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Posted on 01/14/2020 11:27:47 AM PST by rightwingintelligentsia
Folks, it finally happened in Bridgeville!!!! I’ve heard folktales about it, seen Memes about it, I’ve heard it was on an episode of Cops or live PD. Honestly I was beginning to think it was an urban legend, until December 26, 2019...
The backstory: We have, quite possibly, the worlds best loss prevention officer at our local Pharmacy. The past few years we literally have made hundreds of shoplifting arrests and a “zero tolerance” mentality when dealing with thieves.
The incident: On the aforementioned date, officers were dispatched to the Pharmacy for shoplifting in progress. The perpetrator was quickly taken into custody and found to be in possession of nearly $100 worth of stolen merchandise stashed away in various pockets of the perps clothing.
Of course the first line of defense was that he/she was going to pay for the items as the perp had not left the store yet...
(Now the “cat & mouse” game begins)
Of course when the perp was confronted with the fact that he/she did not have a wallet, cash, credit or debit card, nor any form of legal tender in their possession, the answer given was that he/she was going to call their brother to come pay for the items when they were standing in line...(Mmmmmkay 🙄). So now the veteran officer quickly pointed out that the majority of the items had already been removed from their original packaging prior to being stuffed in their pockets, and another item had the security label compromised prior to being stashed. And... The perp had a few unknown pills in their front pocket, a glassine baggie containing suspicious white powder in the other pocket, and suspected heroin in another pocket.
The perpetrators response... get ready for it.... dramatic pause..... Drumroll please...
“THESE AREN’T MY PANTS”!!!!
So, now the next obvious question was... Well who’s pants are they? The perp replied: “My cousins pants”... Veteran officer: “What’s your cousin’s name”?
Perp: “I don’t know, the person is not really my cousin, more of a friend that’s like a cousin”. 👮🏻♂️Well, guess what... Game over, dude!!!
Folks, the moral of the story is that if you wake up today with the intention of wearing someone else’s pants, whether or not you intend on being involved in skulduggery, please check your pockets first.
This PSA is brought to you by the BPD.
Have a great day!!
As the perp continued his story the IQ detection meter kept moving lower and lower.
Uhhhh, Dave’s not home, man.
Bridgeville where? Pennsylvania?
Smart criminals don’t get caught (they run for Congress).
Yes; sorry I didn’t specify.
About 13 miles from Pittsburgh.
[[[Bridgeville where? Pennsylvania?]]]
Nope, it’s the Bridgeville near Anytown, USA.
I have often considered hosting a weekly/monthly thread that brings the best stuff from local police blotters.
Some of that is comedy gold...
Sounds like a great idea ! If you do, please put me on your ping list.
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“THESE AREN’T MY PANTS”!!!!
Did the perp have a dog with him named Gromit?
Best of the Blotters. I like it. Please put me on the ping list. Thanks!
Thanks, was just curious,my family is from those parts and Cecil.
Obviously not a progressive community where police have been ordered to ignore shoplifting.
I think National Lampoon had something like that.
I’d like to be on the Facebook Is Evil ping list, please.
The Rite Aid on the corner of Chartiers and Route 50?
That’s the only pharmacy in Bridgeville I can think of.
In all fairness, they should also ignore any beatdowns on shoplifters by store security, employees or owners.
Ping.
Truth is stranger than fiction.
“And... The perp had a few unknown pills in their front pocket, a glassine baggie containing suspicious white powder in the other pocket, and suspected heroin in another pocket.”
Those aren’t my pockets either, officer!
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