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Kaepernick Sad That No Slave Owner Will Enslave Him No Matter How Many Times He Tries Out To Be A Slave
BabylonBee.com ^ | 11-1-2021 | BabylonBee.com

Posted on 11/02/2021 4:06:07 AM PDT by servo1969

NEW YORK, NY—In his new six-episode limited series on Netflix, Colin Kaepernick proudly proclaimed that no NFL slave owner will ever enslave him no matter how many times he tries out to be a slave. After being emancipated from his former owner the San Francisco 49ers in 2016, Kaepernick has worked tirelessly to become a slave again.

"I try out for NFL slavery every year, and they keep rejecting me. The NFL is oppressive, and it's also oppressive that they refuse to oppress me," he said.

In May 2017, he visited the brutal Seattle Seahawks Plantation hoping to become a slave there but unfortunately left training camp with his liberty and independence still intact. Kaepernick then visited the infamous Baltimore Ravens, some of the cruelest slave-drivers in the country, but they too declined to take away his rights and place him in bondage. Finally, in a last-ditch effort, Kaepernick arranged his own private slave auction of himself in Atlanta where he demonstrated his proficiency as a slave for 32 potential owners. Ultimately, he remained unable to find a buyer for himself.

“I’m tired of these rich White men oppressing me by opting not to oppress me,” a heartbroken Kaepernick declared. Sadly, to this day, Colin Kaepernick, a quarterback some refer to as “The MOAT” (Mediocre-est of All-Time), still remains free and liberated.


TOPICS: Humor; Sports
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; kaepernick; netflix; nfl; nike; satire; slave
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1 posted on 11/02/2021 4:06:07 AM PDT by servo1969
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To: servo1969

Stupid is as stupid does....


2 posted on 11/02/2021 4:09:23 AM PDT by sevinufnine
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To: servo1969

Outstanding.


3 posted on 11/02/2021 4:11:35 AM PDT by Mr. Mojo
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To: servo1969

“I’m tired of these rich White men oppressing me by opting not to oppress me,”

I’m thinking that part is actually true. Lol


4 posted on 11/02/2021 4:11:49 AM PDT by V_TWIN
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To: servo1969

LOL! Perfect. I wondered how the Bee was going to make a joke of this considering Kapernick started out with the biggest joke of all comparing a job with a league minimum half a million salary per year to slavery.


5 posted on 11/02/2021 4:12:44 AM PDT by FLT-bird
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To: V_TWIN

Not sure this guy has ever come to grips with the fact that he was raised by a LOVING White couple.


6 posted on 11/02/2021 4:13:35 AM PDT by V_TWIN
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To: sevinufnine

Kaep is a slave unto himself,,,,a poor one at that.


7 posted on 11/02/2021 4:13:43 AM PDT by chopperk
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To: servo1969

What a maroon.


8 posted on 11/02/2021 4:13:48 AM PDT by HighSierra5 (The only way you know a commie is lying is when they open their pieholes.)
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To: servo1969

So, it sounds like “failure” IS an option.


9 posted on 11/02/2021 4:15:54 AM PDT by Coffee... Black... No Sugar (“Salute the Marines.” - Joe )
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To: chopperk

“a slave unto himself”

In all fairness I think he had a little help from his Blm girlfriend


10 posted on 11/02/2021 4:21:24 AM PDT by V_TWIN
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To: servo1969

Vicious.


11 posted on 11/02/2021 4:23:00 AM PDT by Salvavida (Even now, Come Lord Jesus!)
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To: chopperk

IMO he’s the poster boy for everything wrong with the woke generation of America today. Completely ignorant in every way, ungrateful for what he has, angry, just plain wicked at heart.


12 posted on 11/02/2021 4:31:10 AM PDT by sevinufnine
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To: servo1969

What a lost soul.


13 posted on 11/02/2021 4:42:46 AM PDT by wardamneagle (c)
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To: servo1969

Let’s Call Copernicus!


14 posted on 11/02/2021 4:43:37 AM PDT by Fester Chugabrew (No nation that sanctions the wholesale slaughter of its unborn citizens is fit to endure.)
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To: servo1969

Good one from earlier:

How Is Colin Kaepernick Still A Thing?

https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/4008950/posts


15 posted on 11/02/2021 4:52:03 AM PDT by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: FLT-bird

“LOL! Perfect. I wondered how the Bee was going to make a joke of this considering Kapernick started out with the biggest joke of all comparing a job with a league minimum half a million salary per year to slavery.”

I’m sure, the Race Pimp was referring to the fact the the government takes more than half of the sweat of that man’s brow.


16 posted on 11/02/2021 5:01:03 AM PDT by PTBAA
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To: servo1969

His only slavemaster is himself. His chains, he placed himself.


17 posted on 11/02/2021 5:05:35 AM PDT by BBQToadRibs2
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To: servo1969

Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I’m being repressed!


18 posted on 11/02/2021 5:25:40 AM PDT by FatherofFive (We support Trump. Not the GOP)
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To: FreedomPoster

Good one.


19 posted on 11/02/2021 5:27:30 AM PDT by moovova (I'm dismayed that most of the world hates me for being non-vaxxed. Honest. No, really.)
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To: servo1969

Some people NEED to be a victim.

Even a multi-millionaire football player.


20 posted on 11/02/2021 5:34:02 AM PDT by Wildbill22 ( They have us surrounded again, the poor bastards- Gen Creighton William Abrams)
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