Humor the Antidepressant: The Fountain of Youth

WARNING: If you tend toward posterior constriction or other puritanical proclivities, do not let your eyes stray below this line.

Our society worships youth — the appearance of youth rather than the innocence and inexperience of youth.

If the external is so important, where does that leave folks bypassed by the fairy of beauty? Unfortunately, youth and beauty do not always walk hand-in-hand. But if we are willing to invest our hearts, minds, and bodies, the Fountain of Youth is accessible to all.

History offers countless stories of expeditions seeking the physical location of the Fountain of Youth. Since such searches found nothing of consequence, folks turned to alternative solutions. Thus, the billion dollar industry of pills and miracle creams has swept the world, preying on those in pursuit of eternal youth.

All the “miracle” treatments in the world cannot stop the passage of time. Not even the multiple facelifts, Botox shots, and other rictus-resembling attempts to clutch at the elusiveness of youth change the inevitable outcome. In fact, the results of some treatments are downright scary and horror film-worthy.

When we watch a person speak after they had a Botox shot treatment, it is similar to viewing a multiple car collision. You cannot look away. The shot irons out wrinkles by relaxing the facial muscles, and perhaps some brain wrinkles as well.

The problem is facial expressions are how people read each other. When nothing but the lips move, the sincerity of the speaker comes into question. A perfect solution for politicians running for office for the first or the umpteenth time.

Some folks choose facelifts in their battle against the ravages of time. But before long, that one last perfect facelift could move your nose next to your ear. The upside is you will have no problem sniffing the perfume you dabbed behind your ears. However, we recommend you refrain from taking deep breaths or else a wad of earwax may get stuck in your nostrils. Could such treatments be the precursors of the zombie apocalypse?

Why do some folks act and appear younger than their chronological age? Have they discovered a secret? The short answer is they have.

Take a few minutes to scan pictures in the newspaper of couples married for 50 or 60 years. Based on the murderous expression on some couples’ faces, one wonders if they fought over something trivial or serious before posing for those pictures. Whatever the cause, the couples look miserable, angry and undeniably crabby. Why stay married for so long if you hate each other?

The little-known truth is, in some cases, decades fly by without the grumpy couple’s engagement in the Horizontal Mambo. The longer folks go without, the grumpier they become.

Can you blame them? They deny each other one of the most rejuvenating, exhilarating and pleasurable activities in life.

After you study those cringe-worthy photographs of hitched but unhappy couples in the newspaper, look around. Before long, you will spot the couples still “dancing” together. You can even find examples of folks who engage in the Horizontal Mambo, or not, in the newspaper comic strips.

For example, Rick Detorie’s comic strip “One Big Happy” includes grandparents who still tease and flirt and Mambo behind closed doors. They are content and relaxed. On the other hand, Brian Crane’s “Pickles” depicts a tense, fussy couple who enjoy jabbing each other with unprotected verbal and physical barbs. They desperately need to Mambo before they inflict further damage to each other’s souls.

People who continue to engage in the Horizontal Mambo appear content, relaxed, and playful. They communicate, laugh, love and enjoy life together. In other words, they remain young at heart — connected and committed to each other (physically and emotionally).

Instead of roaming the world seeking the Fountain of Youth, Ponce de León could have stayed home and discovered that he had the Fountain of Youth within his reach. Assuming Señora de León was willing to participate in the Horizontal Mambo.

Without laughter and the Horizontal Mambo, the zest for life and youth fade away.

My wife and I are almost 64. I try to explain to people that sex is almost as important as food to human beings, the only difference being that you can continue to live if you stop having sex. However, I’m not sure you’d call it living.

Sex is a real need that offers true benefit.

A lot of the baptists around my neck of the woods need to read Song of Solomon. Just sayin’.

And yes, in many ways, my wife and I are still kids.

I have been posting the following about Pelosi for about a year. Barbara Boxer had the same malady from too much Botox and plastic surgery!

"Re Pelosi, her chronic Botox ODing has pickled her brain."

”Pelosi’s doc stuck the Botox needle in too deep and too often! He’s frozen Pelosi’s face and brain.”

My wife was the head RN in a busy FP practice for 3 + decades. Many of their elite female patients were addicted to Plastic Surgery and Botox injections. She labeled it the Barbara Boxer look and mental syndrome. She says Pelosi appears to have the same mental syndrome of too much Botox and Plastic Surgery.

If the patients had another face lift, their pubic hair would become a goatee. Between the Botox and plastic surgery their face was as tight as a new snare drum. Their eyes had a frozen look. Their mental capabilities decreased with each Botox injection. Boxer's aides watched her like a hawk because she had no filters left when she talked. Pelosi is showing the same negative oral utterings.

Pelosi's comments re President Bush instead of President Trump, indicate that she has reached the Barbara Boxer syndrome due to Botox and Plastic Surgery abuse.

Thanks to VVayne for this medical picture of patient abuse of Botox and Plastic Surgery!

“yes, in many ways, my wife and I are still kids.”

My wife and I refer to our church friends and family friends like you as kids or rookies as we are heading into into our 8th decade and well over 50 years of marriage.

Good senses of humor, a relationship with God, good family members and friends and love for all in your realm makes for a longer and happy life.

Use your brains with bridge, Mexican train, crossword puzzles and reading good books or they will shrink and become useless like any unused muscle.

The one thing, we would add to the above is walking and being able to walk in safe and beautiful areas! Our running friends start the knee and hip replacement syndrome in their 50’s.

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.