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'I'm Not Dead Yet!' Insists Biden As He's Loaded Onto Cart Of Corpses
The Babylon Bee ^
| Aug 18, 2022
| Babylon Bee Staff
Posted on 08/19/2022 12:54:32 PM PDT by dayglored
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Joe Biden was loaded onto a convenient death cart Wednesday despite protests that he was not yet deceased. Witnesses claim the president wriggled a bit in the grip of Vice President Kamala Harris as she insisted he was pretty much as good as dead and attempted to load him onto the cart.
"No, I'm not dead yet! I'm happy! I feel happy! Come on, man!" Biden allegedly said in front of several witnesses.
According to sources, Harris got into a brief argument with the body collector who maintained that he had a strict policy to not add living persons to the cart. "I have a strict policy to only transport dead people," he said. "I'm no biologist, but I think this fellow is alive. I don't own this cart, you know. You're asking me to violate my lease!"
Witnesses claim Harris laughed a considerable amount throughout the exchange. "No no no, he's dead. Pretty much dead, anyway," she said. "Or he will be any moment. HA HAHAHAHAA!"
Harris and the city body collector later came to an undisclosed agreement and Biden, who appeared to be mostly alive just a moment prior, suddenly stopped moving after the body collector went in for a closer inspection.
At publishing time, The White House confirmed Biden had tragically died of totally natural, not-at-all-suspicious causes and named Kamala Harris president in his place.
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biden; cart; imnotdeadyet
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IT'S THE BEE!!!
1
posted on
08/19/2022 12:54:32 PM PDT
by
dayglored
To: dayglored
2
posted on
08/19/2022 12:57:20 PM PDT
by
aquila48
(Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how they control you. )
To: dayglored
BidenIdiot: Nursing home resident.
3
posted on
08/19/2022 12:57:38 PM PDT
by
cranked
To: aquila48
4
posted on
08/19/2022 12:58:10 PM PDT
by
MtnClimber
(For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
To: dayglored
He’s pinin’ for the fjords!
5
posted on
08/19/2022 12:59:14 PM PDT
by
mewzilla
(We need to repeal RCV wherever it's in use and go back to dumb voting machines.)
To: MtnClimber
6
posted on
08/19/2022 1:00:05 PM PDT
by
es345st
To: dayglored
A moose once bit joe biden.
7
posted on
08/19/2022 1:01:54 PM PDT
by
FroggyTheGremlim
(I'll be good, I will, I will!)
To: dayglored
8
posted on
08/19/2022 1:03:19 PM PDT
by
Flick Lives
(FJB and the corrupt FBI)
To: null and void
9
posted on
08/19/2022 1:04:10 PM PDT
by
DoodleBob
(Gravity’s waiting period is about 9.8 m/s²)
To: Flick Lives
“No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment.”
10
posted on
08/19/2022 1:05:12 PM PDT
by
dayglored
("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
To: dayglored
'I'm Not Dead Yet!' Insists Biden As He's Loaded Onto Cart Of Corpses The Babylon Bee ^ | Aug 18, 2022 | Babylon Bee Staff
11
posted on
08/19/2022 1:10:33 PM PDT
by
Grampa Dave
(Anyone, who can make you believe in absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.!" ~ (Voltaire)!!)
To: mewzilla
He’s just shagged out after a prolonged squawk.
12
posted on
08/19/2022 1:20:48 PM PDT
by
mykroar
(Democrats support both types of allowed thought: Marxist and Leninist.)
To: mykroar
BiteMe better pray that Deep State doesn’t have to nail him to his perch...
13
posted on
08/19/2022 1:25:34 PM PDT
by
mewzilla
(We need to repeal RCV wherever it's in use and go back to dumb voting machines.)
To: dayglored
14
posted on
08/19/2022 1:36:44 PM PDT
by
beethovenfan
(The REAL Great Reset will be when Jesus returns. )
To: dayglored
Bring out your president.
15
posted on
08/19/2022 1:48:16 PM PDT
by
Rocky
(The forces of tyranny expand inexorably to fill the space made available for their existence. )
To: Grampa Dave
She turned me into a Newt!!!
16
posted on
08/19/2022 1:58:12 PM PDT
by
DannyTN
To: dayglored
LOL
Harris and the city body collector later came to an undisclosed agreement.
That may be the end result
17
posted on
08/19/2022 2:14:43 PM PDT
by
Vaduz
( )
To: Vaduz
Harris and the city body collector later came to an undisclosed agreement. Live by corruption, die by corruption.
18
posted on
08/19/2022 2:26:45 PM PDT
by
TChad
("Joe, we should evacuate the civilians before the military. You understand that, right? Joe?")
To: dayglored
It was the salmon mousse.
To: TChad
Indeed some rules never change
20
posted on
08/19/2022 3:09:09 PM PDT
by
Vaduz
( )
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