueNgold

I wonder if anyone ever showed up at an interview with a dummy ??

13 posted on 07/27/2014 6:59:38 PM PDT by mikrofon (Never mind...)
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To: Innovative

They would all fit perfectly as government bureaucrats.


14 posted on 07/27/2014 7:00:55 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (The cure has become worse than the disease. Support an end to the WOD now.)
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To: Innovative

I have been guilty of not taking those interview questions seriously.
Especially the lame ones.
“If you could describe yourself as an animal, what would it be and why?”
Seriously?


15 posted on 07/27/2014 7:01:05 PM PDT by Darksheare (I don't have a copy. one's free..... Even robots will kill for it!)
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To: Innovative


"I, uh, would, uh, like the job of president 'cause I, uh, hate white people and I, uh, like communism and I, uh, like to smoke a doobie now and then and don't mind the company of a male friend, know what I mean? So, like, vote for me! Yes we can!"
16 posted on 07/27/2014 7:03:16 PM PDT by LostInBayport (When there are more people riding in the cart than there are pulling it, the cart stops moving...)
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To: Innovative

I remember when I worked in a small POD, the regional director came down to interview a couple of people for a job.

One was an attractive girl and the other was an ordinary looking guy. We all knew the director tho he was in a different division from us. We talked to him after the interviews and all the guys told him we hoped he hired the girl.

Well he said the guy was a little better qualified but she told him she was a good cook. The job did not involve cooking but she got the job and sure enough about once a week in the morning, she would bring in fresh cooked sausage biscuits for everyone.

This was in the deep South and we all liked them.


17 posted on 07/27/2014 7:18:07 PM PDT by yarddog (Romans 8: verses 38 and 39. "For I am persuaded".)
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To: Innovative

http://notalwaysworking.com/

Tales of for from and about the idiots who do get hired...


18 posted on 07/27/2014 7:29:17 PM PDT by Darksheare (I don't have a copy. one's free..... Even robots will kill for it!)
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To: Innovative

We had a guy come in and said he would do any job that needed doing. Then he said if the company said he was hired as a VP, the govt. would pay his salary and we would get all his work for free.


19 posted on 07/27/2014 7:32:42 PM PDT by philetus (Keep doing what you always do and you'll eventually get what you deserve)
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To: SubMareener

I’d like to bookmark your comment for future reference. I’m sure my family would love to hear these.


20 posted on 07/27/2014 7:57:09 PM PDT by SoCal SoCon (Conservatism =/= Corporatism.)
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To: SubMareener
Speaking of travel agents: We needed to change a plane reservation from Los Angeles to Honolulu. The reservation clerk was having difficulty, but finally, she excitedly exclaimed that she had gotten us a non-stop flight! She acted puzzled when I said: “Well, I hope so!”
21 posted on 07/27/2014 8:15:02 PM PDT by Aunt Polgara
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To: Veggie Todd

That actually doesn’t sound stupid. I knew a man who broke down in tears because, in the section for “who to contact in an emergency”, he had no one he could count on.
Fortunately, ministry lifted him up and he’s in a better place now. But the answer is actually reasonable if there is no one to help.


22 posted on 07/27/2014 8:23:39 PM PDT by tbw2
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To: Innovative

Bookmark


23 posted on 07/27/2014 8:36:04 PM PDT by Mase (Save me from the people who would save me from myself!)
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To: Innovative

Some of those might have gone well in the right context. Others, I’m pretty sure they were hoping to fail so they could keep getting unemployment.

To anyone who complains about how a business is staffed: this is what employers have to sift through!


24 posted on 07/27/2014 8:37:36 PM PDT by Ellendra ("Laws were most numerous when the Commonwealth was most corrupt." -Tacitus)
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To: Innovative
Here are my four favorites that I interviewed.
1. Candidate who answered all questions with his head down (forehead actually pressed against desk).
2. Candidate who said "can you let me know pretty soon because I have an offer from another company and frankly the job you are offering me is not very interesting."
3. Candidate who fiddled with the screws in the chair he was sitting until the arm came off. Which he then handed to me with an apology.

And my favorite:
ME:You seem to have been at your last three or four companies for very short periods of time.
CANDIDATE:I dunno, it's like managers are always out to get me.
ME: Hmmm. Well, why do you want to move from Illinois to Virginia?
CANDIDATE:Because Virginia allows concealed carry.
25 posted on 07/27/2014 8:52:08 PM PDT by Calvin Cooledge
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To: SubMareener
He replied, ‘don’t lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!’...wouldn't surprise me about Bernie Sanders....
26 posted on 07/27/2014 9:18:47 PM PDT by Intolerant in NJ
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To: tbw2

Sadly for someone like (both parents dead,only child) that isn’t so far fetxhwd. People take family for granted.


27 posted on 07/27/2014 9:44:59 PM PDT by autumnraine
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