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Spooked By Jan 6 Footage, McConnell Withdraws Head Into Shell
Babylon Bee ^
| March 8, 2023
Posted on 03/08/2023 12:13:33 PM PST by McGruff
According to sources, Senator Mitch McConnell became so spooked today by the release of unedited Jan 6 footage that he withdrew his head into his shell and is refusing to come out.
"Oh no! He's scared! It's ok buddy! You can come out now!" said one of his aides, attempting to coax him out with a handful of seaweed pellets. "Shhh--no one's gonna hurt you! The buffalo man is gone! Come on, it's ok!"
Eyewitnesses say the elderly Senator slowly emerged, his big eyes darting to and fro, scanning for danger. Aides were frustrated, however, when McConnell's eyes caught a glimpse of a red baseball cap out of the corner of his eye, which caused him to panic and flip over on his back and kick his legs helplessly in the air.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; turtlepower
1
posted on
03/08/2023 12:13:33 PM PST
by
McGruff
2
posted on
03/08/2023 12:14:25 PM PST
by
McGruff
(Don't underestimate Joe's ability to f*** things up - Barack Obama)
To: McGruff
LOL, I’d cry if I couldn’t laugh at these hoaxters.
3
posted on
03/08/2023 12:16:38 PM PST
by
1Old Pro
To: McGruff
which caused him to panic and flip over on his back and kick his legs helplessly in the air. I would fail the Voight-Kampff test because of my complete lack of empathy for him flipped over like that.
4
posted on
03/08/2023 12:17:03 PM PST
by
KarlInOhio
(Gain of Pfunction. Gain of Pfunding. Gain of Pfizer. Now in control of Project Pferitas.)
Art imitates life once again.
5
posted on
03/08/2023 12:17:29 PM PST
by
Olog-hai
("No Republican, no matter how liberal, is going to woo a Democratic vote." -- Ronald Reagan, 1960)
To: McGruff
That’s one of the Bee’s best yet!
To: myself
Where's Senator Mitch McConnell's office?
7
posted on
03/08/2023 12:27:27 PM PST
by
McGruff
(Don't underestimate Joe's ability to f*** things up - Barack Obama)
To: McGruff
What is that “olice” (police?) tag? Is that on the flag? Did a Capitol Police officer give that flag to him? They were very friendly to him.
8
posted on
03/08/2023 12:34:28 PM PST
by
MayflowerMadam
(Stupid is supposed to hurt.)
To: McGruff
Post Turtle
The "post turtle" appellation can be applied to any seeker of high office who is viewed as attempting to rise above his or her native abilities and thus would be as out of place if successful as a turtle on a fence post.
9
posted on
03/08/2023 12:47:09 PM PST
by
spokeshave
(Proud Boys, Angry Dads and Grumpy Grandads.)
To: McGruff
McConnell was afraid that Conan was going to rape him.
-PJ
10
posted on
03/08/2023 12:52:25 PM PST
by
Political Junkie Too
( * LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
To: MayflowerMadam
Doesn’t appear to be attached to the flag.
It may be on the plate carrier (vest) that the guy in brown is wearing behind him.
11
posted on
03/08/2023 1:18:21 PM PST
by
2CAVTrooper
(For those who have fought for it, freedom has a flavor that the protected will never know.)
To: McGruff
McCrooked ran home to count his dirty FTX payoff money to make sure it’s still there
12
posted on
03/08/2023 1:22:54 PM PST
by
NWFree
(Somebody has to say it 🤪)
To: McGruff
13
posted on
03/08/2023 1:24:15 PM PST
by
2CAVTrooper
(For those who have fought for it, freedom has a flavor that the protected will never know.)
To: 2CAVTrooper
It looked like it might be zip-tied to the flag grommet.
14
posted on
03/08/2023 1:33:06 PM PST
by
MayflowerMadam
(Stupid is supposed to hurt.)
To: McGruff
McConnell is just a shell of his former self.
15
posted on
03/08/2023 1:57:55 PM PST
by
The Duke
To: Political Junkie Too
ld be horrible with M<Connell’s atrophied old azz.
16
posted on
03/08/2023 2:37:51 PM PST
by
entropy12
(Food is most popular anxiety drug, exercise is the least popular.)
To: packagingguy
17
posted on
03/08/2023 4:06:36 PM PST
by
odawg
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