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A Man And His Cat
New York Times ^ | August 1, 2014 | TIM KREIDER

Posted on 08/03/2014 9:14:20 AM PDT by Seizethecarp

I LIVED with the same cat for 19 years — by far the longest relationship of my adult life. Under common law, this cat was my wife. I fell asleep at night with the warm, pleasant weight of the cat on my chest. The first thing I saw on most mornings was the foreshortened paw of the cat retreating slowly from my face and her baleful crescent glare informing me that it was Cat Food Time. As I often told her, in a mellow, resonant, Barry White voice: “There is no luuve … like the luuve that exists … between a man … and his cat.”

The cat was jealous of my attention; she liked to sit on whatever I was reading, walked back and forth and back and forth in front of my laptop’s screen while I worked, and unsubtly interpolated herself between me and any woman I may have had over. She and my ex Kati Jo, who was temperamentally not dissimilar to the cat, instantly sized each other up as enemies. When I was physically intimate with a woman, the cat did not discreetly absent herself but sat on the edge of the bed with her back to me, facing rather pointedly away from the scene of debauch, quietly exuding disapproval, like your grandmother’s ghost.

‘You’re in love with that cat!’ my then-girlfriend Margot once accused me. To be fair, she was a very attractive cat.

(Excerpt) Read more at opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com ...


TOPICS: Pets/Animals; Society
KEYWORDS: cats; feline; kitty; pets

1 posted on 08/03/2014 9:14:20 AM PDT by Seizethecarp
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To: Slings and Arrows

ping...

Not admitting to any, um, similarity between the writer of the article and myself mind you...


2 posted on 08/03/2014 9:16:55 AM PDT by Seizethecarp (Defend aircraft from "runway kill zone" mini-drone helicopter swarm attacks: www.runwaykillzone.com)
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To: Seizethecarp

There is nothing wrong with loving a cat.

It seems the cat helped the guy to weed out women he wouldn’t want to spend his life with anyway. There is something fishy about people who don’t like cats.


3 posted on 08/03/2014 9:22:02 AM PDT by exDemMom (Current visual of the hole the US continues to dig itself into: http://www.usdebtclock.org/)
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To: exDemMom

Also something fishy, if the article is anything to go by, about guys who don’t like girls!


4 posted on 08/03/2014 9:23:38 AM PDT by miss marmelstein (Richard Lives Yet!)
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To: Seizethecarp

My wife has a cat. The cat and I have formed a hate/tolerate relationship. We each realize that we cannot get rid of the other without making my wife (She Who Must be Obeyed) angry. We would each like to try though.


5 posted on 08/03/2014 9:24:53 AM PDT by Bubba_Leroy (The Obamanation Continues)
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To: Seizethecarp

The Brits have a telling description for such “men” as this article describes.

“Odd, and queer, and quite peculiar.”

For “males” who follow the advice of cats, I say “Bah Humbuggery!”


6 posted on 08/03/2014 9:27:48 AM PDT by GladesGuru (Islam Delenda Est. Because of what Islam is - and for what Muslims do.)
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To: Seizethecarp

My cat used to catch birds and drop them on the ground in front of me. Those were very nice gifts, as far a cat gifts go, but unfortunately I have no use for dead birds. She did, however.


7 posted on 08/03/2014 9:30:43 AM PDT by Telepathic Intruder (The only thing the Left has learned from the failures of socialism is not to call it that)
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To: Seizethecarp

There is something very disturbing when a guy calls a cat his wife, even in jest. Not funny.


8 posted on 08/03/2014 9:38:13 AM PDT by Fungi
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To: Seizethecarp

I could have written the story but with one addition. When I married my girlfriend and came back from our honeymoon , Columbus had left a large stool in the middle of my pillow on our new bed.


9 posted on 08/03/2014 9:40:17 AM PDT by Cyman (We have to pass it to see what's in it= definition of stool sample)
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10 posted on 08/03/2014 9:40:41 AM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: exDemMom

“There is nothing wrong with loving a cat.”

True. The writer of the thread article broke one of my cardinal rules, though: No more than one pussy in the bedroom at a time...and the door must always be securely closed to keep the four-footed ones out when the two-legged one is in for those special interludes! No wonder the writer has all of those ex-girlfriends!


11 posted on 08/03/2014 9:43:19 AM PDT by Seizethecarp (Defend aircraft from "runway kill zone" mini-drone helicopter swarm attacks: www.runwaykillzone.com)
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To: exDemMom

I love my cats and would do anything for them. They fascinate me daily.

The writer seems a bit strange though (probably a liberal).


12 posted on 08/03/2014 9:44:56 AM PDT by FlJoePa
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To: Seizethecarp

Maybe the cat is one of those “third wishes gone wrong.”

(Guy walks into a bar with an ostrich and a stingy cat....)


13 posted on 08/03/2014 9:46:15 AM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: miss marmelstein

I had the impression that he was always picking cat-hating girls, not that he dislikes girls so much. He just needs to choose better!


14 posted on 08/03/2014 9:47:14 AM PDT by exDemMom (Current visual of the hole the US continues to dig itself into: http://www.usdebtclock.org/)
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To: exDemMom

Maybe. I guess it was the NYTs that led me to believe he didn’t like girls, lol.


15 posted on 08/03/2014 9:48:34 AM PDT by miss marmelstein (Richard Lives Yet!)
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To: Cyman
Columbus had left a large stool in the middle of my pillow on our new bed.

I had a Schnauzer who did that to the keyboard on my typewriter when I rushed out (leaving him locked in the kitchen) to file a story by deadline for the weekly newspaper for which I was writing. Jumped right up on the kitchen table to leave his present.

Other days, he peed on the typewriter case I used to block the accordian baby gate where it attached to the door frame to keep him in. His message was clear!

16 posted on 08/03/2014 9:49:40 AM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: Seizethecarp

My cat was disappointed that there were no pictures in the article.

She loves “cute cat” pics.


17 posted on 08/03/2014 10:20:54 AM PDT by moovova
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To: afraidfortherepublic

Yup, THAT’s a schnauzer.


18 posted on 08/03/2014 11:02:23 AM PDT by rockinqsranch ((Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will. They ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.))
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To: Seizethecarp; Slings and Arrows; Glenn; republicangel; Beaker; BADROTOFINGER; etabeta; ...

19 posted on 08/03/2014 11:09:59 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Seizethecarp

When my cat Herb died at 19, it was like losing an arm. We were such good, cuddly friends. (Yes, I’m female — but would it matter?)

My current kitty isn’t that affectionate — but then, he’s a shelter boy adopted when he was a year old. He clearly likes men better than women, crazy about Joe Cocker while I prefer Beethoven. I have to remind him when he gives me that exasperated look that if I had left him there, he would have been put down that very day.

He’s made a few house rules:
1. He gets groomed every morning — or else!
2. He gets catnip and Party Mix every afternoon — or else!

The “or else” consists of marching around my desk knocking everything over, tramping on the puter keys, meowing like crazy until I comply. I like to think this is cat love.


20 posted on 08/03/2014 11:22:59 AM PDT by Veto! (Opinions freely dispensed as advice)
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To: Seizethecarp

Great story...just shared it on Facebook.


21 posted on 08/03/2014 11:49:02 AM PDT by DefeatCorruption
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To: Seizethecarp
Under common law, this cat was my wife.

Wrong, you twit.

From what self-obsessed fever swamp is the NYT pulling these idiot journos these days?

22 posted on 08/03/2014 12:24:00 PM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Veto!
2. He gets catnip and Party Mix every afternoon — or else!

Party Mix rules!

23 posted on 08/03/2014 12:45:27 PM PDT by Focault's Pendulum (I live in NJ....' Nuff said!)
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To: Seizethecarp
Not admitting to any, um, similarity between the writer of the article and myself mind you...

OK, then I will.

Thanks for the last several pings.

24 posted on 08/03/2014 12:48:06 PM PDT by Focault's Pendulum (I live in NJ....' Nuff said!)
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To: miss marmelstein
Also something fishy, if the article is anything to go by, about guys who don’t like girls!

My cat doesn't mind if I play softball 4 mornings a week from March till snowfall as long as I feed her.

The day I realized my last wife didn't love me was when I bought her a Bosch table saw for her birthday and she proceeded to cuss me out. Talk about ungrateful!

So I gave it to my cat and my cat and I have been best buds ever since...........

25 posted on 08/03/2014 1:22:47 PM PDT by Hot Tabasco (Is there such a thing as a vegan zombie?)
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To: Hot Tabasco

A happy ending for all!


26 posted on 08/03/2014 1:27:55 PM PDT by miss marmelstein (Richard Lives Yet!)
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To: Seizethecarp
When DH and I were talking marriage I explained that it was "Love me, tolerate my cat". After the current cat passed on we did not have to get another one but I would keep my commitment to this one for the rest of his natural life.

Happily they took to each other.

George T Cat however is banished from the bedroom during ...mmmm.... moments of marital intimacy.

27 posted on 08/03/2014 1:33:34 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Proud Infidel, Gun Nut, Religious Fanatic and Freedom Fiend)
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To: Seizethecarp
Another part of me, perhaps more sentimental but also more truthful, had to acknowledge that the cat was undeniably another being in the world, experiencing her one chance at being alive, as I was.

Thanks for posting this article. I enjoyed it!

28 posted on 08/03/2014 11:37:24 PM PDT by boatbums (God is ready to assume full responsibility for the life wholly yielded to Him.)
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To: Telepathic Intruder

My cat used to catch birds and drop them on the ground in front of me. Those were very nice gifts, as far a cat gifts go, but unfortunately I have no use for dead birds. She did, however.

Those birds weren’t gifts. She wanted you to clean them and cook them.


29 posted on 08/04/2014 12:03:43 AM PDT by Moonman62 (The US has become a government with a country, rather than a country with a government.)
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To: Seizethecarp
FTA: Biologists call cats “exploitive captives,” an evocative phrase that might be used to describe a lot of relationships, not all of them interspecies.

LOL, great line.

When it comes to intimate moments, however, I neither notice nor care where the cat may be. Tho I suppose if she were to decide to perch upon someone during the act it would suddenly become a matter of urgent banishment. *snerk*

I knew I shoulda trimmed those claws...
30 posted on 08/04/2014 12:18:57 AM PDT by Titan Magroyne (What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.)
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To: Larry Lucido

I got it Larry, If no one else did (or was willing to admit).

LOL

CC


31 posted on 08/04/2014 3:29:57 PM PDT by Celtic Conservative (tease not the dragon for thou art crunchy when roasted and taste good with ketchup)
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To: Celtic Conservative

Thanks, glad someone caught it. :-)


32 posted on 08/04/2014 4:39:08 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: Cyman; Seizethecarp
Columbus had left a large stool in the middle of my pillow on our new bed.

I had the very same problem with my pet any time he was left alone in the house... Only he was a 125lb Malamute... :(

33 posted on 08/04/2014 4:48:58 PM PDT by roamer_1 (Globalism is just socialism in a business suit.)
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